


when all the stars align for you & i

by londonengland



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Girls In Suits, a lil bit of a slowburn?, adora's an ex jock, but like neither can adora, catra cannot communicate, catra's a theater kid, emotional development (eventually), glimmer and bow are done with adora's shit, horde kids as crewbies, stage manager gf's
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27173662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/londonengland/pseuds/londonengland
Summary: Catra and Adora are seniors in high school. Adora spent three years on the football team, and Catra has made a name for herself in the theater department as a kickass stage manager. This is the year that Catra and Adora have plans for, and this is the year that those plans get... shaken up. Adora learns some things about herself, and so does Catra. Both of them are terrified of growing up, but they'll learn that maybe, just maybe, it won't all be as bad as they feared.Alternatively: Adora joins the theater department and promptly realizes she is a lesbian. Catra is forced to learn how to deal with her feelings.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 62
Kudos: 287
Collections: dianatyrbo she-ra





	1. we could stay at home or watch the sunset

**Author's Note:**

> because of covid, i don't get to have a real senior year, so this is 100% me projecting onto catra and adora. most of their school's culture is based directly off of what goes down at my school. i have no idea where this is going to go, but hopefully it'll be a fun ride! also: they're seniors in high school, so they're 17, which means they're still minors, so let's not make this weird

Catra honestly never thought she’d get this far. From the time she was old enough to conceptualize life and death, she’d assumed that she wouldn’t make it as far as she had. Now that she was here, she was more than a little bit overwhelmed. Senior year loomed closer than ever, bringing with it college application season, financial aid applications, scholarships, and one last round of AP testing. She couldn’t deny that she was happy she’d made it this far. For the first time in her life, she had some vague idea of what she wanted to do with herself. But before she could go anywhere or do anything real, she had to make it through this last year of high school. 

For Adora, high school had gone by in a blur. She still thought of her freshman year as being only a year behind her. She felt like the same person she was, standing in front of the school three years ago, blonde hair pulled into a messy ponytail, gaping not so subtly at the building in front of her. It had all been overwhelming, and it had gone so, so differently than she ever could have predicted. Becoming the star football player had never been on her itinerary. Neither had maintaining a perfect GPA. The last three years had pulled her along with them, and she hadn’t gotten much of a say in the matter. Pieces had fallen into place, and she’d had no real choice but to let them.

Catra and Adora met on the first day of their freshman year in their fifth period social studies class. Every freshman took it. Almost everyone came to resent it. Catra didn’t. The only reason she didn’t was the very pretty, very nervous blonde girl who sat down next to her on the first day. The girl stumbled over her words, but she managed to introduce herself as Adora, and Catra couldn’t help but notice how pretty Adora’s smile was.  
Sitting next to Adora in social studies was the only reason Catra showed up regularly. As it turned out, the two of them worked surprisingly well together. At the end of the second week of school, Catra left social studies with Adora’s number in her phone. Adora had added a heart and a smiley face next to her contact name. Catra texted Adora later that afternoon to ask if she was going to bother to do the homework. Adora, terrified of breaking rules, had responded with a simple “of course”. Well, it would have been simple if Adora hadn’t added exactly seven exclamation points. Catra counted.

The next week, Catra and Adora started having lunch together. Catra dragged Adora to the theater department. When Catra wasn’t in class, she was in the theater department. She’d made friends with the tech girl, Entrapta, and decided to stay awhile. Adora liked the theater department. The second day she had lunch there, she invited Bow and her adoptive sister, Glimmer, along. Bow had been quick to accept Catra into their little group (the Best Friend Squad, as he insisted on calling it). Glimmer had taken a little while to warm up to Catra’s dry humor and snarky remarks, but they fell into a strange friendship soon enough.

A couple of months into the school year, Catra had become the theater department’s new favorite crewbie. She suspected that she was only well liked because she showed up and got to work, and never bothered to leave, but she liked the department too much to complain. Plus, she was good at what she did. She picked up drilling and hammering and sound checks in no time, and she was loud enough to get the rowdy freshmen in line. Kyle, who looked like he should have been in third grade instead of high school, learned to shut up as soon as Catra looked at him, but Lonnie and Rogelio fought Catra a little more. Eventually, though, they shut up.

Auditions for the school year’s first show came around, and Adora learned all too quickly that she couldn’t act if her life depended on it. She left the auditorium trying not to cry; she’d been so eager to find where she fit in the theater department. It was supposed to be the thing that kept her and Catra together for the next four years. But Adora was no good at building things, and she was a bit of a pushover, and she was probably the worst actress in the whole school.

Adora ended up trying out for the football team and just barely making tryouts. She didn’t play at all that whole year, but she got in damn good shape. By the end of the year, she was plucking Catra off her feet regularly, just to prove that she could.  
There was one other girl on the football team with Adora: Scorpia. Catra and Scorpia got along well enough. It was clear that Scorpia had an intense crush on Catra for the first few months of their friendship. She got over it eventually, though, and ended up with a blonde, flowery girlfriend named Perfuma. Catra and Adora were both completely convinced that someday not too soon after graduation, Scorpia and Perfuma’s wedding invitation would show up in the mail.

Over the next two years, Catra turned into the best stage manager in the theater department. She was good at it, and people listened to her. Her unsettling death glare and ever present scowl probably helped. Adora turned into the star football player. The whole school knew her name and her face. There were times when she loved it, and times when she wanted to crawl into a hole and never come back out. Those were the times when she was happier than ever to have Catra to ground her. 

Thanks to her status as Adora’s best friend, Catra was also well known by the school. People smiled at her in the hallways, even though all Catra did was glare at them. Catra had no interest in being the subject of gossip. Neither did Adora, although neither of them had a say in the matter. Bets flew wildly about which one of them would break first and plan some elaborate dance proposal. Adora was blissfully oblivious to most of it. Catra ignored how it made her cheeks burn and pretended like the whole thing was a funny joke. 

Catra had, of course, had a crush on Adora since her first wildly enthusiastic text about social studies homework. For a while, she had refused to admit it to herself. Glimmer had teased her about it relentlessly, and Bow had spent hours cooking up confession plans for her. Catra never went through with any of them. At some point, Catra had gotten tired of their antics, and sold them a story about how, yes, she’d had feelings for Adora, but she was over it and ready to move on with her life. Surprisingly, they ate it up. Glimmer still teased her from time to time, but Bow left it alone.

Adora had never really had an interest in dating boys. Almost all of the ones on the football team had asked her out, as well as quite a few outside of the team. She’d turned them all down, claiming that she had too much going on to focus on a relationship. The truth was that she just wasn’t interested in any of them. She didn’t want to say that to their faces, though. It felt too mean. Adora really just wasn’t interested in boys. She hadn’t even considered girls as an option. She’d always considered herself straight. She was sure that the right boy would come along at some point, but even if he didn’t, Adora would have been content to spend the rest of her life with Catra, laughing at jokes only they understood and watching the sun set from the top of their playground.

Catra had never realized just how surreal the night before senior year would feel. Sitting by Adora’s side felt like being in limbo. Like as soon as either of them dared to move or speak, the glass surrounding them, keeping them warm and safe, would shatter irreparably. Catra wasn’t ready for that, so she wordlessly leaned her head on Adora’s shoulder and closed her eyes.

Adora reached up to run her fingers through Catra’s hair. She’d always liked it. It was wild and wavy and thick and soft. Catra always wore it down, and Adora took every chance she got to touch it. 

“Hey,” Adora said softly. “Are you excited for tomorrow?”

And there it was. The glass was broken. Catra shivered, suddenly cold. She scooted closer to Adora. “I guess,” she said nonchalantly.

“How can you not be excited?” Adora asked. “It’s our last year of high school.”

“I dunno,” Catra said. She reluctantly dragged herself away from Adora and hugged her knees to her chest. “I think you like high school more than I do.”

“Who says?” Adora challenged, grinning.

“Says me,” Catra retorted. “And all of the teachers who think you’re a delight. And all of the boys who would probably pay you for a date. And the whole rest of the school.”

“Shouldn’t it matter more what I say?” asked Adora. She had deflated slightly.

“Yeah,” Catra said quietly, feeling a little guilty. “It should.”

Adora didn’t say anything. She was looking back at the sky. It was already dark; the sun had gone down at least an hour ago and the stars were starting to peek out.

“Are you excited?” Catra asked when it was clear that Adora wasn’t going to keep talking.

Adora shrugged. She still wasn’t looking at Catra. “Kind of. It’s a lot of pressure.”

“How so?” Catra asked.

“I have to keep my grades up for scholarships. I can’t expect Micah and Angella to pay for my college.”

“Adora, they adopted you,” Catra reminded her. “They knew what they were getting into.”

“Yeah,” Adora said. “But Glimmer’s their real daughter, and they only adopted me because they thought they couldn’t have a kid of their own.”

“You’re their real daughter, too. They love you,” Catra said. She hated hearing Adora talk like that. Like she wasn’t really wanted.

“But I can’t expect them to do everything for me,” Adora said. “They’ve already done so much.”

“They have,” Catra said. “But you’re still a kid. And they adopted you. They’re still responsible for you.”

Adora let the words hang in the air for a little while. Catra was right, she knew. Micah and Angella wouldn’t have adopted her if they didn’t want her, but a tiny part of her had always wondered if they’d just taken pity on a little orphan girl. Sure, Adora’s parents had been good friends with Micah and Angella. She probably would have grown up with them as her honorary aunt and uncle if her parents hadn’t died, but that didn’t mean Adora didn’t feel guilty about all the time and money they spent on her, especially when they had their own daughter. 

“I have to pay them back,” Adora said quietly.

“No, you don’t,” Catra said. 

Adora dropped the subject. She wasn’t willing to fight with Catra, and she was too tired to anyway. 

Catra and Adora sat in silence for a little while longer before the cold got to be too much. They walked back to Catra’s car, finally falling back into their usual teasing and stories and laughing. As Adora watched Catra laugh, she was certain that there was no one else that she’d rather have by her side this year. She almost reached over and took Catra’s hand, but she stopped herself. She doubted Catra would want that. Catra wasn’t exactly generous with her touches.

After Adora climbed out of Catra’s car and made her promise to get to sleep at a reasonable hour, she stopped in the kitchen for leftovers - roasted chicken with mashed potatoes and broccoli - and then trudged upstairs. 

Glimmer was sitting on Adora’s bed with her bright pink planner open in front of her.

“Hey,” Adora said, baffled. Glimmer didn’t usually hang out in Adora’s room without her there.

“Hey,” Glimmer said. “I need your help with something.”

“Oh?” Adora asked, sitting down at her desk and raising an eyebrow in question.

“It’s not too late to do my hair, right?”

“I think I’m the wrong person to be asking,” Adora said around a mouthful fo potato.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Glimmer said before returning to the urgent topic of her hair. “My roots are super grown out, and I don’t wanna start senior year with fucked up hair.”

“You hair doesn’t look bad,” Adora said. She said it mostly because it was true, but also because she really, really, didn’t feel like learning how to dye hair. Usually, Glimmer had Bow help her with these things.

“It does,” Glimmer said in a tone that made it clear there would be no way to change her mind. “Will you help me fix it?”

“Why can’t you ask Bow?” Adora whined.

“He’s busy with his brothers,” Glimmer said. “Plus, I wanna spend time with you.”

“Can’t we spend time together without hair dye?” Adora asked.

“Nope. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”

“Leaving?” Adora asked. “Where are we going?”

“Salineas,” Glimmer said. “I don’t have any bleach or dye or anything.”

Adora groaned. “Please tell me we’re just doing your roots.”

“Yep,” Glimmer said. “I like this color. I think I’ll leave it like this for a while.”

Glimmer had dyed her hair for the first time when she was fourteen. It had been the product of a school related mental breakdown, and it looked undeniably terrible. Once she and Bow got the hang of dyeing her hair, though, it looked pretty great. Plus, Adora knew nothing about hair dye, but she knew that doing it yourself was worlds cheaper than paying someone to do it for you.

True to her word, Glimmer was dragging Adora out the front door ten minutes later, calling to Micah and Angella that they’d be back in a little while. 

Salineas smelled like hair dye. Adora wrinkled her nose when she first walked in. She followed helplessly as Glimmer dragged her to the back of the store, where the bleach and dye were. She grabbed bleach packets and a bottle of dye, and they were back in the car less than ten minutes later.

A freight train turned Glimmer and Adora’s quick drive home into a half hour ride. Adora couldn’t help but pull her phone out of her pocket to text Catra.

Adora  
Help.  
Glimmer’s making me help her do her hair

Catra  
that doesn’t sound too bad. what are you complaining for?

Adora  
Catra I know nothing about hair dye

Catra  
you’re a fast learner. i’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon

Adora  
You suck

Catra  
love you too. i’m gonna go to sleep though, so goodnight

Adora  
Goodnight! Sleep well :))

Just like Catra had predicted, Adora picked up hair dyeing rather quickly. Glimmer showed her how to section her hair and mixed up the bleach. It didn’t take nearly as long as Adora thought it would, but it was still almost midnight by the time the dye was washed out and Glimmer was finally happy with how pink her hair was. The whole bathroom smelled like hair dye, and Adora was pretty sure it would for a while.

Catra took the long way home after she dropped Adora off. As always, she was less than excited to get home. She doubted Shadow Weaver would be there; she was always off drinking or gambling these days. Still, being home wasn’t exactly fun. There were always dishes in the sink and unfolded laundry on the couch. 

By the time Catra had her mother’s messes cleaned up, Adora was texting her about Glimmer’s latest antics. Catra couldn’t help but smile when she saw Adora’s name light up her phone screen, accompanied by the same heart and smiley face that Adora had added when she first gave Catra her number. 

Catra was still smiling when she said goodnight to Adora. She wasn’t really going to bed right then, so it wasn’t completely true, but Catra was tired enough that she suspected she’d fall into bed as soon as she was done eating and showering. 

She was wrong. Catra spent far too long staring up at her ceiling, debating whether or not she should text Adora. She decided against it, and spent the rest of the night tossing and turning.


	2. only a day old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> on today's episode of she ra high school: catra and adora go to school like the dedicated students that they are. spoiler alert: they're late for their first class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because of covid, i don't get to have a real senior year, so this is 100% me projecting onto catra and adora. most of their school's culture is based directly off of what goes down at my school. i have no idea where this is going to go, but hopefully it'll be a fun ride! also: they're seniors in high school, so they're 17, which means they're still minors, so let's not make this weird

Adora woke up a whole hour before her alarm went off. She’d always been like that -- unable to relax and let the world pass her by. She stayed in bed for a little while, staring up at the ceiling. She was supposed to be excited about this, so why was she dreading getting out of bed? Her limbs felt heavy, and it was as if a twenty pound weight had decided to take a nap on her chest. Her heart was racing, and she couldn’t bring herself to move. 

When Adora’s alarm eventually went off, she startled and jumped out of bed instantly. She swayed on her feet for a moment, leaning against the bed to steady herself. Once she caught her balance, she blinked and got to work making her bed. Adora had always done what Catra referred to as sleep fighting. There were people who tossed and turned, and there were people who kicked in their sleep. Adora did both of those, plus punching. Hence, sleep fighting. 

Adora looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was in its usual high ponytail, but she couldn’t get her little hair poof to lay right. She scowled and pulled everything out of her hair. Huh. It looked kind of nice. Catra always said she should wear her hair down more, so she left it. 

“Adora,” Glimmer said a little too loudly, pounding on the bathroom door. “Are you almost done?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, putting her hairbrush back in its drawer.

“Can I come in then?” Glimmer asked. She sounded even more impatient than she usually did in the morning. “My hair dried really fucking weird.”

“Okay, okay,” Adora said as she opened the door. She swallowed a laugh. Glimmer’s hair did look kind of ridiculous. They dye looked great, but her hair had dried a little too poofy and a little too wavy. 

Glimmer didn’t say anything else as she pushed past Adora.

“Catra’s taking me to school, so you get the car,” Adora said over her shoulder. 

“Okay,” Glimmer said, although Adora wasn’t really sure if she’d heard her properly. 

Adora decided that leaving her hair down was enough of a change, and pulled on her favorite of her signature outfits: gray jeans, a white T-shirt, and her red bomber jacket. It had become her favorite outfit the day that Catra made some comment about how pretty red looked on Adora. Before Adora went downstairs, she put a hair tie around her wrist, just in case she got tired of having her hair in her face all day.

Downstairs, Micah and Angella were sitting at the kitchen table. Angella had a mug cradled in both hands, probably full of black tea and more honey than any regular person would add. Micah had a glass of orange juice and an open book in front of him.

“Good morning,” Angella said. “How did you sleep?”

“Morning,” Adora said. “Not bad. How about you?”

“Pretty good, actually,” Angella said, smiling. “Do you want any breakfast?”

“I can make something,” Adora said. She was already pulling out bread and butter for toast. 

“Are you going with Glimmer? Or is Catra picking you up?”

“Catra’s picking me up,” Adora said. “We’ll probably go do something after school, unless you want me home.”

“Try to be home for dinner?” Angella asked. “Catra’s welcome to join us if she wants.”

“Thanks,” Adora said. Micah and Angella were well aware of Catra’s less than ideal home life. She’d spent nights with Adora before, but besides that, she’d never accepted any kind of help from Micah and Angella. 

When Adora sat down at the table with her toast, Micah looked up from his book for a moment. “Good morning,” he said brightly.

“Good morning,” Adora said. She remembered not to talk with her mouth full. “Whatcha reading?”

“Oh, nothing,” Micah said dismissively. “Just this book about how chemistry is really just an educated guess, since right now, we don’t technically have a way to figure out what happens to things at an elemental level.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah,” Adora said. She hated chemistry. 

Glimmer trudged downstairs looking far less ridiculous than she had when she burst into the bathroom. Her hair was flat ironed, and she’d managed to put on a full face of makeup in the fifteen minutes that Adora had been downstairs. How she did that every day, Adora would never know.

Glimmer sat down next to Adora and grabbed the last piece of toast off of Adora’s plate. She took a bite and then put it back down.

“Hey!” Adora protested. “Get your own.”

“That’s all I wanted,” Glimmer promised. “Anything going on tonight?”

“I’d like to have you both home for dinner,” Angella said. “I told Adora that Catra’s welcome to join us, and so is Bow.”

“We could make a fun thing out of it,” Glimmer said. “But I think Bow might have a family thing tonight. His dads really, really like to cook, and all of his brothers are home right now.”

“All of them?” Adora asked. “Where are they all sleeping?”

“They have a big house,” Glimmer shrugged. “We could do a friends dinner at the end of the week.”

“Sounds good to me,” Angella said. Micah hummed in approval, not bothering to fully look up from his weird chemistry book.

“Dad, what the hell are you reading?” Glimmer asked. “You hate reading.”

“Not this book,” Micah said. He launched into a much more complicated explanation of chemistry than he’d given Adora. Adora tuned the whole thing out and waited for the clock to hit 7:15.

Right at 7:15, Adora’s phone buzzed with a text from Catra, saying that she was out front. Adora jumped up immediately. 

“Leaving?” Angella asked.

“Yeah,” Adora said. “Bye! Have a good day!”  
Catra was parked in front of the driveway. Her hair was down and pinned out of her face, and she was wearing a black T-shirt that she’d stolen from Adora at some point. 

“Hey, Adora,” she said when Adora flung the door open and tossed her backpack in.

“Hey,” Adora said, a little bit breathlessly. “How are you?”

“Eh,” Catra shrugged. “On my way to school, so, not great.”

Adora rolled her eyes. “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine,” Catra said a little too quickly. Adora was pretty sure she was lying. Catra checked her mirrors and pulled away. She was definitely driving too fast for a neighborhood. “How did your little hair dye adventure go?”

“Good, actually,” Adora said. “Glimmer’s hair turned out really good.”

“Maybe if she gets to school on time for once I’ll get to see it.”

“We literally all have lunch together,” Adora reminded her.

Catra stopped at the stop sign and looked over at Adora. She tugged on a little piece of Adora’s hair. “Babe, I know. I’m joking. Glimmer’s never on time to anything. Ever.”

Adora looked down at her hands, folded neatly in her lap. Catra had never called her babe before. But friends did that all the time, right? They were just friends, and Catra was just messing with her. Catra liked doing that.

“Ha. Yeah,” Adora said. “Remember when she was late to our sleepover?”

“Not sure how she did that, since the sleepover was in her room, but yeah.”

The main school parking lot was almost completely full by the time Catra and Adora got to school. The west lot was always empty though, and since it was closest to both the theater department and the football field, that’s where Catra parked.

She found a spot facing the school. Since the school buses were just pulling in, Catra and Adora decided to wait out the flood of underclassmen and stay in the car for just a little bit longer.

“Wanna go to homecoming this year?” Adora asked eagerly. She already knew Catra’s answer, but she asked anyway. Catra had made her a promise, after all.

“No,” Catra said, right on cue.

“But you promised,” Adora reminded her. It was true. Every year, Adora asked Catra if she wanted to go to homecoming (just as friends), and every year, Catra said no. Her excuse was always the same: too much effort to hang around with people she didn't like anyway. She wasn't exactly wrong, but Adora didn't like missing out on things. Junior year, Adora made Catra promise that they’d go senior year, even if it was just for a little while.

“I know I promised,” Catra said. “But what if I want to revoke my promise?”

“Can’t do that,” Adora said. “We pinky promised.”

“Dumbass,” Catra said fondly. “Fine. But we’re only staying for an hour. Max. And I’m not wearing a dress.”

“What else would you wear?” Adora asked.

“A suit,” Catra said. “Duh.”

“You know homecoming is supposed to be semi formal, right?” Adora asked, already picturing Catra in a suit.

“Homecoming will be as formal as I want it to be,” Catra declared. “And I don’t like wearing dresses, so I’m wearing a suit.”

“Idea,” Adora said excitedly. “We both wear suits.”

Catra looked over at Adora, eyebrows raised. Adora wasn’t usually the one making wild suggestions, but Catra certainly wasn’t upset with this particular one.

“If you would like to wear a suit, you go right ahead,” Catra said. An image of Adora in a suit popped into Catra’s mind, and Catra had to look down and pretend to fiddle with her keys to hide her blush. 

“Cool,” Adora said. “We go to homecoming together, and we both wear suits.”

“And we’re only staying for an hour,” Catra said insistently. “Don’t forget that part.”

“And we’re only staying for an hour,” Adora echoed.  
When Catra looked up again, all of the buses had pulled out and the flood of nervous fourteen year olds had made their way inside. She checked the time on her phone. She and Adora had exactly… no minutes to get to their first period class.

“Shit,” Catra said. “We gotta go.”

Adora groaned. Her first class was math, something she was less than pleased about. Her teacher had a reputation. Apparently, the guy could put anyone to sleep with his voice. He was also notoriously bad at math, for an advanced math teacher. 

Catra and Adora parted ways at the stairs. Adora headed left, towards the math hall, and Catra headed right, towards the english hall. She was going to creative writing. She’d signed up for the class in hopes that it would give her a period during which she could zone out, but she'd started writing for fun over the summer, and now she was genuinely excited about it. 

“Have fun,” Catra called over her shoulder, smirking. She knew how much Adora hated math. Adora groaned loudly in response.

Catra and Adora, along with Glimmer and Bow and the rest of their ragtag friend group, all had second lunch. Catra got to the theater department first. She’d been eating there since the first day of freshman year; she absolutely despised the cafeteria, and she actively avoided going there. She had her reasons. One of them being Sea Hawk's regular musical theater performances. She hopped up onto the makeup counter and crossed her legs under her, waiting for someone else to show up. The room was empty except for her and the mess that the first lunch kids left behind.

Adora trudged into the room looking like a bit of a disaster. Her hair wasn’t down anymore - it was up in a loose, messy ponytail. Catra decided she liked that look.

“Hey, Adora,” Catra drawled. “How’s it hangin’?”

“Terrible,” Adora whined. “I hate all of my teachers.”

“Aww,” Catra crooned. “C’mere.” she held her arms out, and Adora all but tumbled into them. Catra hugged her close, not wanting to let go. There wasn’t anyone to tease them, anyway. Plus, what harm was there in hugging your best friend?

“Hey, you two,” said a voice from the doorway. It was unmistakably smug and teasing.

Catra looked up. “Hey, Lonnie,” she said.  
“So,” Lonnie said, leaning against the doorway and watching Catra and Adora carefully. Adora had twisted around so that she was leaning against Catra, and Catra’s arms were wrapped fondly around her neck. Adora had absentmindedly grabbed Catra’s wrists to keep her exactly where she was. “You two finally got your shit together?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Adora asked, oblivious as always. "I always have my stuff together."

Catra couldn’t hide her furious blush. “Nothing,” she insisted. The day that Adora picked up on the fact that the rest of the world was completely convinced that the two of them were a couple was the day that Catra dug herself into a hole and never came back.

“Wait, you mean you aren’t dating?” Lonnie asked.

“Uhh, no,” Adora said defensively. “Why would you think that? We’re just best friends.”

“Sure,” Lonnie said, rolling her eyes. She pulled out a chair and flopped down. 

Bow and Glimmer walked in one after another, bickering a little bit too loudly about whether or not orange juice should have pulp.

“The pulp is there naturally, so we should just leave it,” Glimmer insisted, dropping her backpack and hopping up on the makeup counter next to Catra. “I don’t see what the big deal is, anyway. It's seriously not that bad.”

“Pulp is absolutely disgusting,” Bow insisted. He dropped his backpack but stayed standing up. “Catra, Adora, back me up here. Orange juice with pulp is gross, right?”

“Yes,” Catra and Adora said at the same time.

“Sparkles, you disgust me,” Catra said, taking one of her arms from around Adora to tug on Glimmer’s hair. “Hair looks nice, though. Adora did good.”

“Thanks,” Glimmer said. “Now back to how all of you think I’m gross.”

“We don’t think you’re gross,” Adora promised. “We just think your opinion is terrible. There’s a difference.”

“Nah, I think she’s gross,” Catra said. “What do you think, Lonnie?”

“Huh?” Lonnie asked, looking up from her phone. 

“Orange juice with pulp is fine, right?” Glimmer asked pointedly.  
Lonnie shook her head. “No, that’s gross. They’re right.”

Glimmer groaned and crossed her arms. “I hate all of you.”

“We love you, too,” Catra said. Her arms were wrapped around Adora again.

While Glimmer had gone on her little orange juice rampage, Kyle and Rogelio had walked in. They were standing near the doorway, silently holding hands.

“At least tell me one of you two agrees with me,” Glimmer whined.

Kyle groaned and shook his head. Rogelio just shrugged.

“How was everyone’s classes?” Bow asked.

“Boring,” Catra said. 

“Same,” Adora said. “How did creative writing go?”

“Good,” Catra said. “The teacher’s like, seven feet tall or something, but I like him. How was math?”

Adora made a face. “Bad. The guy seems nice, but he’s a terrible teacher. I just want one year where I don’t almost fail math. Is that too much to ask?”

“Adora, you realize that your idea of “almost failing” is having a B up until the final, right?” Glimmer asked.

Adora shrugged. “Maybe this is the year I actually do fail math.”

“You’re not gonna fail anything,” Catra promised. “I can help if you need.”

“Says the girl who messes up basic addition,” Glimmer snorted.

Catra stuck her middle finger up at Glimmer. She opened her mouth to toss an insult right back at Glimmer, but the bell rang and cut her off.

“Fuck you,” Catra said eloquently once the bell had stopped. 

Glimmer made a face in response, and everyone filed out of the makeup room.

After the last bell of the day rang, Catra walked back to the performing arts hall as quickly as she could. Adora, who had a free period that she spent in the makeup room, was already waiting for her, leaning against the wall and staring off into space.

Catra startled Adora out of her little daydream world by tugging on a strand of her hair. It was out of its ponytail again. She shouldn’t have looked this pretty when she was so clearly tired and a little bit grumpy.

“Hey,” Adora said. “How are you?”

Catra shrugged. “Wanna wait for things to die down before we leave?”

There was always a fifteen minute window after school ended when you couldn’t get anywhere quickly or easily. The kids who walked home had a habit of stopping in the middle of the street. The kids who drove were notoriously bad at getting out of parking lots, and the bus drivers never left on time. Luckily, since Catra had a car, she and Adora could leave whenever they wanted.

Adora followed Catra back into the makeup room. It was empty, and Adora had tidied it up during her free period.

“Did you really clean during your time off?” Catra snorted.

“Maybe,” Adora said. “But don’t tell me it’s not better in here.”

“It absolutely is,” Catra said. “I was just messing with you.”

“Hmm,” Adora hummed softly. She hopped up onto the makeup counter. Catra hopped up next to her and leaned her head on Adora’s shoulder. “What do you wanna do?”

“I dunno,” Catra said.

“Angella wants me home for dinner. She said to invite you.”

“I think I might pass,” Catra said. 

“How come?”

“I dunno,” Catra sighed. “I just feel like I should be home in case Shadow Weaver is.”

“Don’t you, like, avoid her at all costs?”

“Yeah,” Catra said. “But if I’m home when she is she can’t tear the house apart.”

“Want me to stay with you?” Adora asked. She gently nudged Catra’s shoulder. She hated that Catra practically had to live alone, and she hated even more that Catra’s mother was… like that. It wasn’t fair. If Adora could have punched the woman in the face with no consequences, she would have done it, no questions asked. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Catra said. 

“Do you want me to?” Adora prodded.

“I’ll think about it,” Catra said. “Wanna get going?”

“We still haven’t decided what we’re doing,” Adora reminded her.

“Etheria and then the park?” Catra asked. “It’s kinda nice out.”

“Sure,” Adora said.

Etheria was Catra and Adora’s favorite coffee shop. It was two blocks away from the school. When they first found it, the color scheme inside was pink, pink, and more pink. Over the last couple of years, though, they remodeled and rebranded. Now, the inside was bright and cozy and rustic. On one of the walls, there was a commissioned mural of the night sky. It was really beautiful, especially for having been painted by a bunch of high school artists. The rest of the walls were a pale magenta kind of color, and there were no clocks in the whole place for some reason.

Catra ordered her iced caramel latte. Adora ordered her raspberry lemonade (she didn’t handle caffeine well). They stood a little closer than best friends should have, and when they walked out the door, the barista told them that she hoped they had a good date.

“That’s the second time today that someone’s thought we were dating,” Adora said. She was weirdly proud of that fact, and she couldn’t put her finger on why.

“Wonder why,” Catra grumbled under her breath.

“Huh?” Adora asked.

“Nothing,” Catra said.

Catra and Adora were quiet on the drive over to the park. By the time they got there, Adora’s lemonade cup was empty. Catra had barely touched her coffee. As always, the playground was empty. Somehow, no one really knew about this park. Sometimes, there were people playing tennis or a couple with a stroller, but mostly, the place was empty. It was called Lost Park, after all.

Adora followed Catra up to their usual spot on top of the playground. She had a harder time climbing up than Catra did; Catra was smaller and more graceful than Adora would ever be. But Adora made it eventually, just like she always did, and she leaned into Catra.

“We’re seniors now,” Adora said. She said it out loud because she couldn’t quite believe it. 

“Yep,” Catra said.

“We have to apply to college.”

“Yep.”

“Oh, god.”

“Yep.”

“We’ve got this, though,” Adora said, sounding completely and utterly unconvinced. “Right?”

“Right,” Catra said. She didn’t sound convinced either.

“We’re still gonna be best friends after high school, right?” Adora asked. “Even if we don’t go to the same college?”

“Of course we are,” Catra said. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“I dunno,” Adora shrugged. “I feel like a lot of people grow apart after high school.”

“We won’t,” Catra promised. She reached over and grabbed Adora’s hand. Adora squeezed back. Catra’s hands were always warm. Adora’s were always cold. She decided she liked holding Catra’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was mostly dialogue and i'm sorry for that but i really wanted to establish character dynamics and i felt like glimmer terrorizing everyone with her orange juice opinions and lonnie thinking catra and adora were dating was a good way to do that. also, lonnie and that barista are getting something right bc "just friends" don't spent their lunch periods like that.
> 
> side note: i'm not going to be able to update this close together every time. i had some time on my hands this weekend, and i'm really into this fic right now though. just know that i gotta deal with school and college stuff before this. i appreciate everyone who's taking the time to read this :))


	3. little miss perfect

Five days of school and Adora was already exhausted. She woke up at exactly 6:41, when she sun rose high enough to stream in through her window. All week, she’d woken up well before her alarm. This was the first day that she’d woken up with the sun, rather than before it. 

After Adora rolled over, shoved her face into her pillow, and decided that there was no way she’d be able to get back to sleep, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. Oh. Her room was so bright because she’d forgotten to close the curtains. She kept them open during the day because she firmly believed that rooms could, in fact, get depressing if they were kept in the dark all day. Sometimes, though, she forgot to close everything up before she went to bed. Those were the days when she was woken up obnoxiously early. But it wasn’t as if she would have slept peacefully into the afternoon if the curtains had been closed.

Adora resigned herself to wandering around her room, stretching absentmindedly. She really should have been stretching more. Practice was going to start soon, and she hadn’t been as good as she should have been about following coach’s workout schedule. Maybe she could get Catra to start working out with her a few times a week. It would be a good way for them to spend more time together outside of school, and Adora was always more than willing to spend time with Catra.

It was still early enough that everyone else in the house was asleep, and despite a serious lack of proper sleep, Adora was antsy. She scribbled a quick (barely legible) note to Micah and Angella, just in case they woke up while she was gone, saying that she’d gone for a run.

Adora grabbed her headphones and turned on her workout playlist as she eagerly tiptoed out the door. She silently thanked Micah for fixing the horrendously loud door hinge. 

Adora trudged back inside an hour later, red faced and sweaty. Apparently, two weeks was too long to go without running. She would definitely be sore for a little while. It was still early, so Adora recycled her note and trudged upstairs as quietly as she could. 

Later, Adora was sitting at her desk, staring down at a math assignment. She hadn't skipped any classes, so there was no reason for her to have no idea how to do it. Except, of course, that the teacher probably should have been reading audiobooks for a living, not teaching math to high schoolers. All she had written down was her name and the date. She was supposed to factor something. Or find the square root of it. She wasn’t quite sure. 

When Glimmer burst into Adora’s room, she was just about to give up anyway.

“I have something for you,” Glimmer said. “I meant to give it to you last weekend, but I kinda forgot.”

“Good morning to you, too,” Adora said, grateful for an excuse to stop staring at numbers. “What is it?”

“Close your eyes,” Glimmer said, grinning.

“I don’t like surprises,” Adora reminded her.

“Just do it,” Glimmer insisted. “And hold out your hands.”

Adora reluctantly closed her eyes and held out her hands, fully expecting Glimmer to dump some mess in her lap or leave her with a bug to deal with. Glimmer was a year younger than Adora, which meant she was technically Adora’s little sister. And she certainly acted like it.

Adora peeked her eyes open to look at what Glimmer had put in her hands. It was a bright red notebook.

“Thanks,” Adora said. “But I don’t need another notebook.”

“It’s a bullet journal,” Glimmer said. “You turn it into a planner so you can keep track of shit.”

“What if I like the system I have now?” Adora asked defensively.

“And what’s that system?” Glimmer asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow in question.

Adora looked at the ground. “Hoping I remember everything and get it done on time.”

“Exactly,” Glimmer said. “Just take it.”

Adora sat back down at her desk and stared down at the notebook. She’d done just fine keeping mental lists for the last three years, but she’d definitely had a few close calls. Maybe writing things down would help. The only problem? Adora’s handwriting was atrocious. Half the time, she could barely read what she was writing. Why she’d bother writing things down if she wouldn’t be able to read them later, she wasn’t sure. If it would make Glimmer happy, though, she was willing to try it.

Google showed Adora rows and rows of pictures of bullet journals that had clearly been made by people who had prettier handwriting and nicer pens than Adora ever would. Still, though, she did her best to space out the days of the week and write in the assignments she still needed to finish. 

There was a part of Adora that was sick and tired of putting so much effort into school. Actually, that part of her was getting bigger and louder and harder to ignore by the day. School had never been hard for Adora, per se, but it didn’t exactly come easily to her, either. She worked for her grades. She turned in every assignment. She stayed up late studying. She’d managed to keep straight A’s, but if she was being honest, it didn’t matter to her all that much. She did it because she had to for college.

What mattered more was making sure her chances of building a life for herself were as good as possible. She couldn't expect Micah and Angella to do everything for her. They had their own daughter. Adora knew they loved her, but that didn’t keep her from feeling like a bit of an outcast. Since she could remember, she’d always felt a little bit like a long term guest in her own home. There wasn’t exactly anywhere else for her to go, but she still felt out of place.

Somewhere down the line, Adora had decided that she was going to make raising her as easy on Micah and Angella as she possibly could. When Glimmer tried to convince her to break curfew, Adora went home. She always asked before she brought any friends over. She cleaned up before she was asked to. She made sure that she was functionally perfect. Adora had managed to convince herself that if she was perfect, she’d finally feel like she deserved everything that people kept giving to her. She was wrong. 

Here she was, functionally perfect, and she still felt like she was failing. 

Adora spun in her desk chair, watching her room swirl around her in a blur. Her head hurt from staring at worksheets and articles all morning, and she was still going on almost no sleep. A nap would have been nice, but Adora didn’t particularly feel like staring at the ceiling and thinking. Adora was bad at taking naps.

She called Catra instead. Catra picked up immediately.

“Hey,” she said. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Adora said. “Too much homework. Can I come over?”

“Why would you wanna come to my house?” Catra asked.

Adora shrugged. “I’m tired of my room and I miss you.”

Catra sighed. “Come over,” she said, resigned. “But at least help me cook or something.”

“Of course,” Adora promised. “Want me to grab anything on my way over?”

“Nah,” Catra said. “Thanks, though.”

“See you soon,” Adora said before hanging up and shoving her phone into her pocket. She had to admit, she was a little bit relieved that Catra hadn’t asked for anything, because stopping at the store would have meant getting dressed, and Adora really didn’t feel like doing that.

Apparently Glimmer had promised Angella that she would stay home all day and study, so she didn’t need the car. Adora turned the key in the ignition, and jumped when Glimmer’s music started playing at full volume. Adora grumbled to herself and turned off the music. 

Catra’s house was a five minute drive away from Adora’s. It always felt longer than that to Adora, though. Suddenly, the lights took forever to turn green, and everyone was driving too slowly. Adora was always eager to get to Catra’s, even though her house wasn’t always the most pleasant place to be. It was less about that, and more about seeing her best friend. 

With Catra, Adora didn’t have to be little miss perfect. She was allowed to be loud and messy and clumsy. Technically, she was allowed to be those things everywhere else, too, but at this point, nobody expected it from her. Adora didn’t want to risk disappointing anyone. She was so close to graduating, so close to being independent. She was tired of relying so heavily on other people, no matter how hard she tried not to. If Adora was being completely honest with herself, she kind of liked that Catra needed her just as much as she needed Catra. It was the one thing in her life that felt even remotely balanced.

Catra saw Adora pull up and opened the door for her before she was even out of the car. Adora grinned when she saw her, and Catra grinned back. Adora walked up to the door as quickly as she could.

Catra had been cleaning. All of the usual messes were gone. Adora didn’t mind messy, but she knew Catra hated it, especially since none of it was her mess. Whenever Shadow Weaver was home, she tore the place up. She left the kitchen looking like a storm had rolled through - dishes in the sink, half empty bottles and old food on the counter, crumbs on the floor. There were always small mountains of clothes on the couch, and Adora was never quite sure if they were clean or dirty. 

Catra had cleaned everything. If Adora didn’t know better, she would think that the house was always like this. Catra’s beloved black cat, Melog, was sitting on his pillow on the end of the couch, purring so loudly that Adora could hear him from the doorway.

“You brought homework, right?” Catra asked.

“I thought we were cooking,” Adora said innocently. She really, really didn’t feel like doing homework. “But yeah, I brought homework.”

“We’ll cook first,” Catra promised. “As long as you do what I tell you to so that this house stays intact.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Adora asked, failing miserably to feign being upset. “Are you saying I can’t cook?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Catra said, grabbing Adora’s hand and dragging her towards the kitchen. “But you’re going to do what I say and not burn anything down.”

“Yeah, okay,” Adora said, hopping up onto the counter. “So what are we doing?”

“You’re gonna get your ass off the counter I just cleaned, for starters,” Catra said. “And then you’re gonna chop this onion.”

Adora hopped off the counter and pulled out a knife that was definitely a little too big to chop with. Catra shook her head and laughed softly, plucking the knife out of Adora’s hands and replacing it with a much more reasonably sized one.

It took Adora a solid fifteen minutes to get her onion pieces to be small and uniform. During that time, Catra had set a pot of water to boil, chopped up basil and garlic, grated cheese, and pulled out a jar of tomato sauce. 

They didn’t talk as they put everything together. Once Catra got the teasing out of her system, she and Adora worked incredibly well together. Adora wasn’t exactly good at cooking, but Catra was, and that averaged out to two relatively competent cooks. 

The spaghetti was good. Really good. Catra and Adora sat down to eat, still enjoying each other’s company in a pleasant, peaceful silence. They were both more than a little tired after the first week of school. Neither of them really had the energy to keep up jokes and teasing and gossip. 

“Practice starts next week, right?” Catra asked, blowing on a bite of spaghetti.

“Yeah,” Adora nodded. “When does theater stuff start?”

“Week after next,” Catra said. “That’s when we’ll have auditions for the show.”

“Which show?”

“Almost, Maine,” Catra said. “It’s supposed to be this little collection of scenes that all take place on the same night in Almost, Maine. They’re all vaguely love related, which should be interesting, but if we can pull it off, it’ll be really good.”

Adora smiled. As Catra talked, her face lit up. As much as Catra tried to deny that she loved the theater department, it was apparent that she did in the way she talked about it. Sure, there were days when all she could do was rant about this actor or that one, or the messes everyone left behind, or the crewbies who kept forgetting cues, or the techies who thought they ran the place, but at the end of the day, she’d spent three years there, and there was nowhere she'd rather spend her last year of high school.

“Y’know,” Catra said with a glint in her eyes (Adora absolutely loved Catra’s eyes. They were her favorite colors: blue and gold). “You could audition,”

Adora burst out laughing. “You want me to audition?”

“Yeah,” Catra said. “It’d be nice to get to spend more time together.”

“You do remember what happened last time I tried to audition for something, right?” Adora asked, still recovering from her fit of laughter.

“Yeah, but that was three years ago,” Catra insisted. “All I’m asking is for you to audition. You don't have to commit to anything yet.”

“You really want me to?” Adora asked. She was seriously considering it, mostly because of the prospect of spending more time with Catra. That might just have been worth embarrassing herself for.

“Yeah,” Catra said. “I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I think it’d be fun,”

“I’d have to figure out how football would work,” Adora said. She was trying to visualize her schedule to make everything fit properly.

“Yeah,” Catra said. “Sorry. That would probably be too much. Forget I said anything.”

“No,” Adora said. “I’m not saying I won’t do it.”

“Oh,” Catra said, hopeful. She'd tried to play this whole thing off casually, but she'd been trying to figure out how to ask Adora about this all week.

“Honestly?” Adora said. She took a deep breath. She’d hardly even admitted this to herself. She wasn’t quite sure why she felt so compelled to say it now. “I’m kind of over being the star football player.”

Catra looked at Adora like she’d just claimed that dogs had wings. “What do you mean?”

“I kind of hate being in the spotlight all the time,” Adora said. Words were tumbling out of her mouth before she could even process what she was saying. “I didn’t even really mean to try out for the team.”

“That makes sense,” Catra said. She’d never really thought about what it must have been like for Adora. Having the whole school know your name and your face and your business couldn’t have been fun. And now that she thought about it, Adora had definitely been dragged into trying out. 

“I’d rather have my senior year be the way I want it to be,” Adora said. “But wait. Shit.”

“What?” Catra asked.

“Football scholarships,” Adora said. “I should really stay on the team.”

“Adora, you’ll definitely get into college without football. The fact that you were on the team for three years is impressive,” Catra said. “Plus, colleges like when you do lots of shit.”

“You’re right,” Adora said reluctantly. “But the money.”

“So you go to a state school,” Catra said. “You get through undergrad for cheap. You get a job and you save up money, and then you can do whatever the hell you want.”

Catra made a good point.

“But what will people think?” Adora asked. “Do you think Micah and Angella will be mad?”

Catra shook her head. “I really don’t.”

Adora took a deep breath. “I’ll think about it,” she decided.

“I’m here if you wanna talk,” Catra said.

Their bowls were empty now, and Adora was surprisingly calm. Catra’s point about doing undergrad at a state school for cheap made a lot of sense. So did her point about colleges liking well rounded people. But Adora was supposed to be the star football player. She was supposed to be smiley and strong and cheery. That was why people liked her, right? If she tore apart the person she’d been carefully building up since she was fourteen, would anyone still like her? Was it really worth it?

Adora stared down at her homework, head full of everything except numbers and formulas. She wasn’t even sure if she liked the cheery, lovable jock version of herself. Catra was right. Three years was long enough for some semblance of acting skills to develop.

Adora gripped her pencil tighter and looked up. Before she could talk herself out of it, she said, “I’ll do it,”

Catra grinned. “You’ll be the first to get an audition packet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i hope you liked this week's installment of my current favorite coping mechanism! i'm thinking that i'll be posting every sunday from here on out, but i can't make any promises. 
> 
> also: if you were wondering what adora listens to while she runs, her workout playlist is a mix of obnoxious pop music and fun rage music. interpret that how you will.
> 
> i'd love to hear any feedback/prompts/ideas you have!
> 
> see y'all next week :)


	4. caught in the middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora makes a decision. finally.

When Adora walked into the drama room on Monday, Catra was already there, sitting on the makeup counter with her legs tucked under her, looking at something on her phone. Her hair was down, and she was wearing Adora’s letterman jacket. Adora had left it at Catra’s house over the weekend, so of course Catra would show up to school wearing it.

Adora wordlessly dropped her backpack and hopped up onto the counter next to Catra. Catra leaned into her, and Adora leaned back.

“Hmmph,” Catra grumbled.

“Good morning to you, too, Miss Sunshine,” Adora said, gently nudging Catra. “Got anything for me?”

“Huh?” Catra asked, clearly still sleepy. She’d never been much of a morning person. 

“Audition packed,” Adora reminded her.

“Oh!” Catra said, sitting bolt upright. “Yeah! I kinda thought you’d forget.”

“Nope,” Adora said. “I’ll probably just embarrass myself, but hey, it’s worth a shot.”

“Don’t say that,” Catra said, hopping of the counter. “Be right back.”

Adora watched as Catra disappeared into the theater teacher’s office, already trying to figure out what she’d tell her coach. 

“Hey, so, I know I’m one of the strongest players on the team, but I’m really just tired of football and I’d rather spend the year messing around with my best friend in the theater department. Sorry.”

Obviously, she’d say it nicer than that. But that was the gist of it. And it sounded horrible, no matter how true it was. Adora was sick and tired of just doing what other people wanted her to do. Sure, theater was another thing that someone else wanted her to do, but it was different. Adora wanted to to it, too. Plus, Catra had given her options. It wasn’t like she’d shoved an audition packet under her nose and forced her to read the lines. She’d asked. And Adora said yes.

Catra bounced back into the makeup room, looking much more awake than she had when she’d left. 

“Here ya go,” she said, proudly thrusting a packet into Adora’s hands.

Adora took it and looked down at it. The first page was a poorly photocopied picture of the cover of the script. She could barely make out the title of the play: Almost, Maine. Catra watched as Adora flipped through the pages carefully. There was a list of characters, a summary of what the show was meant to be, and then there were scene selections. Most of them were rapid fire back and forth conversations between two characters.

“So?” Catra asked. “What are you thinking?”

“Uhh,” Adora said dumbly. “This is kind of a lot.”

“I know,” Catra said. “It always seems like a lot before you start rehearsing. But once you get it down, it comes easily.”

“You’re not even an actor,” Adora reminded her. 

“True,” Catra said. “But I always have half the show memorized by the time we open.”

“Impressive,” Adora said. 

“Thanks,” Catra winked and flashed a smile. Adora couldn’t help but smile back. 

***

Catra spent the first half of the day wondering if she was pushing Adora too hard. This was pretty far out of her comfort zone, but she had agreed. Enthusiastically. Catra reminded herself every few minutes that she wasn’t forcing Adora into this. She was going to have to trust her best friend to tell her if she was uncomfortable. Besides, high school theater wasn’t exactly high stakes. 

Catra walked back into the makeup room at lunch to find Glimmer and Bow eagerly huddled around Adora, whose nose was stuck in the audition packet. Adora didn’t even look up when Catra walked in. Whatever doubts that had been looming over Catra crumbled away as she watched Adora mumble lines to herself. 

“Hey,” Catra said, draping her arms around Adora’s shoulders. Adora startled slightly. “Sorry to interrupt.”

“It’s okay,” Adora said, leaning into Catra. 

“So?” Catra asked. “How’re ya feeling?”

“Eh,” Adora said. “Not too bad. I still have a week before auditions actually start, right?”

“Yep,” Catra said. “Auditions are next Monday and Tuesday, and we’ll probably have callbacks on Wednesday.”

“Okay,” Adora said. She closed the packet went quiet for a moment. “I’m still not sure what to do about football, though.”

“Wait, you’re quitting football?’ Glimmer asked, scandalized.

“No!” Adora said quickly. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“How come?” Bow asked, resting a hand on Glimmer’s shoulder to keep her from lecturing Adora.

“It’s just not fun anymore,” Adora said. “It’s tiring, and I don’t like that everyone knows me.”

“You know that doesn’t just go away if you become a theater kid, right?” Bow asked gently.

“Yeah,” Adora said. “But it might quiet things down a little bit.”

Glimmer started to protest, saying something about how Adora couldn’t just change course as a senior. 

“Can it, Sparkles,” Catra grumbled, slapping a hand over Glimmer’s mouth.

Glimmer stuck her tongue out and Catra pulled her hand away.

“Fuck you,” Glimmer said, whacking at Catra’s wrist.

“Fuck you, too,” Catra said. “Stop being mean to Adora. She can do what she wants.”

“Can she, now?” Glimmer asked.

“Yes,” Catra said. “Right, Adora?”

“Yeah,” Adora said. “I can.”

Catra looked at Glimmer pointedly. “And what do you want, Adora?”

“Uh,” Adora said eloquently, looking between Bow, Glimmer, and Catra. Bow was looking at Adora with a sugar sweet face. Glimmer was glaring at Catra, and Catra was pretending that Glimmer had phased out of existence. “To quit football?”

“Are you asking us?” Glimmer said pointedly. “Or saying you want to?”

“Saying I want to?”

“Then why does it still sound like you’re asking?”

“I don’t know!” Adora said, tossing her hands up and accidentally sending the audition packet flying. Catra picked it up and set it carefully back into Adora’s lap. “I wanna quit football, okay?”

“What’s this about quitting football?” asked a very sad voice from the doorway.

Catra’s and Adora’s heads immediately snapped up, greeted with a very crestfallen Scorpia and a very confused Perfuma.

“Scorpia! Hey!” Adora said. “I was just… just, uh, joking.”

“No, you weren’t,” Scorpia said sadly. “I was just gonna come say that I was excited to see you at practice today, but if you’re not gonna be there…”

Perfuma wrapped an arm around Scorpia. “I’m sure Adora has a reason. Right, Adora?”

“Yeah, Adora,” Glimmer said. “What’s your reason?”

Adora fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable with being the center of attention, even if she was surrounded by friends. “I just… I don’t know. It’s not fun anymore, y’know? And I feel like I was kind of forced into it. And being the center of attention all the time is exhausting.”

“That makes sense,” Scorpia said slowly. “I wasn’t one of the people who forced you, was I?”

“No!” Adora said. “Not at all. I was actually really excited to play with you. I don’t really know why I felt forced, but I did.”

“I’m sorry,” Scorpia said. 

“It’s not your fault,” Adora said. Scorpia looked like she was about to cry. “Perfuma, tell her it’s not her fault.”

“It’s not your fault, sweetheart,” Perfuma said gently, squeezing Scorpia’s shoulder.

“And I’ll totally still come to games,” Adora said. “And we can hang out sometime, if you want to.”

“Really?” Scorpia asked, sniffling.

“Of course,” Adora said. “I’ll drag Catra, too.”

“Hey, I never agreed to football games,” Catra said. Then she thought for a moment. Scorpia was looking at her with that sweet, pleading look that she had, and Catra couldn’t be the reason why Scorpia was upset. “But I guess if it would make Scorpia happy.”

“Yay!” Scorpia cheered, all but jumping up and down.

“So you’re quitting?” Glimmer asked bitterly.

“Probably, yeah,” Adora said quietly. “I have to make sure coach will let me, but I want to.”

“Why are you so pissed, Glitter?” Catra asked. “It’s not your life.”

Glimmer shrugged. “It was fun having a sister who was the star of the football team.”

“You’re literally the captain of the dance team,” Catra reminded her. “And you have a whole other year.”

“But that’s why,” Glimmer protested. “Now Adora’s gonna spend all of her time here, and we’ll never see each other, and she’s gonna stop seeing my performances.”

“Didn’t she just say that she’ll still be at games, even if she quits?” Catra asked.

“Yeah…” Glimmer hung her head. “I guess.”

“It’d be nice if you could be a little bit supportive,” Bow nudged.

“Fine,” Glimmer said, looking up at Adora. “I want you to be happy. Just… don’t ditch me, okay?”

“I won’t” Adora said. 

“Promise?” Glimmer asked. 

“Promise.”

***

Adora spent her last two classes of the day trying to put together an email for her coach. By the time the last bell of the day rang, she had something that she was relatively happy with. She held her breath and clicked send.

She didn’t bother stopping by the field. She’d said she wouldn’t be there in her email, so why should she bother showing up?

When Adora walked in the door, Angella was sitting on the couch, sipping a cup of tea and reading a book about knitting.

“You’re home early. How was your day, dear?” Angella asked, looking up from her book. 

“I quit football,” Adora said, before she could talk herself out of saying it.

“What?” Angella asked. “You quit?”

“I’m sorry,” Adora said quickly. “I should have talked to you first, I just really wanted to make a decision on my own, and I was so tired of it, and I --”

“Slow down,” Angella said. “I’m not upset. It just feels like this came out of nowhere.”

Adora sighed and launched into her explanation for what felt like the fiftieth time that day. Angella set aside her book and listened, nodding along. 

“I’m proud of you,” she said when Adora was done talking. “Making a decision like that is hard. And I trust your judgement.”

“Thank you,” Adora said. “I already talked to coach. I’m just waiting for him to email me back, I guess.”

Angella nodded. 

Suddenly, Adora wasn’t quite sure what to say or do.

“So, um, I’m gonna, uh, go do homework,” she flailed, already heading for the stairs.

“Alright, dear,” Angella said. “Dinner’s at 6:30.”

“Thanks!” Adora called, halfway up the stairs.

Adora shut her bedroom door behind her and pulled her school computer out of her backpack. When she opened her email inbox, there were seven new emails. Six of them were from colleges that Adora had never even heard of (how did they even get her email address?), and the last one was from coach. Adora took a deep breath and opened it.

It was a shorter email than she’d expected, but it was also nicer than she’d expected it to be. Some part of Adora had been expecting to be yelled at through the screen, or told she wasn’t allowed to quit, and that she’d be penalized for skipping practice, but coach just said that he understood and that he hoped to be able to see Adora around school still.

Adora pulled out her phone and texted Catra.

Adora  
All good, coach emailed me back.

Catra  
you’re off the team?

Adora  
Yep :)

***

Catra’s phone buzzed. She pulled it out. Adora, saying that she was officially done with football. Catra grinned and texted her back. She was happier about this than she should have been. But hey, it meant that she got Adora all to herself this year. 

Hopefully three years was enough time for acting skills to magically plant themselves into Adora’s brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! so, here we are. this story is going a completely different way than i thought it would, but i guess that's how it goes. by the way, i didn't have the time or energy to edit this chapter, so i apologize if there are any typos.
> 
> also: i haven't forgotten about catra and adora's promise to wear suits to homecoming together. that'll come back up soon, i promise.
> 
> as always, i'd love to hear your feedback! if you have any ideas, toss 'em at me. thanks for reading ! :)


	5. i just wanna shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora's acting debut doesn't quite go according to plan

Adora walked into the drama room after the last bell of the day rang clutching her audition packet tightly. She’d been going over her audition monologue all day, neglecting to pay attention in any of her classes. It had earned her more than a few disapproving looks from her teachers, but Adora couldn’t bring herself to care all that much. By now, the monologue was drummed into her brain so deeply that it could have shown up in her dreams and she wouldn’t have questioned it. She knew the words. There was no question about that. But the acting was a different story. Adora couldn’t quite seem to get the intonation or the rhythm right. And what was she supposed to do with her hands? And her feet? And her face? And the rest of her body? Oh boy. It was going to be a long afternoon.

“Hey, babe,” Catra said, draping herself over Adora’s shoulders. “How’re you doing?”

“Good,” Adora said, ignoring the fact that having Catra call her “babe” made her heart skip a couple of beats. “Nervous.”

“Don’t be,” Catra said. “You’ll do great.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Adora said, rolling her eyes and tossing the audition packet onto the makeup counter where she’d dropped her backpack. “Easy for you to say. All you have to do is watch me mess up.”

“Aww,” Catra said, poking Adora’s cheek. “Whatever happens, I’ll have plenty of fun watching. Plus, there’s always at least two people who absolutely bomb the audition.”

“How’s that supposed to make me feel any better?” Adora asked.

“Because even if you do terribly - which you won’t - someone else will do terribly with you.”

“Or I’ll just embarrass myself,” Adora grumbled.

“No, you won’t,” Catra promised. “Hey, Bow, tell Adora she’s not going to fail.”

“You can do it!” Bow said enthusiastically, hopping up from his chair to wrap his arms around Adora. “I believe in you!”

“Thanks, Bow,” Adora said. She hugged him back and couldn’t help but feel a little better.

By three o’clock, the makeup room was full of people, most of whom were auditioning, some of whom were there for moral support or reasons unbeknownst to the rest of the world. Adora wished those particular people would leave. 

She knew some of the people auditioning, but she didn’t know all of them. Perfuma had showed up, along with Mermista and Sea Hawk, someone named DT who insisted that their name was short for Double Trouble, and a freshman named Frosta that Adora recognized. All of Adora’s nerves came rushing back. Sure, this was just an audition, but she felt completely and utterly unprepared standing next to all of these people who were probably actual actors. 

Before she could get too overwhelmed and start to spiral, Adora wandered into the auditorium, where Catra and the drama teacher were sitting. The drama teacher was a bitter old man named Hordak who probably should have been retired. He ran the theater department like his own personal army. He locked all of the doors as soon as rehearsals started, and he kept everyone absurdly late. 

Adora sat down next to Catra, who had a script binder open on her lap, turned to the character page. She was making notes that Adora didn’t bother to understand.

“Hey,” Adora greeted, trying to squeeze all of the nervousness out of her voice. She was going to have to get good at that anyway, if she wanted to act. 

“Hey,” Catra said softly. “You ready?”

Adora nodded.

“Catra,” Hordak said. His voice was low and slow and it made Adora more than a little bit uncomfortable. “I hope I don’t need to remind you that personal biases must not get in the way of your casting decisions.”

“Of course,” Catra said quickly. “I’ll pick the best people for the roles.”

“Good,” Hordak said. “Call everyone in here. We’re already three minutes past our time.”

Catra nodded and stood up, leaving Adora sitting alone with Hordak. Adora watched Catra as she hopped up onto the stage and sauntered back to the makeup room doorway.

“Hey!” she yelled. “Actors, get in the auditorium.”

When everyone’s conversations resumed, Catra yelled louder. “Now. If you’re auditioning, get your packets and go sit down. If you’re not, leave.” In her normal volume, she added, “Bow, you can stay. We might need you later. And we actually like you.”

Adora could picture Bow’s smile perfectly.

Actors filed into the auditorium, rustling papers and chattering about the roles they wanted. Once again, Adora felt horribly out of place. Anywhere else in school, she may as well have been a celebrity. Here, even though people knew who she was, she blended into the background. It caught her off guard.

“Okay,” Catra’s voice cut through Adora’s thoughts. She was still standing on the stage, pulling her hair into a ponytail. “Let’s get started. Here’s how this is gonna work. You’re all gonna hand your audition sheets to Hordak. He’ll call you up one at a time. You’ll do your monologue. We might give you notes. We might ask you to read something else. We might not. Nobody leaves until we say so, because we’re doing group scenes at the end. Any questions?”

“When can we expect the cast list?” Sea Hawk asked, voice ringing clear and irritating as a church bell.

“Wednesday,” Catra said. “It looks like there are enough of you that we’ll have callbacks tomorrow. Also, no whining if you don’t get the part you want. There’s a part for everyone. If you don’t get cast, you can still be in the show. We always need running crew and set people. Entrapta needs someone to train on tech, and I need an assistant. Sound good?”

A chorus of affirmation rose from the actors. 

“Okay, then,” Catra said. “Hand your papers to Hordak, and we can get started.”

Frosta’s name was the first one called, and she stomped confidently up to the cage. She wasn’t even five feet tall, so she had a little bit of difficulty climbing up onstage, but once she was there, her presence commanded attention.

“Do you need me to slate?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Catra said. “I forgot to mention: make sure you slate. Just give us your name, grade, and what part you’re going out for.”

Frosta nodded. “Hi!” she said brightly. “I’m Frosta, I’m a freshman, and I’m auditioning for any of the female roles you’re willing to put me in, but I’ll be reading for Glory.”

“Thank you, Frosta,” Hordak said. “Go ahead.”

Frosta closed her eyes, took a breath, and slipped into character. The words from the monologue didn’t really register with Adora. She was too busy watching how this tiny, blue haired, pixie like girl managed to command the attention of everyone in the auditorium with simple gestures and facial expressions. When she was done, she slipped back out of character, thanked Catra and Hordak, and climbed back offstage.

Sea Hawk’s audition, as always, was over the top. He practically sang his monologue and dramatically leapt off of the stage when he was done. Mermista surprised Adora with just how much emotion she could put into her words, especially considering how… uninterested she always was in everything. Perfuma embodied her monologue perfectly, and her voice captivated everyone. 

Adora’s name was the last one called, and she stumbled in her hurry to get onstage. 

“Sorry about that,” she said softly. “Um.”

“Slate, please,” Hordak said. After forty five minutes of auditions, he was starting to lose his patience.

“Um, my name’s Adora,” Adora said, voice quivering. “I’m a senior, and I’m auditioning for any of the female roles.”

“Who are you reading for?” Hordak asked wearily.

“Sandrine,” Adora said.

“Go ahead, then,” Hordak said, waving his hand.

Adora took a deep breath. She held her script a little tighter and started to read. 

Adora had hoped that some little bit of magic would take hold of her and all of the million little puzzle pieces would fall into place once she was onstage. But no. She remembered the words. All of them. Perfectly. The only problem was that she sounded like an AI trying to imitate human emotions. And she probably looked like one, too. Her arms were glued stiffly down at her sides, and she could barely even bring herself to shift her weight. Adora was suddenly too small for her body. Her voice wasn’t carrying like it should have been, and the lights made it impossible to see anyone’s faces, but their expressions couldn’t have been good ones. 

When she was finished, she was barely holding back tears.   
“Thank you, Adora,” Hordak said. He sounded incredibly insincere. 

Adora nodded tensely and hopped off the stage, making a point to sit behind everyone else. She ignored Catra’s look of worry and tucked her knees up to her chest, already counting the minutes until she could go home, forget this ever happened, and get herself back on the football team. It wasn’t what she wanted, but it was better than being known as the worst actor to ever act. 

Adora tuned out Catra’s second speech. She was pretty sure there was something about how it was too late to do any group scenes, but that callbacks would be the next day. Adora waited for everyone else to leave the auditorium, earning her a glare from Hordak.

Back in the makeup room, almost everyone had filed out. Bow was still sitting there, though, watching a youtube tutorial on how to make SFX makeup look particularly realistic. As soon as Adora walked in, he paused the video and jumped up, grinning.

“How’d it go?” Bow asked excitedly.

Adora shrugged, tears welling up all over again.

Bow’s face fell. “What’s wrong?”

“I bombed it,” Adora said sadly as tears started to tumble down her cheeks. 

“I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think it was,” Bow said gently. He wrapped his arms around Adora. Adora buried her face in his shoulder and let herself cry. 

“It was pretty bad,” Catra said from the doorway. 

Adora pulled herself out of Bow’s arms to glare at Catra.

“Okay, not the time for jokes,” Catra said. “I get it.”

Adora sniffled.

Catra’s face softened. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world. Did you see that one freshman who held the script right up in front of his face? He was way worse than you.”

“Not helping,” Bow hissed. “Adora, It’s gonna be okay.”

“Thanks,” Adora said. She didn’t believe him.

“Remember what I said about there being a part for everyone?” Catra asked, taking Adora’s tear stained face in her hands.

Adora sniffled again and nodded.

“Wanna be my assistant?” Catra asked with a gleam in her eye.

“You mean like, stage manage with you?”

“Yeah!” Catra said. “It’ll be fun. Plus, we’ll see more of each other that way.”

“Really?” Adora asked.

“Yes,” Catra said. “I mean, I need to ask Hordak, but he’ll say yes.”

“You sure?” Adora asked. “I don’t think he likes me all that much.”

“Watch this,” Catra winked and turned back towards the auditorium, where Hordak was still sitting and sifting through his notes. “Hey, Hordak! Adora’s gonna be my assistant. Good? Good.”

Adora laughed as Catra turned back around and crossed her arms smugly.

“See?” she said. “Not so bad.”

“Not so bad,” Adora echoed. “So what exactly am I signing up for?”

“Less work now that both of us are doing it,” Catra said. “We can make you a binder tomorrow. We both get to be all official. It’s gonna be fun!”

Catra was grinning, and Adora couldn’t help but smile back.

“There she is,” Bow said, watching Catra and Adora fondly. “See? It wasn’t the end of the world.”

Adora shook her head. “I’m still a little pissed that most of the freshmen did better than me, though.”

“Eh,” Catra waved her hand dismissively. “They’ve all been in theater classes since they could talk. You’re still my favorite, anyway. I don’t pick just anyone to be my assistant.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were flirting with me,” Adora tossed back, wiping her eyes. 

“Who said I’m not?” Catra asked.

Bow’s eyes bounced back and forth from Catra to Adora as if he were watching an incredibly fast paced tennis match. Catra shot him a look that Adora couldn’t read, and that was that. 

Adora was now an ex star football player, terrible actor, and stage manager’s assistant. She could live with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late. i've been capital o overwhelmed with school stuff and mental health stuff, but i'm back now, and i hope you like this chapter! i think it's a little bit on the short side, which i apologize for, but hey, it's not like i'm getting paid for this or anything. i'll start writing longer chapter soon.


	6. never be your simple girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which catra decides not to deal with her trauma. tw// discussion of child abuse. it's nothing too graphic, but i'd rather warn people just in case. if you wanna skip past it, skip the few paragraphs after catra gets off the phone with glimmer and adora :)

Catra couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty about how hard she’d pushed Adora to audition. Well, to be fair, not a whole lot of pushing happened, since Adora willingly agreed to do it, but Catra still felt bad. It had been her idea, and she’d known damn well that Adora couldn’t act for shit. 

Plus, getting out - performed by a freshman with spiky blue hair couldn’t have done much of anything good for Adora’s confidence. She’d gone from being the star football player to the kid who bombed the audition in a week flat. Not to mention the fact that this bunch of actors was weirdly talented. 

Catra left school alone that night. Adora and Glimmer drove home together, and they dropped Bow off on their way. From the way that Glimmer looked at Catra, Catra could tell that she was still a little bit butthurt about having her sister stolen away from her. Even though Glimmer still got to live with Adora. Which Catra wasn’t upset about. At all.

The car ride home was quiet save for Catra’s music. Usually, she would have put on one of her (several) rage playlists, but she went for the softer (sapphic) music instead. It made her happy. And it made her think of Adora. Who had been returning her flirtiness lately. Not that Catra was reading into it or anything. Not that Catra laid awake at night wondering if she’d ever get a chance to kiss Adora. Or even tell her how she felt. Catra definitely didn’t do that. Ever.

When Catra turned onto her street and saw a car in her driveway, her stomach clenched. Fuck. Shadow Weaver was home. She was home for the first time in days, and Catra had just been starting to relax a little bit. Now, she was going to have to fix up the house and calm herself down all over again. 

Before she’d even realized what she was doing, Catra was driving past her house. Once she’d turned the corner onto the next block, she pulled over and pulled out her phone.

Adora picked up on the second ring.

“Hey!” she said brightly. Someone’s - probably Glimmer’s - music was coming through the speaker in fractured, scratchy lines. “What’s up?”

“Shadow Weaver’s home,” Catra said, hoping that she didn’t sound as terrified as she felt.

“Oh,” Adora said. More faintly, Catra heard, “Glimmer, turn that off for a minute.”

“So,” Catra said. “Yeah. That’s happening.”

“Are you okay?” Adora asked. The fractured music stopped playing and Catra heard Glimmer grumble something about how that was her favorite song. 

“Yeah,” Catra shrugged. 

“Really?” Adora asked, clearly not buying it.

“Not really,” Catra admitted. She was dreading having to go home. Frankly, she was hoping that Adora would invite Catra to stay with her until Shadow Weaver fucked off to wherever she went again. But that would mean accepting help, and Catra wasn’t sure if she could bring herself to do that. For more than one night, anyway. But she’d be damned if she asked before Adora brought it up.

“Hold on a sec,” Adora said. “I’m putting you on speaker.”

“Okay,” Catra said. She ran her hands nervously through her hair.

“You’re on speaker,” Adora said. “Glimmer’s here, too.”

“Hey, Sparkles,” Catra said, covering up her anxiety with a teasing lilt.

“Hey, dumbass,” Glimmer said. “What’s going on? Why did Adora make me turn off the music?”

“My mom’s home,” Catra said.

“Oh,” Glimmer said. “Do you need to come stay with us?”

Catra stayed silent. She wanted so, so badly to say yes. To turn her car around, drive to Adora’s and stay there until her own house was safe again. 

“Catra?” Adora asked. “You can come stay with us if you want. You know Micah and Angella are cool with it.”

“I know,” Catra said. “I just feel bad.”

“Why?” Glimmer asked. “We’re offering.”

“I know you are,” Catra said. “I know. I just… I don’t know. I’m gonna have to deal with her sooner or later. And the longer I wait, the worse it’ll be.”

“You’re telling me you actually want to go back to your house right now?” Adora asked. “Catra, just come over.”

“Hmm,” Catra hummed, pretending like she had a choice in the matter. 

“Please?” Adora asked. “It would make me feel better. To have you be safe.”

“Fine,” Catra said. She was holding back tears now. “I’ll be there in a few.”

“See you soon,” Adora said. “Drive safe.”

Catra hung up and a strangled sob choked its way out of her mouth. Why couldn’t she just live at her own house? Why couldn’t she just feel safe around her own mother? Catra squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her head against the steering wheel. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks. Anybody could have walked by and seen her, but she didn’t care. Her hands were shaking; her whole body was shaking. She couldn’t tell if she was terrified or relieved or both. She was going to have to deal with Shadow Weaver at some point - there was no way around that, and Catra was worried that the longer she waited, the worse her mother would be. It had already been a solid two weeks since they’d seen each other, thanks to Catra’s strategic planning and Shadow Weaver’s tendency to disappear into thin air. At this point, Catra was an expert at avoiding her own mother. Ever since the first time Shadow Weaver had hit her, Catra had been poised and ready to go at a moment’s notice. Eight years. Eight years Catra had spent on her toes, all but packed and ready to go. To get away from her own fucking mother. 

Catra had known since she was old enough to understand it that Shadow Weaver didn’t much like her. She’d had Catra when she was eighteen. She’d dropped out of high school in favor of keeping the pregnancy, although Catra was pretty sure that was her parents’ decision, considering the resentment that practically dripped off of Shadow Weaver whenever she looked at Catra. 

Shadow Weaver had always had a disappearing act that she pulled. She just did it less frequently when Catra was little. Rather than disappearing, she’d stop by Catra’s bedroom every hour to remind her that, if she didn’t exist, she could be doing something with her life. Not a day went by that Catra wasn’t reminded of the fact that her mother would be far better off without her.

When Catra was nine, Shadow Weaver had reached her limit. She smacked Catra across the face one night after Catra asked what was for dinner.

“I have better things to do than cook for you,” Shadow Weaver had snapped, breath smelling of alcohol. “You’re old enough to cook now. You make us something.”

Catra had run to her room crying. She didn’t have dinner that night.

Catra stopped crying after a few minutes out of sheer emotional exhaustion. Wish shaky hands, she started the car, checked the time, and pulled back out onto the street.

She got to Adora’s house in a little less than ten minutes, and spent an extra moment in the car, bracing herself for Glimmer’s inevitable sleepover suggestion. On the few occasions when Catra had taken Adora and Glimmer up on their offers for a place to stay, Glimmer had insisted on turning into a sleepover, clearly not understanding the fact that Catra was there out of pure necessity. Although, at the end of the day, Catra couldn’t really blame her. She’d never explained to Glimmer the full extent of her situation with Shadow Weaver. Glimmer didn’t even know that Catra called her that. The way Glimmer saw it, it was just a fun sleepover. 

The front door opened before Catra could even knock. Adora was standing there, still in her school clothes, hair tied up into a messy ponytail, holding out her arms for a hug. Catra happily let Adora hold her close. She willed herself not to start crying again, but to no avail. By the time Adora let go of Catra, her face was streaked with tears all over again. 

“Hey, Adora,” Catra said, smiling in spite of herself.

“Hey,” Adora said. “Hungry?”

Catra shrugged. “Not really.”

“Wanna go up and shower first?” Adora asked, shutting the door behind Catra. “You can borrow clothes.”

Catra nodded. “I’ll eat after that.”

“I’ll keep something warm for you,” Adora promised. She took Catra’s hand and pulled her into the living room. “Catra’s here,” she announced to Micah and Angella, who were sitting on the couch together.

“Hello, dear,” Angella said, setting aside her knitting needles. “How are you?”

Catra shrugged and put on a smile. “I’m okay. Thanks for having me.”

“Anytime,” Micah chimed in, smiling. He had the vibe of a happy go lucky golden retriever, and just seeing him smile set Catra a little more at ease. 

“Thank you,” Catra said. And she meant it. More than she could express, even when she wasn’t so emotionally drained that she felt like a walking corpse.

“Go shower,” Adora said, nudging Catra towards the stairs. 

Catra nodded. “Thanks,” she said again, because she didn’t know what else to say.

***

Catra wandered back downstairs a little while later, wearing a pair of Adora’s sweatpants and one of her old T-shirts, both of which were too big on Catra.

Adora and Glimmer were sitting at the dining room table, bickering over something that Catra couldn’t bring herself to care about. 

When Adora saw Catra walk in, she smiled. “Hey,” she said sweetly. “Do you want dinner?”

“Sure,” Catra said. “What did you make?”

“Pizza,” Adora said. 

“Adora, I’m lactose intolerant,” Catra deadpanned.

“It’s never stopped you before,” Glimmer said.

“Shut the fuck up, Sparkles,” Catra tossed back.

“I’m right,” Glimmer hummed, turning back to her phone.

“Yes, you are, but shut up,” Catra said, taking the plate that Adora handed her. It was warm, and as Catra slid into the chair next to Adora, she realized that she felt safe. 

Even when Shadow Weaver was on one of her adventures, Catra didn’t feel fully safe at home. Shadow Weaver could walk in the door any minute, just so she could tear the house apart, beat Catra down (literally and figuratively), and walk right out again. It didn’t matter how many times Catra cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the floors and folded the laundry. Shadow Weaver would always come back to stomp all over her and her work, and until she was eighteen, there wasn’t a damn thing Catra could do about it.

Here, though, she had Adora and Glimmer and Micah and Angella, all willing to back her up. Adora’s clothes were her armor. The house was warm, and nobody was yelling. Everyone was calm. And quiet. And things were nice and clean and pleasant, and suddenly, Catra was on the verge of tears again. She wanted to be part of this pretty little family. She didn’t want to live with the world’s worst roommate in a house that was on the verge of falling apart. She didn’t want to be constantly terrified of hearing the garage door open or a key turn in a lock. 

But that was what she got. And she would take whatever escape from it she could get. 

***

It had been a while since Catra had actually taken Adora up on one of her offers to stay with her. Usually, Catra elected to just deal with Shadow Weaver, but Adora suspected that, as Catra got older, things got worse. After all, Shadow Weaver had been about Catra’s age when she’d gotten pregnant and had to drop her entire life to become a mother. Still, there was absolutely no excuse for the way she treated Catra, and Adora would gladly punch the woman if she ever officially met her. 

Catra was sitting on Adora’s bed with her legs crossed underneath her, finishing homework. Adora was spinning in lazy circles in her desk chair. She’d finished her homework a little while ago, and Catra had always been more thoughtful with schoolwork than Adora had. 

“Are you almost done?” Adora asked. “I’m tired.”

Catra wrinkled her eyebrows and made another note in the margins of the article she was reading. After a moment, she looked up. “Yeah. Almost done.”

Adora went back to spinning in her chair, watching the ceiling twist and turn above her. She got distracted and tumbled out of the chair, landing in a heap on the floor and groaning when her knee smacked against her desk leg. 

Catra looked up, smirking at her. “You ready to stop doing that yet?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Adora said sheepishly. She didn’t climb back onto the chair. Instead, she stayed on the floor, trying to balance her pencil on the tip of her nose. It wasn’t going very well. 

A few minutes later, Adora notices Catra perched on the edge of the bed, watching her intently.

“Hey, Adora,” Catra said. “Having fun there?”

“How long have you been watching me?” Adora asked, bolting upright. The pencil went flying, and Adora dove after it. 

“Long enough to see you drop that thing quite a few times,” Catra said. “I’m done, by the way.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured,” Adora said. She picked herself up off the floor. “I’m gonna go get ready for bed. You good?”

Catra nodded. Her eyes darted to Adora’s bookshelf as Adora headed for the bathroom.

***

When Adora was back from the bathroom and she’d put her pajamas on, she climbed into bed with Catra. 

“Whatcha reading?” she asked, leaning her head on Catra’s shoulder.

“We Are Okay,” Catra said. She reluctantly marked her spot and closed the book. “Can I borrow this? It’s really good.”

“Yeah, go for it,” Adora said, taking the book from Catra and setting it gently on her nightstand. “I haven’t read it yet.”

“It’s about this girl who leaves for college and ditches everything, and nobody knows why,” Catra said excitedly. “It starts out at the beginning of winter break and her best friend is coming to visit her. Which honestly doesn’t make a lot of sense. If I made plans to go visit someone and they ghosted me, I’d probably try to get my plane ticket refunded, but plot, I guess. Anyway, this girl is stressed about her best friend coming to see her since she hasn’t talked to her in months and all.”

“Sounds good,” Adora said around a yawn. “Maybe I’ll read it when you’re done.”

“Since when do you read anything you don’t have to for school?” Catra asked pointedly.

“Since now,” Adora said. “I bought that book, didn’t I?”

“Actually,” Catra tapped her chin, “I seem to remember that book being a birthday present last year.”

“Oh,” Adora said. “Yeah, I guess it was.”

“Thought so,” Catra said, tugging the blankets up around her and cuddling into Adora’s side.

“Bedtime,” Adora said, wrapping her arm around Catra and holding her close. Catra tensed for a moment, and Adora almost pulled her arm away, but Catra relaxed and scooted closer.

“Bedtime,” Catra agreed. When Adora actually went quiet, she jokingly added, “And you’re not even gonna kiss me goodnight?”

Adora’s eyes flew open and her cheeks went hot. Why was she blushing? Could Catra see her blushing? No, it was too dark for that.

“Do you… do you want me to kiss you goodnight?” she asked.

“Uh,” Catra said. “Sure?”

“Okay,” Adora said. Heart racing, she pressed a gentle kiss to Catra’s forehead. “Goodnight.”

Catra sighed gently. “Goodnight, Adora.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes wanting a goodnight kiss from your best friend is very completely platonic. getting flustered over kissing your best friend's forehead is very completely normal and platonic. no lesbian feelings here. none at all. definitely not. 
> 
> anyway thank u for reading! also, bonus points to you if you know any or all of the songs i'm getting my chapter titles from


	7. maybe you're the reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which glimmer and bow work their magic and adora (finally) has a realization

Adora woke up with Catra all but laying on top of her. Catra’s hair was in Adora’s face and her arms were wrapped tightly around her. Even though Adora wasn’t all that comfortable, she couldn’t bring herself to move. Her alarm hadn’t gone off yet, and she wanted to let Catra sleep. Catra hardly ever slept well anyway. Who was Adora to take a good night’s sleep away from her best friend?

She really did need to get Catra’s hair out of her face, though. Gently, Adora pushed Catra’s wild hair away from her face. It was soft. Adora ran her fingers through it. Having someone play with your hair was a nice way to wake up, right? Yeah. Adora kept going, careful to avoid the many knots so as not to wake Catra up. She slept like the dead, though, and when Adora’s alarm went off, Catra grumbled and flopped off of Adora, still asleep. 

“Uhh, Catra?” Adora asked, rolling over to face Catra, whose eyes were shut tightly. “Catra?”

“What?” Catra groaned, flinging an arm over her face.

“We have to get up,” Adora said, nudging Catra.

“Don’t wanna.”

“You’ve gotta.”

“Don’t want to.”

“Fine, I’ll get up first,” Adora said, but when she tried to sit up, Catra’s arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her right back down. Adora yelped and laughed. “Catra!”

“Adora.”

Adora stopped protesting and leaned back into Catra. Catra happily curled into Adora’s side, and Adora went back to playing with her hair. She’d all but forgotten about school when her bedroom door burst open.

“Ha!” Glimmer cried. “Oh, you’re not doing anything. Wait, what are you doing?”

“Uhh,” Adora said, wondering how she was going to justify being this late. “Sleeping?”

“No, you’re not,” Glimmer said, bracing a hand on her hip. 

“I was trying to,” Catra said, voice muffled by a pillow.

“Nobody cares,” Glimmer said. “Anyway, I’m finally ready before you.”

“Okay,” Adora said. “But we got to sleep in, so.”

“Yeah, but now we’re both gonna be late.”

“Again, nobody cares,” Catra grumbled. “How important is school anyway?”

“For you right now?” Adora asked. “Pretty important.”

“She’s got a point,” Glimmer said, adjusting one of her little ponytails. 

“Eh, I’m all but done with high school,” Catra said, finally sitting up and waving a hand.

“Oh, did I miss the part where you submitted your college apps?” Glimmer asked.

“Shut up, Sparkles,” Catra said, glaring at Glimmer.

“Hey, be nice,” Adora said, wrapping an arm around Catra.

“Anyway,” Glimmer said, leaning against the doorframe. “I don’t know what the fuck you two are doing, but I doubt mom and dad will be happy about you both staying home.”

“You’re right,” Adora said. “I don’t like it but you’re right.”

“I know,” Glimmer grinned. “I’m gonna go now. I wanna be on time for once.”

“What time is it?” Adora asked.

Glimmer pulled her phone out of her pocket and glanced down. “7:00.”

“Shit,” Catra groaned. “We’ve gotta go.”

“I know, I know,” Adora said. “You’re the one who didn’t wanna get up in the first place.”

“I know,” Catra smirked. “But it wasn’t exactly hard to get you to stay in bed.”

Adora felt herself blush. She looked away from Catra as quickly as she could, only to lock eyes with Glimmer, who had her hands on her hips and a glint in her eye. 

“I’ll leave you two to… whatever you’re doing,” Glimmer said, turning on her heel. “See you at lunch.”

“We’re not doing anything,” Adora whined at a closed door.

Catra mumbled something and Adora snapped back around to look at her.

“What?” she asked.

“Hmm, nothing,” Catra said. “Just that we should really get up.”

“Oh, now you don’t wanna be late.”

“I don’t care about that,” Catra said. “But I know you probably do. So, up we go, princess.”

“Princess?” Adora asked. “Really?”

“Really,” Catra said. “What? Are you complaining?”

“I guess not,” Adora said. “Babe.”

“What?” Catra asked, barely fighting back an amused grin.

“I was just… I mean. Um. I just thought, uh,” Adora stumbled. Her cheeks were bright red. “I wanted to give you a nickname.”

“Oh,” Catra said. “Well, in that case, babe works just fine.”

***

“So,” Glimmer said, adjusting the rear view mirror. She and Adora were driving Bow home now that all of them were done with school and practice and callbacks, “Got anything to talk about?”

Adora said nothing. This was how Glimmer started conversations when she wanted to get something out of Adora. Usually, though, Adora knew exactly what Glimmer wanted from her. This time, she had no idea.

“Yeah, Adora,” Bow piped up from the backseat. He and Glimmer exchanged a look before fixing their eyes right on Adora. “Got any news?”

“Nope,” Adora said. “Nothing new. How about you two?”

“Sea Hawk finally agreed to give me voice lessons,” Bow said. “But other than that, no. Glimmer?”

“What?” Glimmer asked.

“Got any news?”

“Oh, um, no,” Glimmer said. “Anyway, this is supposed to be Adora’s time to talk.”

“But I don’t have anything to talk about,” Adora said. She looked frantically back and forth between Bow and Glimmer, trying to read their faces. Unfortunately, both of them were far too good at hiding their thoughts.

“Are you sure?” Bow asked. Adora was fairly certain the question was directed at her, but he was looking right at Glimmer.

“I’m, uh, yeah, I’m sure,” Adora said.

“Okay,” Glimmer said. “Here’s the thing.”

“What?” Adora sighed. What fun new thing had the two of them come up with now? 

“You and Catra,” Bow said. He was trying to be gentle, Adora could tell, but she still had no idea what Bow and Glimmer were trying to get at.

“What about us?” Adora asked. Her cheeks were suddenly hot, and she hoped she wasn’t as red in the face as she felt.

“Bow, she’s blushing,” Glimmer hissed.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Bow whispered back. “She’s just like that sometimes.”

“No, she’s not. She’s hiding something,” Glimmer insisted.

“I can hear you,” Adora reminded her friends. “What about me and Catra? She’s my best friend. She’s your friend, too. You don’t suddenly have a problem with her, do you?”

“No, no,” Glimmer reassured her. “Of course not.”

“We’ve just noticed,” Bow started. “That you two have been awfully… flirty.”

“What?” Adora asked, trying to feign confusion. She was well aware that she and Catra had been flirty, but that was normal for best friends. That was normal for her and Catra.

“Glimmer,” Bow said, his tone soft and warning. Adora looked over at Glimmer, who was all but vibrating in her seat with excitement. “Be gentle.”

“Are you two dating?” Glimmer burst out. “Because I know that Catra used to really really like you and she said she was over it, but I never really believed her, because, I mean, have you seen the way she looks at you? And I was just never sure if you liked her back, so. Do you even like girls? Adora, are you a lesbian? You can tell us, you know. Honestly, it would be weirder if you weren’t gay. Have you seen the people you hang out with? Anyway, it would just make a lot of sense if you and Catra were finally dating, and if you are, I’m super happy with you, because it would mean we could go on double dates, and that would take Best Friend Squad to a whole new level, so…” Glimmer trailed off, finally noticing Adora’s face. Her eyes were wide and her jaw was dropped.

“Glimmer,” Bow said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Too much.”

“Sorry,” Glimmer said quietly, hanging her head. “Adora, are you okay?”

“Uhh,” Adora said, blinking at Bow and Glimmer. “Gimme a sec.”

“Yeah, of course,” Bow said quickly.

“Whatever you need,” Glimmer said. “I’m just gonna put on some music.”

Adora nodded. A moment later, a peppy song with surprisingly soothing vocals filled the car. Glimmer hummed along gently, and it took Adora a little too long to figure out that the song was probably about being in love with your best friend. Of course this is what Glimmer would play. Adora took a deep breath, trying to slow her racing heart.

“Okay, let me get this straight,” she said finally. Bow and Glimmer perked up, eagerly waiting for Adora to finally prove them right. “You’re telling me that you think Catra likes me, and also that you think I’m a lesbian. And you think that I like Catra and that the two of us are dating.”

“Yes,” Glimmer said, nodding. Bow nodded with her.

“And what made you think any of this?” Adora asked. Did Catra really like her? Did she like Catra? Did they really act enough like a couple that people genuinely thought they were dating?

“I mean, Catra flat out admitted that she liked you a while back,” Glimmer said. “But she claimed that she got over it. I didn’t really believe her, but I figured that if she wanted to leave it alone that badly, the least I could do was stop teasing her about it.”

“And you think Catra still likes me?” Adora asked. “As in, she still has feelings for me?”

“Yes,” Bow said. “I mean, have you seen the way she looks at you?”

“That’s just what her face looks like,” Adora insisted.

“Yeah, when she’s looking at you,” Glimmer said. Adora couldn’t help but smile.

“Also,” Adora said, remembering something else Glimmer said during her long winded speech. “What was it you said about double dates? Since when are you two official?”

“Since two weeks ago,” Bow beamed. “Glimmer came over to teach me how to do eyeliner, and we finally figured everything out.”

“I didn’t even realize you two liked each other like that,” Adora said, suddenly feeling guilty. Had she really been so caught up in her own life that she hadn’t even realized that two of her closest friends had started dating?

“It’s okay,” Glimmer promised. “You’re just oblivious to this kind of stuff.”

“Yeah,” Bow added. “We know you didn’t mean anything by it. Plus, it’s not like we were super loud about it.”

“Okay,” Adora said. “Yeah.”

“Anyway,” Glimmer said. “That’s beside the point. We got off track. Back to you and Catra.”

“Do you like her back?” Bow asked, unable to keep the giddy grin off his face.

“Um,” Adora said. “I don’t know.”

“Okay, let’s start with this then,” Glimmer said. “Do you like girls?”

“I don’t know,” Adora said. “I guess I never really thought about it.”

“Well, do you like boys?” Bow asked. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention a boy you liked.”

“I don’t know,” Adora said again. She was starting to sound like a broken record. “Maybe? No? I don’t think so?”

“Okay, hold on,” Glimmer said, grabbing her phone. “I heard about this thing that’s supposed to help you figure out if you’re a lesbian. Let’s look at that.”

“The lesbian master doc?” Bow asked excitedly.

“Yeah, that,” Glimmer said. “Okay, here we go. Ready Adora?”

“I guess,” Adora said uncertainly.

Glimmer scrolled down, frowning at her phone for a moment. “Aha! Here we go. Do you have impossibly high standards for guys?”

“Uhh,” Adora thought for a moment, running through a mental list of all the reasons she’d turned down dates with guys in the past. Too short. Too tall. Hair was too messy. Hair was too neat. Too loud. Too quiet. Not funny enough. Liked himself too much. Oh. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Hmm,” Glimmer hummed. “Okay. Have you ever tried to pick a guy to like?”

Adora thought for a moment. Back in seventh grade, she’d been playing truth or dare at someone’s birthday party. The one time she picked truth, the girls pounced on her, desperate to know which guy she liked. Adora had panicked and blurted out the name of the most popular seventh grade guy. She supposed he was cute enough for a guy. “I think I have,” she finally said.

“Good to know,” Glimmer said. “Do you like the idea of dating men more than the reality of dating men?”

“I think I know the answer to this one,” Bow said.

“Yeah,” Adora said. The long, long list of guys she’d turned down over the last few years spoke for itself. 

“Okay,” Glimmer said. She scrolled a little bit more, mumbling about how she already knew that the answer to all of those questions was yes. “Do you like getting attention from men until it goes from compliments to getting asked out?”

Adora made a face. “I don’t even like it when guys compliment me. It always feels like they want something from me,” she said. “Except you, Bow.”

“Aww, thanks,” Bow grinned. “Plus, I know how to get things from you. And I’ll compliment you without needing anything in return, I promise.”

“Shut up, Bow,” Glimmer said. “We’re so close to getting her to realize.”

“Right,” Bow said. “Back to the doc.”

“Do you view relationships with men as a chore?” Glimmer asked.

“Yes,” Adora said without a second thought.

“Okay,” Glimmer shut off her phone. “Adora, look at me.”

“What?” Adora asked.

“Can you honestly tell me that you feel the same way about girls as you do about guys?”

“What do you mean?” Ador asked.

“She means, if you’d been getting asked out by girls all these years, would you still have said no every time?”

“Honestly?” Adora asked. “I don’t know. Maybe not. But I’m also just not super interested in dating. I’d rather focus on school and spend time with my friends. Plus, I used to have football, so it wasn’t like I had the time to be a good girlfriend.”

“Let me ask you this, then,” Glimmer said. “Do you like it when girls give you attention?”

“Girls don’t give me that kind of attention,” Adora said.

“Oh, god, you really are oblivious,” Glimmer said, rubbing her temples. “Okay. Remember this morning?”

“Yeah, what about it?” Adora asked. 

“Remember when Catra called you “princess”?”

Adora sputtered for a moment. “You weren’t even there for that!”

“You act like our walls aren’t paper thin. And like you and Catra are quiet.”

“Okay, fine,” Adora said. “Yes, I remember.” 

“You’re blushing,” Glimmer said softly. 

“Because you’re embarrassing me,” Adora insisted.

“And what is there to be embarrassed about?” Glimmer asked. “If it’s just best friends teasing each other?”

Adora shrugged. 

“Unless it’s not just best friends teasing each other?”

“We’re not dating,” Adora said. “You don’t even know if she still likes me like that.”

“But do you want to be dating her?” Bow asked gently. “It’s okay if you do.”

“I know it is,” Adora said. She slapped her hands over her face. “I don’t know how I feel, okay?”

“It’s okay,” Glimmer said, suddenly softening. “I get it. I just want you to be happy, and I thought that helping you figure out how you feel would make you happy.”

“Can I offer a piece of advice?” Bow asked.

“Sure,” Adora said, confident that whatever bow said would be genuinely helpful.

“Kiss her,” he said.

“I’m sorry, you want me to do what?”

Glimmer’s face lit up. “Yes! Kiss her! That would help both of you figure out how you feel.”

“I don’t know…” Adora said. “I don’t want to mess everything up. What if I kiss her and it turns out that I like her and she doesn’t like me and then everything’s fucked?”

Glimmer and Bow looked at each other. If Adora was swearing, this really meant a lot. 

“Okay,” Bow said. “Why don’t you just give all this some thought. And if you feel like it, and a good moment shows up, kiss her. No pressure.”

“Okay,” Adora said uncertainly. 

“Do you really think Catra’s the kind of person to ditch you because it turns out you have feelings for her?” Glimmer asked.

“No,” Adora said.

“Even if she doesn’t still have feelings for you, which is unlikely, she does love you. Anyone can see that,” Glimmer promised. “This is all gonna work out. I promise.”

“I know,” Adora said, even though she wasn’t too sure. “Can we go home now?”

“Sure,” Glimmer nodded. “If you wanna talk any more, we’re here,”

“Of course,” Bow said. “We love you.”

“I love you guys, too,” Adora said. “And thanks.”

“Anytime,” Glimmer said. “Now shut up so I can back out of here.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bow said, dutifully shutting up. 

***

Adora trudged upstairs, dropped her backpack on the floor, and flopped onto her bed. She stared up at the ceiling for a while. Her mind was somehow simultaneously blank and racing with thoughts of Glimmer and Bow’s talk and her supposed feelings for Catra. 

“Do I wanna kiss her?” Adora wondered aloud. She’d never kissed anyone before. She knew that Catra had, though. Which meant that she couldn’t use the “neither of us have kissed anyone before, let’s just get it over with” excuse. What other excuse was there that wouldn’t completely give her away? Adora groaned and pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes. Now she couldn’t stop thinking about kissing Catra. Catra would have to get up on her toes, since Adora was taller than her. Or Adora would have to lean down, which she honestly wouldn’t have minded doing. If Catra’s hair was down, she could gently run her fingers through it. Catra’s hair was always so soft, and she seemed to like it when Adora played with it. 

Adora’s heart raced. Why couldn’t she stop thinking about kissing Catra? That was her best friend. You weren’t supposed to want to kiss your best friend, were you? Oh, no. Bow and Glimmer were right weren’t they? Fuck. Adora couldn’t like Catra. Sure, Glimmer and Bow seemed to be convinced that Catra more than returned her feelings, but that wasn’t good enough for Adora.

Before she knew what she was doing, Adora was bursting into Glimmer’s room. 

“You were right,” Adora said.

“I know,” Glimmer said. “Why’d you need to come in here to tell me that?”

“Because I need you to do something for me,” Adora said.

“And what’s that?” Glimmer asked, pulling her hair out of its messy bun.

“Talk to Catra,” Adora said. “Please?”

“I talk to Catra almost every day,” Glimmer said. “You’re gonna need to be more specific.”

“Ask her if she still likes me,” Adora said. 

“Oh,” Glimmer said. “I see. Now that, I can do.”

“If she still likes me, then I’ll figure out what to do. If not, I’ll just… I dunno. Figure it out,” Adora said. 

“Okay,” Glimmer said. “So am I doing this now?”

“Yes, please,” Adora said, joining Glimmer on the bed. She anxiously tucked her knees up under her and picked at her nails. 

Glimmer pulled out her phone and started typing. The next few minutes passed more slowly than Adora thought was possible. She couldn’t bring herself to look over at Glimmer. She didn’t want to know how the conversation was going until it was over.

Finally, Glimmer handed her phone to Adora, grinning like a madman. Adora skimmed through the conversation. Finally, her eyes landed on the two texts that she really cared about.

Glimmer  
so, do you still like her or not?

Catra  
fine. yes. i do  
but leave it alone ok? i don’t wanna get rejected or anything

“You know what this means?” Glimmer asked. She was bouncing up and down, waiting for everything to register in Adora’s head.

Adora’s hands were shaky, but she couldn’t help grinning. Catra liked her. Catra had feelings for her. She and Catra weren’t just friends.

“Oh, god, now I have to deal with this, don’t I?” Adora asked.

“Mhm,” Glimmer nodded. “But it’s okay, because me and Bow are gonna help you.”

“Promise?” Adora asked. 

“Promise,” Glimmer said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> glimmer and bow: so u like her  
> adora: no we're just friends i like her a normal friend amount  
> glimmer and bow: but she called you princess  
> adora: ok u got me there
> 
> god she's such a dumbass. i'm proud of her for finally figuring her shit out, but you bet your ass she's got a long way to go before she works up the courage to actually do anything.
> 
> also, the song glimmer played in the car was manta rays by chloe moriondo. i absolutely love it and i highly suggest going and listening to all of chloe's music if you need new wlw artists (i'm assuming pretty much everyone reading this is wlw).
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed and i'll see you next week :)
> 
> p.s.: i didn't have the brainpower to edit this so please excuse any typos


	8. wishin' that you were mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which lesbians Are Dumb (but we love them anyway)

Catra tossed her phone away, cursing herself for bothering to respond to Glimmer. Nothing good ever came of it, and now, apparently, Glimmer had taken it upon herself to start up the “ask Adora out” campaign. She shouldn’t have said anything to Glimmer, let alone admitted that, yes, she did still have feelings for Adora. Adora was her best friend, and she was also probably straight. No lesbian got asked out by that many guys. Although, she had turned down every single one of them. Maybe she wasn’t straight. Oh, well. Either way, Glimmer was sure to be cooking up some scheme, probably one that involved Bow. The two of them never could just leave well enough alone. 

Catra ran her fingers through her hair, sighing. She really, really didn’t want Glimmer fucking with her and Adora. If Adora found out that she liked her, things would get weird, no matter what anyone said. And Glimmer didn’t quite understand that. As far as Catra knew, the girl had never been rejected, which meant that she saw nothing wrong with confessing your feelings to someone. She needed to get ahead of this. She needed to make sure that Glimmer didn’t fuck anything up. Catra couldn’t lose Adora. 

She grabbed her phone from where it had landed on the other side of the couch and turned it on. There was one new text, from Glimmer:

Sparkles  
;)

Catra rolled her eyes and texted back,

Catra  
please don’t do anything stupid  
like seriously don’t

Sparkles  
and what do you mean by that?

Catra  
you know exactly what i mean  
don’t tell adora

Sparkles  
no promises ;)

Catra  
i shouldn’t have told you anything  
i’m gonna regret this, huh?

Sparkles  
i highly doubt that  
ur welcome in advance <3

Catra considered texting back a vague threat, but Glimmer knew her well enough at this point to know that the worst she would do is demand a coffee or gently whack her. Instead, she pulled up her conversation with Adora.

Catra  
hey, has sparkles said anything weird to you?

Adora  
Uhh, no  
Why haha?

Catra  
no reason  
just, like, don’t believe her if she tells you anything weird

Adora  
Okay? Will do  
Bye!

Weird. Catra could practically feel Adora’s nervous energy radiating through the screen. Maybe Glimmer had already said something to her and she was just trying to spare Catra’s feelings. This would be a better discussion to have in person, anyway. Catra wanted to make sure that there were no misunderstandings. Although, if she did this over text, she wouldn’t have to see Adora’s face when she got rejected. Maybe that would be better.

No. Either way, Catra wasn’t dealing with this tonight. If Adora already knew that she liked her, that was a problem for another day. 

She still couldn’t get herself to calm down, though. Catra turned on her phone again and typed out a message to Bow:

Catra  
hey, weird question

Crop Top Kid  
hey, weird answer

Catra  
can you tell me if sparkles starts planning anything weird?

Crop Top Kid  
what kind of weird?

Catra  
like, me and adora scheme weird

Crop Top Kid  
sure! but i can only tell you what she tells me

Catra  
doesn’t she tell you everything?

Crop Top Kid  
probably!

Catra glared down at her phone. How was this kid always so cheery? He may as well have been putting smiley faces after every single one of his texts. Oh, well. At least she had a way into Glimmer’s planning now. Bow wasn’t one to lie to anyone’s face. Or at all. Frankly, Catra wasn’t sure if he was capable of it.

Catra decided to officially lay this to rest for the rest of the night. She couldn’t handle another night laying awake, wondering if Adora had found out about her feelings. She’d deal with it later.

***

Adora woke up before the sun. She tried to go back to sleep, but her eyes wouldn’t stay closed and her mind wouldn’t quiet down. She had an outrageous amount of time to kill before she had to get ready for school, so she dragged herself to her desk. If she wasn’t going to be sleeping, she could at least be getting something done.

By the time Adora’s alarm actually went off, all she’d accomplished was thinking about Catra while staring at math problems. She gave herself a mental pat on the back anyway, and got to work thinking about Catra while she got ready for school. Had she always spent this much time thinking about her best friend? And if she had, how had she not realized sooner that she had feelings for her?

Adora would have been ready for school in record time, except that she got distracted. Should she be trying to look nicer? Should she put on makeup? No. If she looked too different, Catra would suspect something was going on. She didn’t bother putting her hair up, though, because she knew that Catra liked it down. She also put on her letterman jacket, and made sure to grab an extra hoodie, because she fully intended on letting Catra go home with her jacket. It looked good on her, anyway.

Downstairs, Glimmer was sitting at the kitchen table, holding a mug of coffee with both hands and talking to Angella about a project she’d been assigned. 

“Hey, hey,” Glimmer said when she noticed Adora walk in.

“Good morning,” Adora said.

“You look nice,” Glimmer said. “How come your hair’s down?”

Adora shrugged.

“I like it,” Angella chimed in. “I think it looks very pretty.”

“Thanks,” Adora said.

“Are you sure there’s no reason?” Glimmer asked. “Or is it because a certain somebody likes it like that?”

Adora’s cheeks turned pink. “Nope!”

“Hmm,” Glimmer hummed. 

Angella looked back and forth between Glimmer and Adora, bewildered. Glimmer wiggled her eyebrows at her mother, who shrugged, resigned, and went back to her tea. 

“Stop it,” Adora hissed to Glimmer.

“Stop what?” Glimmer asked innocently.

“Just leave it alone,” Adora said. “I said I’d do something about it when I was ready, didn’t I?”

“And who said I can’t nudge you to be ready a little bit quicker?” Glimmer asked.

“Said me,” Adora said. “Please just leave it alone.”

“Fine,” Glimmer said. “But if you haven’t done anything by homecoming, I reserve the right to step in.”

“Give me until the end of homecoming weekend,” Adora said.

“Deal,” Glimmer grinned. She looked down at Adora’s phone, which was lit up with Catra’s name across the screen. “Looks like your ride’s here. Have fun!”

“See you at school,” Adora called. “Don’t be late.”

“Have a good day, dear,” Angella called.

Adora turned around. “Thanks! You, too.”

Catra was parked in her usual spot in front of the house, looking down at her phone. Her hair was up in a ponytail. Adora yanked the door open, hit her head, and tumbled into the car.

“Hi,” she said sheepishly once she’d settled into her seat.

“Hey,” Catra said amusedly. Her eyebrows were raised and she was looking at Adora strangely. Now that Adora was face to face with her, she could see that Catra was wearing eyeliner and a shirt she usually reserved for concerts. Was she trying to mess with Adora? “You good there, princess?”

Adora’s heart all but stopped. “Yep! How about you? Are you good? You look tired. And pretty. But also tired.”

“Eh, yeah, I didn’t sleep great. But what else is new?” Catra shrugged, pulling away. “At least Shadow Weaver’s gone again.

“Hah, yeah,” Adora said. “That’s good.”

“Hey, by the way,” Catra said. “If Glimmer starts acting weird, will you tell me?”

“Glimmer’s always acting weird,” Adora said.

“Yeah, but, like, if she starts acting really weird,” Catra clarified. “Like she’s planning something.”

“Sure,” Adora said. Was she imagining the fact that Catra was blushing a little bit? Probably.

***

Catra couldn’t resist messing with Adora a little bit. She’d been acting weird all day, and Glimmer had to have some kind of prompting for starting up her nonsense again. She called Adora “princess” whenever she got the opportunity to, earning her an eyebrow raise from Lonnie, a knowing smile from Glimmer, and a wink from Bow. Every time, Adora turned bright red and stumbled over her words for the next few minutes.

But once rehearsals started, Catra forced herself to be serious. Adora joined her onstage to make announcements, which meant that Catra didn’t have to look at her. Once the actors had all filed into the studio theater for their first read through, Catra and Adora were left with the crewbies.

“Okay,” Catra said. “There’s not a whole lot for us to do right now, but I guess we should probably look through the script so that we know it decently well.”

“Yeah,” Adora said. “Why don’t we all read a scene or two and come up with prop lists for those scenes?”

“Good idea,” Catra said. “Lonnie, you take one and two. Kyle, you take three and four. Rogelio, take five and six. Entrapta, seven and eight. Adora, nine. And I’ll do the prologue and the epilogue.”

“Sure,” Lonnie said. “Do you want us actually finding props today?”

“Nah,” Catra said. “Honestly, those guys are gonna be doing read throughs all week. We should have these lists done by Wednesday or Thursday. I don’t think we need to be actually finding props until they really get into blocking, though.”

“Yay! Easy work,” Entrapta cheered. “Although, I should really be going through the whole script for sound cues.”

“Right,” Catra said. “Would you mind helping us with the prop list for the time being? And as soon as that’s done, you can work on your sound cues?”

“Sure!” Entrapta said. “No problem! I’ll start working on that right now. You wanted me doing scenes seven and eight, right?”

“Yep,” Catra confirmed.

“Why don’t all of you come sit up here with us?” Adora said. “I don’t like feeling like I’m above you. Plus, then we can all talk.”

“Sure,” Lonnie said. Kyle and Rogelio both nodded.

***

Everyone settled in with scripts and highlighters, and Adora liked having an important looking binder. The prop scan went quickly, and in no time, highlighters had been discarded.

“It’s been so long,” Adora said. “I’m glad I get to see you guys again.”

“Mhm,” Lonnie said.

“It’s, um, good to see you, too,” Kyle squeaked. Lonnie gave him a look. Rogelio looked down and wrung his hands.

“What?” Entrapta asked. “Did I miss something? I feel like I missed something.”

“Nothing,” Lonnie shrugged.

“No, I also feel like I missed something,” Adora said, looking nervously between Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio. “Are you guys mad at me or something?”

“No, of course not,” Kyle said hurriedly. “We just, um…”

“You kinda ditched us,” Lonnie said bluntly. “And it hurt.”

“Oh,” Adora said. Now that she thought about it, she had kind of ditched Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio for football and to spend all of her spare time with Catra. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“We know,” Kyle said.

“We’re not holding it against you,” Rogelio promised, with a pointed glance at Lonnie.

“Yeah, yeah,” Lonnie said. “It’ll be good to catch up, I guess.”

Adora perked back up. “Yeah! I’m excited to spend some time with you guys again.”

“So, if we’re done with what we need to do, am I allowed to go home?” Entrapta piped up. “I have a paper I want to get a head start on, since english is a little bit harder for me.”

“Of course, Trapta,” Catra said. “You’re good to leave whenever, just let me know first.”

“Thanks, Catra,” Entrapta said, hopping up. Her pigtails bounced as she hopped offstage and packed up her things. She stood up and slung her backpack over both shoulders, waving. “Bye, everybody!”

“Bye,” Adora said. “Good luck with your paper.”

“Bye, Trapta,” Catra said.

“Bye,” Lonnie waved. Kyle and Rogelio waved, too. They were too invested in whatever video they were watching to properly look up. 

“Alright, if we’re done here, I think we can probably leave, too,” Catra said. “Lemme go check in with Hordak.”

“Want me to come with?” Adora asked. “Since I’m you assistant now.”

“Sure,” Catra said, offering Adora her hand. Adora smiled and took it.

***

Once Catra and Adora were alone in Catra’s car again, that weird tension filled the air again.

“Hey,” Adora said before Catra could turn on the car and pull out of the parking lot. “Isn’t it weird that I’ve never kissed anyone?”

“I don’t think so,” Catra said, shrugging. “Plenty of people our age haven’t kissed anyone.”

“Yeah,” Adora said.

“Do you… wish you’d kissed someone by now?” Catra asked. She hated that her heart was beating faster. This conversation was quickly entering weird territory. 

“I dunno,” Adora shrugged.

Catra backed out of the parking spot. “Would you like to kiss someone?”

“I mean, I kind of want to get it over with,” Adora admitted. When Catra glanced over, her cheeks were pink and she was fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

Catra took a breath. “Would you like me to kiss you?”

“Uh,” Adora said. She looked like her brain had just short circuited. “Definitely not while you’re driving.”

“Definitely not,” Catra agreed. Or ever. At all. Why did she think Adora would ever want to kiss her? She was probably straight, anyway.

“Some other time,” Adora said quietly.

Catra switched on the radio in an effort to drown out the uncomfortable silence filling the car. Three stations in a row were playing the same terrible pop song, and Catra gave up.

“Play some music, will you?” Catra asked.

“Any requests?” Adora asked, already pulling out her phone.

“Play whatever you want,” Catra said.

Of all the songs Adora could have played, she picked a lesbian pining song that Catra knew all too well. The title was literally the name of a girl. There was no way that Adora didn’t know what she was listening to 

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Catra said, before she had time to debate with herself over whether it was actually a good idea to ask Adora what she wanted to ask.

“Go for it,” Adora said.

“Are you straight?” Catra asked. She fixed her eyes on the red light in front of her, forcing herself not to glance over at Adora’s reaction. 

“Um,” Adora said after a long beat of silence. “No.”

“Wait, really?” Catra asked. She let herself look over at Adora. 

Adora shook her head. “You didn’t already know? Aren’t you supposed to be able to tell or something?”

Catra shrugged. “We never talked about it. And I didn’t wanna assume anything.”

“Thanks,” Adora said.

“So, when did you figure it out?”

“Literally last night,” Adora said. 

“Oh,” Catra said. “Are you bi? Or a lesbian? Or just queer?”

“According to Glimmer, I’m probably a lesbian,” Adora said.

“Okay, but according to you,” Catra said.

“Probably a lesbian,” Adora said.

“Nice,” Catra said. “Welcome to the club.”

“Thanks,” Adora said.

“Of course,” Catra said. “If you ever wanna talk about it, I’m here.”

“Thanks,” Adora said again.

Catra went quiet. She’d been right about Adora not being straight. Maybe Glimmer’s meddling really did have grounds, after all. But, she reminded herself, Adora being probably a lesbian didn’t automatically mean that she had secret feelings for Catra. Not all lesbians accidentally fell in love with their best friends. 

Either way, Catra decided that it was a problem for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catra: haha adora's probably straight  
> adora: actually i'm a lesbian  
> catra: shit well adora def doesn't like me  
> adora:
> 
> anyways thank u for reading it means a lot to me!! i know that nothing much happened in this chapter, but i hope you liked the horde kids' appearance. i promise more Pining in chapters to come. plus, adora only has until hoco to get her shit together
> 
> also, the song adora played in the car was sofia by clairo


	9. i promise that you're never gonna figure me out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the suit agreement is revisited. and maybe something else happens. i'm not telling ;)

Catra hadn’t been acting different, had she? It had been a week since Adora came out to her, and something seemed a little bit off. Obviously, Catra wasn’t distancing herself because Adora was gay. Catra would have had to be the biggest hypocrite in the world if she were doing that. It wasn’t even that she was distant. She just seemed preoccupied. And anxious. And Adora was worried that it was something she was doing. Was she being obvious? Had Catra figured out that she had feelings for her? Was Catra trying to let her down easy because she didn’t actually like her like that?

Adora shook her head. She had other things to focus on for the time being. Today was the first rehearsal. Well, the first one where Catra and Adora were actually needed. The cast had finally gotten familiar enough with the script to start working on individual scenes and blocking. Catra and Adora were standing next to the stage, binders laid out in front of them, pencils in hand, jotting down whatever notes Hordak called out from his spot in the front row. For only having had a week of read throughs, the cast already seemed to have a solid handle on their lines. Nobody had their nose shoved in their script, and it was rare that anyone even stumbled over words. 

By the time they’d gotten through the first scene, though, Adora was exhausted. She was checking the time every couple of minutes, hoping that time would magically pass and she would get to go home. Having Catra next to her helped, though. If she missed a note, she could look over to Catra’s script. Catra wrote down what Hordak said, pretty much word for word. Her handwriting was small enough to fit neatly in the margins of the script, but it was legible. How she did it, Adora had no idea. Maybe it just came with practice. 

Half an hour before practice ended, Hordak stood up.

“Alright,” he said. “We’re done with this for today.”

Adora looked at Catra. It wasn’t like Hordak to just… let everyone go early. The cast shifted in their seats. Some of them flipped their scripts shut. Some of them even headed for the makeup room.

“Not so fast,” Hordak said. “We’re not done with rehearsal yet.”

Adora drooped. Next to her, Catra did the same. The rest of the cast groaned.

“No complaining. You all agreed to be here. We’ve got half an hour left, and we’re using all of it. Catra, Adora, go find the crewbies and start gathering props.”

“Will do,” Adora said, nodding.

“Where do you want us putting them?” Catra asked.

“Table on stage left,” Hordak said, already turning his attention to his sleepy cast. “The rest of you, we’re doing chemistry drills.”

Adora looked over at Catra as they walked out of the auditorium, confused. “What, like, he’s having them kiss or something?”

“No, dumbass,” Catra said. “He’ll probably just have them talk and get to know each other as people, instead of as their characters. Y’know, so their performances are believable.”

“Isn’t that what acting is supposed to be?” Adora asked.

“Kind of,” Catra said. “But the show’s gonna be a whole lot better if those guys actually like each other. No matter how good an actor you are, it’ll show if you’re uncomfortable with someone else onstage. Believe me.”

Adora shrugged. “I believe you.”

“Anyway,” Catra said. “Props.”

“Do you need us?” Lonnie asked. She, Kyle, and Rogelio were sitting on the counter in the makeup room, huddled around somebody’s homework. 

“Not if you’re already working on something,” Catra said. “Hordak wants us grabbing props and putting them on stage left.”

“We can help with that,” Kyle said, hopping off the counter and looking up at Catra.

“Actually, yeah,” Catra said. “On second thought, maybe come help up. Or, at least pretend like you are. I don’t want you three getting in trouble.”

“Thanks, Catra,” Lonnie said. “We can take care of ourselves, but thanks.”

“Hordak’s a bitch sometimes,” Catra sighed. “Adora and I can probably get this done by ourselves.”

“Are you sure?” Kyle asked.

“We’re sure,” Adora said. 

“Should we at least pretend like we’re doing something?” Rogelio asked.

“Sure,” Adora said.

“Come upstairs with us, and then if he asks, we’ll say you guys are bringing stuff downstairs for us.”

“Fair enough,” Lonnie said. “Upstairs we go.”

***

Unsurprisingly, rehearsals ran close to fifteen minutes long. Hordak took his time talking about planning and scheduling. Plus, he had a lecture about staying on task. He finished off with vague compliments to some of the actors. It was already easy to tell who were his favorites in the cast.

Once Hordak was done talking, it took Catra and Adora another ten minutes to usher everyone out of the makeup room and make sure everything was cleaned up.

“Hey,” Adora said, once she and Catra were finally walking out to Catra’s car. “Y’know what I was thinking about?”

“What?” Catra asked.

“Homecoming,” Adora said, grinning.

“Ugh,” Catra groaned, smacking a hand over her face. “Do we really have to talk about this now?”

“Yes,” Adora said. She flopped into the passenger seat and tugged her hair out of its ponytail. “Ugh, that was giving me a headache.”

“Let’s talk about that instead,” Catra said. “Literally anything else.”

“Why?” Adora asked. “My head’s fine. Plus, you promised.”

“I know I promised, but can’t I just take you out to dinner that night or something?” Catra asked. She brushed her hair out of her face and started the car. 

“Catra,” Adora said. Catra could hear her smile in her voice. “Are you asking me out?”

Catra’s heart just about stopped. She made herself busy checking all of her mirrors so that she could back out. Driving was a good excuse not to have to look at Adora. 

“No,” she insisted. “But you seem to want to do something fun, so.”

“Are you sure you don’t just want to go on a date with me?” Adora asked. Catra knew she was kidding, but, oh, she wanted to say something so badly. But how could she even go about that? It wasn’t like she could just drop the fact that she was all but in love with Adora and had been since they were fourteen. Adora had only just figured out that she liked girls. It had been a week since she’d come out. The chances that she was actually interested in Catra were astronomically low. Adora was just teasing. Just like she always did. If Adora had said the same thing two weeks earlier, Catra wouldn’t have even let herself think twice about it. Why did it feel so different now, then?

“I don’t want to go out with you,” Catra sighed. She hated that she was lying to Adora, but she couldn’t bring herself to fuck everything up. Not now.

Adora deflated just a little bit, and Catra told herself that she was just imagining it.

“So,” Adora said. “Homecoming.”

“Homecoming,” Catra said, grateful for any kind of distraction, even if it did mean agreeing to go to a school dance.

“I seem to remember an agreement that we’d go together and we’d both be wearing suits,” Adora said.

“I also remember that agreement,” Catra said. “Where the fuck are we gonna find suits?”

“The mall?” Adora asked.

“No way,” Catra said. “They won’t have anything that’ll fit either of us properly.”

“Really?” Adora asked. 

“Unless you want to look like a fifty year old politician in a tacky blue blazer,” Catra deadpanned, “I’m sure.”

Adora broke out in laugher. Catra couldn’t help but join in.

“Where do you think we should go, then?” Adora asked. “Since you know everything.”

“I do not know everything,” Catra said.

“Whatever you say,” Adora shrugged.

“We should thrift the suits,” Catra said. “They’ll be more semi formal then. We won’t be the most overdressed bitches in the room.”

“Isn’t that why you wanted to wear a suit in the first place?” Adora asked.

“Okay, yeah,” Catra said. “It is. But now that I’m actually thinking about it, I’d rather not have the whole fucking school staring at me.”

“But who wouldn’t want to stare at you?” Adora asked, leaning over towards Catra. “You’re so pretty.”

“Am not,” Catra scoffed. “If people are staring at anyone, they’re staring at you.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’ll have the prettiest date in the school.”

“Adora, we’re not going as dates, are we?” Catra asked. They were getting into territory that Catra wanted to avoid. She was starting to panic. She really, really didn’t want to do this now.

“I thought we were going as friend dates,” Adora said.

“Oh,” Catra said, relieved. “Yeah, that works.”

“Why?” Adora asked. “Do you have a date you want to bring or something?”

“No,” Catra said. Adora seemed the tiniest bit relieved.

“Okay, then,” Adora said. ‘It’s settled. We’ll start looking for suits this weekend.”

“I never agreed to that,” Catra said, knowing full well that she would be going to look for suits with Adora that weekend.

“Does it work for you?” Adora asked.

“Yeah,” Catra said. “I’ll pick you up Saturday afternoon.”

***

What kind of thing was appropriate to wear on a suit shopping trip with your best friend and homecoming date? Catra was standing in her bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. She’d put her hair halfway up in two little ponytails. She’d also bothered to put on eyeliner, her favorite jeans, and a pretty bra. She figured that if she and Adora were going to be trying things on together, it was better to wear something pretty. It wasn’t that she thought Adora would judge her. It was just that there was a tiny part of Catra that wanted to fuck with Adora a little bit. See if there was any chance that she looked at Catra with anything more than strictly platonic feelings. And that wouldn’t exactly work if Catra looked ugly. She stopped second guessing herself and flipped off the bathroom light.

Adora appeared at the front door almost as soon as Catra texted her. She’d left her hair down, and it looked like Glimmer had gotten to her before she left the house. Adora was wearing gray plaid pants and a white T-shirt. When she got closer to the car, Catra saw that Adora was also wearing makeup.

“Hey, princess,” Catra said, hoping she wasn’t blushing.

“Hey,” Adora said. “You look pretty.”

“So do you,” Catra said, giving Adora another once over. “Did Glimmer get to you?”

“What makes you think that I didn’t dress myself?” Adora said, shooting Catra a mock-angry glare.

Catra shrugged. “You wear jeans every day, and last I checked, you don’t know how to do makeup.”

“Glimmer got to me,” Adora admitted.

“What’s the occasion?” Catra asked, quirking an eyebrow up.

“Uh, nothing,” Adora said. “Not… nothing. No reason.”

“Sure,” Catra nodded. “Alrighty, where to first?”

“I’ll put the address in,” Adora said, pulling her phone out of her back pocket.

***

The first thrift shop ended up being incredibly disappointing. The racks were filled with beat up clothes from the early 2000s. Catra and Adora left after barely ten minutes of browsing.

The second shop was more promising. Catra found a blazer, but it ended up being too tight across her shoulders. Adora found a pair of pants, but they were a couple of sizes too big. She bought them anyway once she remembered that Glimmer knew how to sew.

They finally got lucky with the third shop. They headed for the dressing rooms with more than enough clothing to put together suits with. 

“How’s this?” Adora asked, pushing open the curtain to model her first outfit for Catra. She was wearing black pants, a white dress shirt, and a black blazer.

“It’s nice,” Catra said. It was really nice. Adora looked really, really pretty. And this was under blinding fluorescent lights. Oh, god, this was going to kill Catra.

Adora crossed her arms. “You don’t sound very enthusiastic.”

“It’s really nice,” Catra choked out. “I just wanna see the rest of the stuff, too.”

“There’s really only one more,” Adora said. “And I’m honestly not too sure about it. I think it might be a little too much.”

“Put it on anyway,” Catra said. As soon as she said it, she regretted it. Adora, with her infinite well of self doubt, didn’t quite have the same idea of “too much” as Catra did. As far as clothes went, Adora’s idea of over the top usually aligned pretty well with Catra’s idea of just right.

Adora walked back out of the changing room. This time, for once, she was right. She looked way, way too pretty. She was wearing cherry red pants, a more fitted white shirt, and a blazer that almost perfectly matched the pants. Somehow, it all fit her perfectly.

“Oh,” Catra said. 

“It’s too much, right?” Adora asked.

Catra just stared.

“Catra?” Adora asked, waving a hand in front of her face. “You good?”

Catra snapped back to reality. “Yep! Yeah.”

“So, what do you think?” Adora asked, waddling around in an awkward little circle. “It’s too much, right?”

“Definitely not,” Catra said. She wanted to see Adora in that suit again. “You should get that one.”

“Are you sure?” Adora asked.

“Very,” Catra said. “Now go take it off so I can try my stuff on.”

Catra hadn’t found anything quite as bold as Adora had, but she was hoping that if she could come up with something that fit her well enough and complemented Adora’s outfit nicely, she’d be golden. 

The first thing Catra tried to put on fit her horribly. The pants literally fell off of her, and the shirt was too small to button properly. She had slightly better luck with the second outfit. The pants stayed on her, at least. Still, though, it was far from flattering. She had one more thing to try, though.

Catra walked out of the dressing room wearing black pants that tapered at her ankle, a wine red corset top, and a black jacket. She watched Adora’s brain short circuit. Hm. Maybe her idea had worked. 

“What do you think?” Catra asked, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“Uh,” Adora said, blinking. She was staring. Blatantly. And she didn’t seem to be in a hurry to stop. “You look. Um. Very pretty.”

“I know,” Catra said. “I think this is the one.”

“Mhm,” Adora gulped. “Definitely,”

Catra lingered for a moment longer, pretending to check how things fit her in the mirror, just so that she could watch Adora’s reaction. It was, to say the least, priceless. If Catra didn’t already know Adora was gay, this would have been the moment she figured it out. Plus, she had to admit, even if Adora didn’t actually have feelings for her - even if she just thought Catra was hot - it was nice to have that validation. She wasn’t exactly a confident person. She would take whatever ego boost she could get, especially if it came from her very pretty best friend.

***

Adora was still a little bit dazed when she and Catra got back to the car. Oh, boy, was she going to have a lot to tell Glimmer. Adora had been hoping that this whole suit idea would give her a bit of an upper hand. She figured that, if she could find something that she looked pretty enough in, she’d be able to figure out if Catra actually liked her. She should have known that Catra would manage to find something equally as outrageous. Adora’s brain had completely shut down, and it was all she could do to shut herself up about her feelings.

The car ride back to Adora’s was quiet. Catra’s music played quietly, and Adora was starting to finally understand all of these songs about pining for an oblivious girl. At least, Adora hoped Catra was still oblivious. 

“Do you remember what the return policy was for that other place?” Adora asked. “I don’t need those pants anymore.”

“I don’t think they had one,” Catra said.

“Great! I’ll bring them back tomorrow, then,” Adora said.

“No, dumbass,” Catra said fondly. “They don’t have a return policy, as in they don’t accept returns.”

“Oh,” Adora said dumbly. “Well, you could have said that.”

“I could’ve,” Catra agreed. “But sometimes you’re a dumbass. And it’s a little bit fun to mess with you.”

Adora sputtered. Had Catra been messing with her this whole time?

Catra pulled into Adora’s driveway and put the car in park. 

“Well,” Catra said. “I’d love to stay and talk, but I do have homework to do.”

“Me, too,” Adora sighed. She wanted to stay with Catra just a little bit longer, but she took off her seatbelt and grabbed her bag from the floor. She started to open the door, but Catra stopped her.

“Hey, princess,” Catra said. “I don’t even get a goodnight kiss?”

“What?” Adora asked.

Catra sighed and looked away. “Nevermind.”

“No,” Adora said. “Do you… want a goodnight kiss?”

“That would be your first kiss,” Catra protested. “And I don’t wanna take that away from you.”

“You’re not taking it away from me if I kiss you,” Adora pointed out.

“Do it, then,” Catra challenged.

Adora turned back towards Catra, heart racing. Catra was leaning towards her in her seat, mischievous smile spread across her face.

“Okay,” Adora said. Her voice came out much raspier than she would have liked. She put her hands gently on Catra’s cheeks. Catra closed her eyes and leaned forward a little bit more. Someone was shaking, and Adora couldn’t tell if it was her or Catra or both of them. 

What if she did it wrong? What if she was reading everything completely wrong? What if this blew everything up? 

Adora took a breath. She wanted this, didn’t she? This wouldn’t ruin anything. It was fine. It was going to be fine. She could kiss her best friend and not ruin anything.

Adora closed her eyes and leaned forward. Catra’s face was a lot closer than she thought it would be. Her lips were soft and warm, and Adora didn’t know what kissing someone was supposed to be like, but she never would have guessed it was like this. She forced herself to pull away and open her eyes. Catra looked just as dazed as Adora felt. 

“Okay, then,” Adora squeaked.

“Goodnight, princess,” Catra said. She was looking at Adora with a look she couldn’t quite place.

“Goodnight,” Adora said, practically falling out of the car. “Good luck with homework.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no, adora, catra is actively trying to impress you but continue thinking that she does not in fact have feelings for you. yes, catra, adora's brain constantly short circuits around you and it means exactly what you think it means
> 
> anyway, i'm proud of these dumbasses for finally getting somewhere. maybe. i'm not apologizing for how long it's going to take them to get their shit together.
> 
> also, can you tell i'm an ex theater kid yet?
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed and i'll see you next week!


	10. you're my number one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which our favorite dumbass lesbians finally FINALLY get their shit together. kind of.

Oh fuck. Oh god. She kissed Adora. Or Adora kissed her? Catra wasn’t sure. But she kissed Adora. She kissed her best friend. Sure, they flirted jokingly. Sure, all of their friends thought they were dating. Sure, Glimmer was probably planning something to get them together for real. Sure, Adora was a lesbian. But that didn’t mean she liked Catra like that. She kept saying that they’re just best friends. Catra was going to have to live with that. 

But then, why would she kiss her? It didn’t make any sense. Why would Adora kiss her if they really were just friends? You didn’t kiss someone if you didn’t like them at least a little bit, right? Especially not when no one else was around. Especially not when Adora easily could have just said goodbye and gone inside. Especially not when that was Adora’s first kiss. Oh god. Catra had just ruined Adora’s first kiss for her. Adora probably hated her now. She was probably inside, kicking herself for becoming friends with someone like Catra. 

Catra gripped the steering wheel tighter and slammed on the brakes. She’d almost forgotten about the stop sign at the corner. Her entire body felt a little bit tingly. Sure, Catra’s stomach was churning with guilt, but she’d wanted to kiss Adora since freshman year. And now she had. There was a tiny part of her that had always wondered if she actually liked Adora. If she hadn’t just been jealous of how smart and pretty and popular Adora was. But now, here she was, barely able to focus on the road, because she had just kissed her best friend, and she was in way, way too deep. 

***

“Fuck,” Adora said, dropping her bags on the floor and leaning back against the door. “Fuck, why did I do that?”

“Adora’s saying fuck?” Glimmer asked. Her voice floated out to Adora from one of the kitchen barstools, sweet and bright as bubblegum. “This never happens.”

“None of your business.” Adora called back, snatching her things from off of the floor and starting for the stairs.

“Nuh uh,” Glimmer said, intercepting Adora’s path. She held her arms out indignantly and looked up at Adora with a mock serious face.

“C’mon, Glimmer,” Adora whined. “Just let me go upstairs.”

“As long as I can come with you,” Glimmer said, leaving her arms stretched out so that Adora couldn’t pass by her. “And you tell me why you’re swearing.”

“No,” Adora said, feeling her cheeks heat up.

“You’re blushing,” Glimmer said accusingly, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not,” Adora insisted, pressing her free hand to her cheek. It was definitely warm.

“Yes you are,” Glimmer sang. “Is this Catra related? This seems like it might be Catra related.”

Adora looked anywhere but at Glimmer. Glimmer knew her too well, and if she met her eyes, she would give everything away. The last thing she needed right now was Glimmer’s poking and prodding and teasing. Adora hung her head, resigned.

“Fine, yeah, it’s Catra related,” Adora said quietly. Before Glimmer could butt in, Adora added, “But you can’t tease me about this. Seriously.”

“Okay,” Glimmer said, finally lowering her arms. “I won’t.”

“I kissed her,” Adora mumbled.

“You kissed her?” Glimmer cried. “Really?”

“Why would I lie about that?” Adora asked.

Glimmer shrugged. “Why are you acting like this is a bad thing?”

“Because Catra clearly didn’t think of it like that,” Adora said. “It was just a joke.”

Glimmer didn’t say anything. She took the bags from Adora’s hands and wrapped her arms around Adora. 

“Okay,” she said, pulling away from the hug. “You get to be sad until we get upstairs, and then I’m going to give you a comprehensive list of all the reasons why you shouldn’t be sad about this. I’ll even get Bow over here.”

“Okay,” Adora said hesitantly. Glimmer was already pulling out her phone to text Bow.

No less than fifteen minutes later, Glimmer, Bow, and Adora were all sitting on Adora’s bed. Glimmer’s legs were draped over Bow’s lap, and their hands were not-so-subtly twisted together. Adora sat across from them, legs tucked underneath her, fidgeting anxiously with a broken pen.

“Okay,” Glimmer said. “Enough being sad.”

“No,” Adora grumbled, not looking up. “Lemme be sad.”

“Hey, you promised,” Glimmer reminded her.

“I didn’t promise anything,” Adora said.

Glimmer sighed and turned to Bow. “She said fuck.”

Bow gasped. “You swore?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, shrugging. “I’m allowed to swear, right?”

“Sure, but, like, you never do it,” Glimmer said.

“Unless you’re actually upset,” Bow chimed in. “So what’re you upset about?”

Adora just hummed softly, waiting for Glimmer to fill in the blanks. She didn’t feel like making this easy for her friends. As awful as she felt about it, she fully intended to let their pep talk to in one ear and out the other. It was all bound to be bullshit, anyway. No matter what Catra told Glimmer, she didn’t see Adora the way that Adora saw her. Adora was always going to be a joke to her, and she was just going to have to learn to live with it.

“She kissed Catra,” Glimmer said a little too enthusiastically.

Bow’s face lit up. “Then why do you look like you just failed a class? That’s good!”

Adora shrugged. “It was more of a joke than anything.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t,” Glimmer said. “I’m sure Catra’s freaking out just as much as you are.”

“No, she’s not,” Adora insisted. “It was just a joke.”

“Adora,” Glimmer said firmly. “If I know anything about Catra, I know that she cares about you.”

“Yeah, as a friend,” Adora muttered, cutting Glimmer off.

“Let me finish. I know that she cares about you - a lot. And she wouldn’t kiss you as a joke. Especially not when there’s the possibility of you having feelings for her.”

“But as far as she’s concerned, that’s not a possibility,” Adora said. “Unless I’m really fucking awful at hiding my feelings.”

“Well…” Bow said, exchanging a glance with Glimmer.

“What?” Adora asked.

“You kind of are,” Bow said. “Just a little.”

“No, I’m not,” Adora insisted.

“Okay, maybe you’re good at hiding your feelings from yourself,” Glimmer said. “But they’re pretty damn obvious to the rest of us.”

Adora sputtered, looking back and forth between her friends, neither of whom seemed to be joking.

“Adora, we knew you were a lesbian before you did,” Glimmer reminded her.

“That’s just because neither of you are straight,” Adora said. “Would a straight person know I’m gay?”

“Well, you were on the football team for three years,” Bow said. “I don’t know any straight girls who play football.”

“We’re getting off track,” Glimmer said. 

“Yes,” Bow agreed. “Back to Catra.”

“And how Adora kissed her.”

“Please don’t remind me,” Adora groaned, flopping back onto her pillows.

“Did you not want to kiss her?” Bow asked.

“No, I did, just…” Adora trailed off, unsure how to vocalize what she was feeling. It made sense in her head, but it appeared more as a jumble of colors and sounds and abstract ideas rather than words she could say aloud.

“What?” Bow asked gently.

“I don’t know,” Adora said. She felt tears pricking at her eyes, and she willed herself not to cry. She’d cried in front of Glimmer and Bow before, but she really, really hated doing it. This didn’t warrant tears.

“Hey,” Glimmer said, finally realizing just how upset Adora was. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Adora said. “I don’t know. I just. I dunno.” 

“Yes, you do,” Glimmer pressed.

Adora squeezed her eyes shut, partially to hold back the tears that were getting closer and closer to falling, and partially to try and collect her thoughts. She was so sure of how she felt, of what she wanted, but try as she might, she just couldn’t put words to it. It was sitting heavily on her chest, weighing her down in an incredibly unpleasant way. It felt like the way that moldy fruit smelled and the way that babies crying in stores made your chest ache. It felt like a knife that was too dull to properly cut through anything and a math problem that she was supposed to understand but just couldn’t work out. It felt like moldy apples falling from a tree. But she couldn’t say any of that, because it would have sounded insane. The best she could come up with was, “It just feels bad.”

“Clearly,” Glimmer said. “But why?”

“I don’t know,” Adora insisted. She did know.

“You kissed the girl you’ve been wanting to kiss,” Bow said. “You know for a fact that she likes you. Or, at the very least, used to.”

“I know,” Adora said, because she did know. She should have been happy. She knew that. She just couldn’t shake this sinking feeling that, no matter what she did, she and Catra would never click like she wanted them to. Or that Catra was only friends with her because she’d had a little kid crush on her and it was just easier to stay friends than to drift away. Or that, even if everything did somehow work out, that Adora would never be able to shake the feeling that she just didn’t deserve it. 

“What are you thinking?” Bow asked, reaching for Adora’s hand. Adora took it gratefully. “And don’t say you don’t know.”

“Give me a second,” Adora said, sitting up and forcing a little smile.

Bow and Glimmer nodded.

“Okay,” Adora said. “Lemme try to make this make sense.”

“Go for it,” Glimmer said. Bow nodded.

“I think I’m just scared,” Adora started. Oh. Already, this felt awful. “I know that Catra probably has feelings for me, and I know that even if she doesn’t, we’d still be friends. But I feel like I’m not supposed to get to be happy with her. Or, like, she’ll realize that I’m too much and just… leave.”

Bow and Glimmer looked at Adora in a way that made Adora’s skin crawl. She knew that they were trying to be understanding. That they were trying to figure out how to respond in a way that told her she was being ridiculous without making her feel like she was being ridiculous.

“That’s ridiculous,” Glimmer finally said.

“Glimmer,” Bow chided, gently whacking her arm.

“What?” Glimmer asked. “It’s true.”

“You could be more gentle about it.”

Adora hugged her knees to her chest, waiting for Glimmer and Bow to remember that they were supposed to be giving her advice, not bickering over how best to give her advice.

“Sorry,” Bow said, looking over at Adora.

“It’s okay,” Adora said. She was still kind of on the verge of tears. She really just wanted to be alone. Or go on a run. Or something. Anything that would get her away from advice that she didn’t want. Anything that would get her away from her friends’ gentleness and understanding. What Adora really wanted was for someone to tell her that she was right. That she didn’t deserve Catra. That she deserved to just sit alone in a dark room until she figured out a way to be useful. She hated being picked apart by Bow and Glimmer. She hated this. “Can I just be alone for a bit?”

Bow and Glimmer looked at each other.

“If you promise to actually do something about this and stop feeling sorry for yourself by tonight,” Glimmer said.

“Fine,” Adora said. Anything to be alone. 

“We’ll be in my room when you’re ready,” Glimmer said. Adora nodded, watching as she and Bow shut the door behind them.

As soon as Adora was alone, she started to cry. Everything felt wrong. She’d completely fucked up her friendship with Catra. She’d pushed Bow and Glimmer out. Everything was wrong, and it was all her fault.

***

Catra spend almost an hour trying to type out a text to Adora. None of them felt right. Catra couldn’t find the right words, and honestly? She wasn’t sure what she even wanted to say. Would it be better to just confess to Adora and go from there? Or would it be better to deny everything and pretend like none of it existed? 

Eventually, Catra settled on sending absolutely nothing. She laid on the floor, staring up and the ceiling, letting music lull her into a false sense of calm. 

But as time went on, she got antsy. She couldn’t lay on the floor and do nothing anymore. She checked her phone again. Nothing from Adora. There were several messages from Glimmer and Bow, though. They’d started a group chat titled Cheer Up Adora.

Glimmer  
okay, so adora’s sad and we need to fix it

Bow  
catra please answer your phone

Glimmer  
catra  
hey  
catra  
answer your phone  
say nothing if you love adora

Bow  
we’re trying to get her to answer us, not ignore us

Glimmer  
right  
say something if you love adora

Catra sighed. Of course Bow and Glimmer would do this. She knew it wasn’t meant as a guilt trip, but it felt a little bit like one. She was really the only reason why Adora could possibly have been upset.

Catra  
something

Glimmer  
ha! gotcha 

Catra  
yeah, i’m not admitting anything new

Glimmer  
sure

Bow  
okay, so adora’s upset  
and you need to tell her that there’s nothing for her to be upset about

Glimmer  
and that you’re in love with her and that kissing her wasn’t a joke  
so that you two can start dating and put us out of our misery already

Catra  
wait she thinks that was a joke?

Glimmer  
yeah, she’s currently in her room being Upset about it

Catra  
why?

Glimmer  
c’mon

Catra  
what?

Bow  
wait, have you seriously not figured it out?

Catra  
figured what out?

Glimmer  
should we tell her?

Catra  
tell me what???

Bow  
i don’t think it’s our place

Catra  
tell me what????

Glimmer  
pls just call adora and don’t hang up until you two have fixed your shit

Catra fought the urge to fling her phone across the room. Instead, she tossed it onto the couch and ran her fingers through her hair. She had a few options here. 

One: she could just not call Adora. That didn’t seem like a great idea though, considering she was the reason Adora was supposedly upset. 

Two: she could call Adora and try to cheer her up. She wasn’t really in the mood for this discussion anyway, and she doubted Adora was either. Plus, if Adora didn’t feel the way that Bow and Glimmer seemed to be implying, Catra wasn’t about to fuck everything up and let her feelings out of the bag. 

Three: she could call Adora and do what Glimmer had asked her to do. Fix her shit.

Catra’s heart was already racing when she reluctantly walked across the living room to retrieve her phone. Her hands were shaking as she pulled up Adora’s contact. Was she really doing this? Yup.

Adora picked up on the fourth ring.

“Hey,” Catra said, hoping that the waver in her voice wasn’t too obvious.

“Hey,” Adora said. “Did Glimmer put you up to this?”

“Kind of,” Catra admitted. Her pulse was racing in her ears. This was an awful idea. Truly fucking terrible. She was going to kill Glimmer. And probably Bow, too.

“So,” Adora said. “What exactly did Glimmer put you up to?”

Catra swallowed hard. “She said you were upset. And that you thought that, um, what happened earlier was a joke.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” Adora asked.

Catra’s tongue was like lead in her mouth.

“Wasn’t it?”

“Look, I’m just gonna say it,” Catra said. And then she paused. And the pause stretched on. And on. Because as hard as she was trying to form words, she just couldn’t.

“Catra?” Adora asked. 

“Yeah, I’m here,” Catra said, finally gaining back the ability to speak. “Sorry. Nevermind.”

“Don’t apologize,” Adora said.

“Glimmer thinks we have shit to fix,” Catra said, letting out a nervous huff of a laugh.

“Ha,” Adora said. “Yeah.”

Silence stretched between them. Catra was shaking.

“Do we?” Adora asked. “Have shit to fix?”

“Um,” Catra said. Yes. They most definitely did have shit to fix.

“I’m sorry,” Adora said. “About kissing you. I probably shouldn’t have. It wasn’t fair to you.”

“Wasn’t fair to me?” Catra asked.

“Yeah,” Adora said. “I took that joke too far.”

“No, you didn’t,” Catra said, rubbing her eyes. She was going to have to do it. She was going to have to say it. Could she maybe say it and then spontaneously combust? So that she wouldn’t have to hear Adora try to let her down easy?

“Okay, look,” Adora said. She sounded unsure, and Catra hated that she was probably the reason behind it. “If you’d rather pretend it didn’t happen, fine,” Adora said.

“No,” Catra said. “I don’t want that.”

“Okay,” Adora said.

“Okay, here’s the thing,” Catra said. She was just stalling at this point. She knew that, and she was okay with it. “I know what I want, but I want you to tell me what you want first.”

“No,” Adora said.

“Why not?” Catra asked.

“Because what I want doesn’t really matter.”

“Of course it does,” Catra said, voice softening. She could have sworn that she felt her heart break a little bit.

“I dunno,” Adora said.

“C’mon,” Catra said. “Yes you do.”

Adora didn’t say anything. Catra could feel her nervous energy radiating through the phone. 

“What do you want, Adora?” Catra asked gently. She already knew Adora’s answer. She hoped she knew Adora’s answer.

Adora didn’t say anything.

“Adora?” Catra asked. “You there?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, her voice quieter than Catra had ever heard it. “What if you don’t want the same thing as I do?”

“Unlikely,” Catra said. “C’mon. You know you’re allowed to want things, right?”

“I guess,” Adora said. “Fine. I like you.”

“Wait, really?” Catra asked. She’d known. Kind of. But hearing Adora admit it rather than having Glimmer heavily imply it was completely different.

“Yeah,” Adora said, sounding more like she was admitting to cheating on a test than telling Catra she had feelings for her.

“Oh,” Catra said.

“If you don’t like me back, that’s totally fine,” Adora said. Catra could hear her holding back tears. “No pressure. We can just forget this ever happened.”

“No, no,” Catra said quickly. “I definitely do. Like you back.”

“Oh,” Adora said. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Catra said. Her heart was still racing, but it felt less like she was suffocating and more like she was floating now. Maybe things would work out after all.

“Okay,” Adora said. “So, we should probably talk about all this in person, right?”

“Probably,” Catra said.

“Can I take you out to coffee tomorrow?” Adora asked. Catra could hear her smile in her words.

“Sounds good,” Catra said, grinning.

“It’s a date,” Adora said. 

“It’s a date,” Catra echoed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bow and glimmer: dude why are you sad you kissed a girl  
> adora: bc she prob thinks i'm a joke ://  
> catra, literally in love with adora: no???
> 
> ok technically it's still sunday where i live, so this isn't late. also, this got a little more angsty than i thought it would, but hey, i'm promising a happy ending, and y'all are along for the ride.
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading! i really appreciate all of ur kudos and comments! i'll see you next week :))


	11. i wanna be with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which catra hates adora's lemonade, but likes adora very, very much

For once, Adora was driving. Glimmer had decided that a coffee date with Catra was more than important enough to let Adora have the car, even though it wasn’t technically her turn. Adora spent far too long staring at herself in the mirror, wondering if it was better to leave her hair up or down, if it would look like she was trying too hard if she put on makeup, if she should wear something nice or stick to what she always wore. When she finally left the bathroom, she had her hair down, but she’d pinned her bangs out of her face. She wasn’t wearing anything special, but she did put on a dainty gold necklace and matching earrings that had been a birthday gift from Angella a few years before. No makeup. Yet, anyway, because Glimmer blocked Adora’s path before she could even take three steps out of the bathroom.

“Nope,” Glimmer said, crossing her arms indignantly.

“What?” Adora protested. “I thought I looked nice.”

“You do,” Glimmer promised. “But will you let me do your makeup?”

Adora sighed. Of course Glimmer wouldn’t let her leave without makeup. “Can I just do it myself?”

“No,” Glimmer said. “Remember what happened last time you did your own makeup?”

Adora most certainly did remember. She’d ended up with eyeliner smudged all over both her eyelids and her cheeks, and no matter what she did, she just couldn’t get the concealer to blend properly. She had looked undeniably ridiculous. “Fine,” she said, following Glimmer back into the bathroom. “But nothing too crazy. Please?”

“But don’t you wanna look pretty for your date?”

“It’s not a date!” Adora said. She was blushing. It most definitely was a date. At least, she really, really hoped it was a date. 

“Whatever you say,” Glimmer said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Thankfully, Glimmer actually listened to Adora and didn’t go too heavy handed with the makeup. When she was done, Adora had gold glitter in the inner corners of her eyes, winged eyeliner, highlighted cheekbones, and pink lipgloss on. 

“Thanks,” Adora said, and she really meant it. She looked pretty.

“Of course,” Glimmer said. “You’ve got this.”

Adora nodded.

***

Adora waited anxiously in the car, tapping her fingers against her thigh, the steering wheel, her waterbottle in the cupholder, anything she could comfortably reach. She’d texted Catra exactly two minutes ago, and she was already worried that Catra was having second thoughts. Adora really shouldn’t have been this nervous. Catra was her best friend. They were going to get coffee together. Friends did that all the time. The fact that this was (technically) a date shouldn’t have changed much. Except that it did. This mattered to Adora. A lot. She’d never been good at talking openly about how she felt, and that was going to have to change pretty quickly if she wanted this to work out. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the front door open. Adora’s eyes immediately followed the movement. Catra was locking the door; her back was turned to Adora. Adora took a slow, deep breath to steady herself. Her stomach was more than a little fluttery, and she made a mental note to drink something without caffeine in it. 

When Catra turned and headed for the car, Adora was tempted to duck her head, pretending to be surprised when the passenger side door opened, but she didn’t. She looked at Catra, taking in her smile, the way her hair was clipped back out of her face, the way her eye makeup somehow made her freckles even more noticeable than usual, the fact that Catra was wearing the boots that made her the same height as Adora. 

“Hey,” Catra said when she opened the door. “You look pretty.”

Adora grinned. “So do you.”

“So,” Catra said. She was picking at her nail polish; she always did that when she was anxious. “Where to?”

“I figured we could go to Bright Moon,” Adora said. 

“Sounds good,” Catra said. “Off we go, then.”

Bright Moon was the quaint little cafe that Catra and Adora had discovered when they were freshmen. The place was so bright and happy inside that it practically sparkled. Before it was renovated, all of the benches and chairs were upholstered with awful pink and purple crushed velvet fabric. Other than that, none of the furniture had really matched. Celestial artwork had hung on every wall: hand painted suns and moons and stars that Adora had always loved. After the renovation, all of the obnoxiously upholstered furniture was gone, replaced with strangely comfortable mismatched wooden chairs. Still, none of them matched, but they were charming. The cafe had commissioned a mural on the back wall: a fantasy galaxy filled with gold stars, pink planets, and purple moons painted so nicely that they seemed to shimmer. All of the artwork that Adora loved so much was still there, just rearranged so that the mural was the star of the room. 

***

Catra was nervous. She couldn’t deny that. She’d tried to, for a little while, but at this point she was just embracing it. She hadn’t been on a date since she and Scorpia had been a couple, and that hadn’t really been… real. Scorpia was lovely, but back then, she hadn’t really understood boundaries, and Catra had been more than a little bit mean to the poor girl. They were on good terms now, though. 

Anyway, dating Scorpia had not at all prepared Catra for this date with Adora. If that’s even what this was. 

“Wait, Adora,” Catra said before Adora could get out of the car.

“Yeah?” Adora asked, pulling the door closed again.

“Um, this is a date, right?” Catra asked nervously.

“Yes! I mean, I want it to be,” Adora said. Clearly, Catra wasn’t the only one who was nervous. “Do you want it to be?”

“Yes,” Catra said quickly. “Definitely. Yes.”

“Okay,” Adora said, seeming relived. “Good.”

“Let’s go on a date, then,” Catra said.

It had been a little while since she and Adora had been to Bright Moon. Since the school year started, they’d been busy. Very busy. But the place hadn’t changed, and when Catra stepped inside, she was immediately comforted. She had to admit, back when the place was bright pink and sparkly, she’d kind of resented it. But now that the pink had been dialed way back, Catra absolutely loved it. The scent of coffee and vanilla and caramel hung lightly and sweetly in the air, and the place was surprisingly empty for an afternoon.

“What do you want?” Catra asked, pulling out her wallet.

“Oh, um,” Adora said, scanning the menu. Catra was pretty sure she could have ordered for Adora, but she asked anyway. “Wait, I’m not letting you pay.”

“Tough luck,” Catra said. “Because I’m not letting you pay either.”

“Fine,” Adora said lightly. “I’ll pay for mine, you pay for yours.”

“How about I pay for yours and you pay for mine?” Catra asked. It sounded weird, but Catra wouldn’t have felt like it was a real date unless she paid for Adora’s drink.

“Even better,” Adora said. “You want your usual thing, right?”

Catra nodded. “Same for you?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, pulling out her own wallet and stepping up to the counter. “Can I get a medium iced caramel latte please?”

“$4.95,” said the cashier with a knowing smile at Catra. “I’ll have that right out.”

“Thanks,” Adora said. She shot Catra a smile as she stepped back so that she could order Adora’s lemonade.

Adora’s raspberry lemonade was as sickeningly pink as the cafe used to be, but it put a smile on Adora’s face, so there was no world in which Catra was complaining. Still, she couldn’t resist teasing Adora just a little bit.

“How the hell do you drink that shit?” Catra asked. “It’s so pink.”

“It’s good!” Adora argued, holding her cup protectively. 

“Lemme try it,” Catra said, holding out her hands. Adora slid the cup over to her. Catra took a sip, and her face scrunched up. “Oh, god.”

Adora tried to say something, but it got lost in her laughter. 

“Yeah, I’m never drinking that again,” Catra said. “Want a sip of mine?”

“Sure,” Adora said. 

Catra grinned, knowing that Adora’s reaction to her coffee would be just as entertaining as her reaction to the lemonade. 

“Bleh,” Adora said, sticking out her tongue, which was stained pink. She grabbed her cup and gulped. “It’s so bitter,” she choked out.

“Adora, there is so much sugar in it,” Catra said through her laughter. “So much.”

“Still bad,” Adora said.

Quiet settled between them. Adora had a light, pretty smile on her face, and Catra was pretty sure she was mirroring the expression, just a little bit more stupid looking. Nobody else in the cafe was talking. Soft music filled the space that neither Catra or Adora could quite bring themselves to fill. Catra knew that, sooner or later, they were going to have to talk about their feelings. She didn’t want to. Well, she wanted to, but she also really, really didn’t want to. A tiny part of her brain was screaming at her to run, to get out now before she got seriously hurt. Her feelings for Adora were scary enough, but knowing that Adora reciprocated them on some level? Terrifying. 

Catra looked down and took little sips of her coffee.

“We’ve gotta actually talk about things now,” Adora said reluctantly. Her hands were wrapped around her cup, which had to have been absolutely freezing. 

“I know,” Catra said. “I don’t wanna.”

“Me neither,” Adora said. “But also, I do?”

Catra cocked her head. 

“I dunno,” Adora said. “I’d rather skip to the part where we have everything figured out.”

Catra nodded. “Me, too.”

“But I know we have to, like, talk about things to get there. So.”

“Yeah,” Catra said. “I kind of don’t know where to start.”

“Me neither,” Adora admitted. 

“Um,” Catra said. She was freezing up. She wanted to knock the table over and run. But Adora was still smiling, and suddenly, Catra was back on solid ground. “Maybe we should start with how we actually feel about each other?”

“Yeah, that seems like a good place to start,” Adora said. “You wanna go first?”

Catra looked everywhere but at Adora. Was that a new painting in the corner? “Sure,” she heard herself say.

Adora was looking at Catra expectantly. Her fingers were tapping against the table. Catra couldn’t hear the music anymore. She hardly processed the words that were coming out of her mouth. “So, I’ve kind of liked you since freshman year. And I always thought you were, y’know, straight, so I didn’t say anything. Plus, Bow and Glimmer gave me a hard time about it when the figured it out, so I kinda just… dropped it. But I still liked you.”

“Since freshman year?” Adora asked, blushing. “Really? But I was so ugly.”

“You really, really weren’t,” Catra said. Sure, Adora was prettier now than she’d been at fourteen, but even then, she’d been objectively pretty. Blonde hair, warm, friendly blue eyes, a smile that lit up the room, an infectious laugh. How Adora could ever look at herself and see anything less than beautiful was lost on Catra. 

Adora shrugged. 

“Um,” Catra said, going back to picking at her nail polish. She only painted her nails so she could have something to pick at when she got nervous. “Anyway, I still like you. A lot.”

“Same,” Adora said. “I mean, kind of same. I didn’t figure all of this out until, like, the other day. So…”

“I know,” Catra said. “And if you’d rather just keep figuring things out, that’s totally okay. Things don’t have to change with us.”

It kind of hurt to say that, because Catra had wanted nothing more than to be able to call Adora her girlfriend for so long, but she couldn’t bring herself to force a relationship on Adora if she wasn’t ready.

“No, no,” Adora said. “I do wanna do this.”

Catra felt her heart stop. She was pretty sure she knew what Adora was implying, but she didn’t let herself assume. “What do you mean?” 

“Y’know,” Adora said quietly. “Dating.”

“You want to date me?” Catra said.

“Yeah,” Adora said. 

“Really?” Catra asked. She wanted to make sure Adora knew what she was agreeing to here. She had to make sure she wasn’t going to be rudely awoken with a slap in the face and an angry Adora.

“Yeah,” Adora said. She took Catra’s anxious hands in her own. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Catra said. 

Adora grinned. “You wanna get out of here?”

“And go where?” Catra asked suspiciously.

“The park,” Adora said, like it should have been obvious. 

“Right,” Catra said. Adora gave her hands a gentle squeeze. “Let’s go, then.”

The park was a little bit less empty than Catra had hoped for, but she and Adora had time. It was still September, and the sun still stayed out as long as it could. 

Catra and Adora climbed up to the top of the playground, squinting against the sun. There were two kids clumsily chasing each other around the swingset. Their parents watched from the picnic bench. On the field, a floppy looking golden retriever ran after a tennis ball over and over again.

Catra leaned her head on Adora’s shoulder, and Adora leaned back.

Eventually, the kids reluctantly left. Catra heard their parents promise something about ice cream, and they got a whole lot more willing to go home. The golden retriever tired itself out and left with its owner, and the park was empty except for Catra and Adora.

The sun was hanging lower and lower, dipping below the treeline. It cast a bright golden light over everything and stretched the shadows into strange shapes. All Catra was looking at was Adora. She was finally allowed to do that, and Adora was finally looking back. 

“Hey,” Adora said. “I’m glad we talked about all of this.”

“Me, too,” Catra agreed. She took Adora’s hand gently. Adora eagerly laced their fingers together and looked at Catra as if she were looking at the stars. 

“Can I kiss you?” Adora asked. Her voice was tentative, like she was asking for something she wasn’t allowed to have. She most certainly was allowed to have it, though. Catra nodded.

Adora tasted like her stupid bright pink lemonade, but Catra didn’t mind it so much when she was tasting it like this. This time, there was no anxious rushing, no getaways. Catra just leaned her head back on Adora’s shoulder, and they watched the sun go down, hand in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we did it!! they're girlfriends!! but, i do still have two unresolved storylines, which means we're nowhere near the end of this. this whole thing took me in a very different direction than i originally planned, but hey, it's going well. 
> 
> anyway, i hope you liked this chapter! writing it made me very happy. also, it's a day early because i'm going to be crazy busy tomorrow. plus, i had this written and i didn't feel like waiting. thank you for reading and i will see you next week! :))


	12. in the game of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which catra and adora go back to being terrible at communicating

Catra was scared. She was fucking terrified. The only girlfriend she’d had before Adora was Scorpia, and that had ended after a few short weeks because Catra had realized that she just wanted to be friends with Scorpia. There were no hard feelings, but that whole thing had done a shitty job of preparing Catra for what it was like to date a girl for real. Everything inside Catra was screaming at her to run away, disappear, get away before she got hurt. She fell asleep each night thinking of Adora, and she woke up thinking about her, too. Most of her days were spent with Adora, too, so Catra was finding it awfully difficult to breathe.

It wasn’t that she was unhappy. She was very, very happy, but she was also scared out of her mind. Adora was so kind, so funny, so strong, so beautiful. Catra still couldn’t believe that Adora really, actually wanted this. She was still mostly convinced that any day now, Adora would pull her aside and decide that this whole thing had been a huge mistake. And Catra would respect that, of course, but she’d be absolutely gutted. 

She was oh, so tempted to self destruct. She could get herself out of this with just a few simple words: I don’t want to do this anymore. But it would have been a lie. A big fat stupid fucking lie, and Catra couldn’t bring herself to lie to Adora’s face, so she said nothing. She said nothing, and she kept almost saying something.

Over the next week, Adora started to pick up on things. She wasn’t stupid. She noticed when Catra zoned out during rehearsals and when she got quiet during lunch and when she left hurriedly after Adora brought up any kind of feelings. Honestly, dating Adora kind of just felt like being her best friend, except now, Catra got to kiss her. She still felt like she couldn’t really look at Adora, or touch her, or tell her how she felt. It was all too big and too scary and too much.

“Hey, you okay?” Adora asked. Catra startled. She’d zoned out again. How many times was that, now? Five? Six? More? Catra wasn’t sure.

“Huh?” she asked. “Oh. Yeah. Fine.”

“You sure?” Adora asked. She gently leaned into Catra, momentarily ignoring the script binders open in front of them. After a few weeks of rehearsal, she pages were filled with highlighter marks, notes, eraser marks, and scribbles. How it was still intelligible, Catra had no idea.

Catra nodded. She gripped her pen harder. They were finalizing blocking now, and Catra really needed to focus. She didn’t even know what part of the scene they were on, which was kind of pathetic because the scene was all of ten pages long.

Adora frowned like she wasn’t convinced, but she adjusted her ponytail and went back to making notes in the margins of her script. Hers looked even worse than Catra’s.

As rehearsals went on, Catra got more and more irritable. She got like this sometimes, when she was overwhelmed. Rather than talking about whatever it was that was bothering her, she’d snap at everyone who got close and cry alone. She was definitely too harsh in her end of rehearsal run-down (Adora had to gently take over halfway through), and she accidentally snapped at Entrapta when she came to ask about updates for tech notes.

“Why don’t you do grab a drink of water?” Adora asked, all too gently. Catra clenched her hands into fists so she didn’t glare at her well meaning girlfriend, turned on her heel, and stormed off. Behind her, she heard papers rustling, and Adora making sure that the tech notes in her script matched the ones in Entrapta’s. Catra felt like crying.

***

Adora wasn’t sure why Catra was acting so weird. If she’d really had feelings for Adora since Freshman yeah like Glimmer claimed, then why was she so distant? Catra would zone out and go quiet sometimes, and Adora would have to gently coax her into talking again. Other times, she would get loud and angry, and Adora would have to softly suggest that she take a quick break. 

She had a feeling that she knew what was happening. This really wasn’t anything new for Catra. She had a tendency to try and self destruct when things got good. She was used to everything blowing up on its own (Adora would never forgive Shadow Weaver for seeding that belief), but Adora was determined not to let Catra blow this up.

Now, at the end of the week, Catra was getting even more irritable. She’d spent five minutes lecturing the actors about how distracted they’d been during practice, and how none of them had anything memorized even after almost a month before Adora stepped in. She apologized on behalf of Catra, and gently asked the actors to make sure that they spent lots of time over the weekend going over their lines.

When she was done with that, Catra was sitting at the back of the auditorium, glaring angrily at the seat in front of her. Adora gathered up their script binders and trudged back to meet her.

“Oh! Catra!” Entrapta said, pigtails bouncing. Adora loved Entrapta’s pigtails. They were always curled the exact same way. “Are there any more tech notes I should know about?”

“I don’t fucking know,” Catra snapped.

“Oh,” Entrapta said, looking like she was on the verge of tears. Adora could have sworn that her pigtails drooped a little but. 

“Um,” Adora cut in. “Catra, I got this.”

Catra gave Adora a look that only amplified the anxious alarms that had been going off in Adora’s head since the beginning of rehearsal. As Catra walked away, Adora forced herself to look back at Entrapta and smile.

“I’m sorry,” Adora said. “She’s had a long week. She didn’t mean to yell. Let’s make sure you’re all caught up on notes.”

“Thanks!” Entrapta said, pulling a pen from behind her ear. “And, um, tell Catra I hope next week is better for her.”

Adora smiled. “I will.”

As it turned out, there were only two things Entrapta didn’t have written down, and they were minor things. She took them seriously all the same. Adora tried not to let it show that she was anxious to get back to Catra and figure out what was going on with her.

Catra was sitting on the counter in the now empty but very messy makeup room. Her knees were tucked up to her chest, and she was picking at her nail polish.

“So,” Adora said. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Catra shrugged. She looked like she was about to cry. Anxiety welled up in Adora all over again, and she felt her hands start to shake.

“Did I do something wrong?” Adora asked. She didn’t think she had, but she wasn’t sure. Maybe she’d been too pushy with affection, or feelings, or something. Maybe Catra really was second guessing this. Maybe Adora just wasn’t what she wanted.

“No,” Catra said, but the way she said it didn’t exactly reassure Adora. She took a deep breath and braced herself for whatever conversation was about to happen. If it ended with a breakup, Adora could live with it. She’d rather go back to just being friends than make Catra uncomfortable with a relationship. Adora pulled a chair in front of Catra and sat, crossing her legs under her. She rocked back and forth anxiously, trying to figure out what to say next.

“What’s going on, then?” 

“I dunno,” Catra said, shrugging. “Nothing.”

Suddenly, Adora was a lot less anxious and a lot more frustrated. “Clearly there’s something.”

“Maybe there’s not,” Catra said. Her voice was shaky, like she was holding back tears. “Maybe I’m just tired and I want to be alone.”

“I’m gonna go find Glimmer and have her take me home tonight,” Adora said. She figured that the last thing she should be doing was forcing Catra to spend more time with her if she just wanted to be alone. “Are you good to drive?”

Catra nodded.

Adora grabbed her backpack and packed up as quickly as she could. The tension in the room was thick and unpleasant, and Adora wanted out. She’d never been very good at feelings. She was on the verge of tears, and Catra clearly was, too. They’d both had a long week, and maybe it was best if they both took a little bit of time to rest.

“Call me later if you wanna talk,” Adora said from the doorway. Catra didn’t say anything.

***

As soon as Adora left, Catra burst into tears. She’d done it. She’d officially ruined everything. Why would Adora want to date someone who yelled at people who didn’t deserve it and pushed her farther away every day?

Catra was just starting to spiral when a firm, gentle hand on her shoulder snapped her out of it.

“Woah, hey, what’s happening?” Lonnie asked. Her eyebrows were scrunched together, and her eyes were filled with an uncharacteristic amount of worry.

“Shit,” Catra said. “Sorry. I thought everyone was gone.”

“Nope,” Lonnie said. “Wow. I’ve never seen you cry before.”

“Hah,” Catra left. “Any chance you’ll forget this happened?”

“Nope,” Lonnie said, hopping up onto the counter next to Catra. They were quiet for a moment, but, of course, it didn’t last. 

Kyle and Rogelio appeared in the doorway. They were holding hands, and Kyle’s other hand was shoved into the pockets of his too-big jeans. 

To Catra’s dismay, Lonnie gestured for the two of them to come sit. Catra groaned and covered her face. She was very, very glad that she hadn’t worn makeup.

“What’s wrong?” Kyle asked. He sounded afraid. Fuck. Catra was sick and tired of people being scared of her, but she figured that she kind of deserved it. She’d never really been anything but mean to him.

“Can’t you guys just leave me alone?” Catra grumbled, wiping her eyes.

“Nope,” Lonnie said. “Not until you tell us what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Catra said through gritted teeth. 

“Right,” Lonnie said. She rolled her eyes. “You’re just crying in front of people because you felt like it.”

“Very funny.”

“Where’s Adora?” Kyle asked. “Should we… go find her or something?”

“Please don’t,” Catra said, earning her an eye raise from Lonnie and confused looks from both Kyle and Rogelio. “Plus, she already left.”

“Don’t you two go everywhere together?” Kyle asked.

“Apparently so,” Catra said. She refused to meet Kyle’s eyes. She’d probably just scare him away anyway. 

“Oh,” Kyle said. “Are you two fighting or something?”

“No,” Catra said. “At least, I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?” Lonnie asked. “How does that work?”

Catra shrugged. “I was kind of mean to her earlier.”

“Did she deserve it?”

“No,” Catra said miserably. “She never deserves it.”

“Then apologize,” Lonnie said, like it should have been obvious. And really, it should have been. But Catra didn’t like admitting that she was wrong. It would have been a million times easier to storm out of the room and never come back. She doubted she’d be missed, anyway. She was best known for terrorizing Freshmen and yelling at actors who didn’t deserve her anger.

Catra shrugged again.

“What are you two fighting about?” Kyle asked.

“We’re not fucking fighting,” Catra snapped.

“Okay, okay,” Kyle said, raising a hand in surrender. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Catra said quietly. “Sorry.”

“What are you fighting about?” Lonnie prompted, nudging Catra.

Catra made a noise that she was pretty sure sounded like a cat being woken up from a nap. “We’re not fighting.”

“Then what happened that made you…” Lonnie gestured at Catra. “Upset?”

“I dunno, I’ve just had a long week, and I took it out on everyone else,” Catra said.

“Yeah, we heard you yelling earlier,” Kyle said.

Catra shot him a glare. He shut up.

“I’m just overwhelmed, and I don’t know how to talk about it.”

“Then tell her that,” Lonnie said. “She’s Adora. She’ll understand. You know her. She knows you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Catra said. She wasn’t convinced.

A long moment of silence settled over the room like a blanket, and when it was clear that Catra was done talking, Lonnie patted her back as reassuringly as she could, then ushered Kyle and Rogelio out.

Catra spent her drive home mentally drafting texts to Adora. Nothing sounded quite right. 

***

Adora found Glimmer in the gym. Basketball season hadn’t started yet, which meant that the gym was free after school for her and her dance team to practice. Well, it wasn’t really a dance team. The girls had pom poms and wore skirts and red lipstick. It was really just cheerleading without the cheers. Frankly, Adora had a lot more fun watching them than she ever did watching the cheerleaders.

“Hey!” Glimmer smiled when she saw Adora. “Be right there.”

Adora did her best to smile convincingly. She set her backpack down and slid down with her back against the wall. She watched as Glimmer finished up her practice. How those girls did that, she had no idea. They were all kicking their feet up above their heads and keeping up with counts that made Adora little bit dizzy. By the time the girls were done, Adora had a bit of a headache from the clapping and counting that had been echoing through the gym. She was pretty sure she would have died doing this three days a week after school. 

“Can I drive home with you?” Adora asked.

“Of course,” Glimmer grinned. “I’m honored, but, uh, where’s Catra?”

“Probably on her way home.”

“Probably?” Glimmer raised an eyebrow. “You two have spent all week together. How can you not know where she is?”

Adora shrugged. “I’ll tell you later.”

Glimmer must have sensed that Adora was upset, because she put her regular shoes back on, packed up her dance bag, and found her keys in record time.

“Bow’s coming over tonight, by the way,” Glimmer said when she and Adora were on their way out to the car. It was raining a little bit, but Adora didn’t mind. They gym was stuffy, and the fresh air was nice. “Is this Catra thing a thing we need to set you straight about?”

“Maybe,” Adora admitted. “I don’t know what’s going on with her.”

“Hm,” Glimmer said. She tossed her bag in the trunk. “I’ll text Bow and get him to bring over cookies or something.”

“Thanks,” Adora said gratefully. Sometimes she forgot how well Glimmer knew her. They had grown up together, after all.

***

Bow nudged Glimmer’s bedroom door open with his hip. He was carrying a tupperware full of what Adora really hoped were freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Bow’s dads had an endless supply of top tier recipes, and both of them were amazing cooks.

“Ta da!” he said, flopping down on the bed, presenting the cookies like they were a crown.

“Thanks,” Glimmer said brightly. She leaned over and kissed the tip of Bow’s nose. Adora’s heart sank. All she wanted was for her and Catra to be like that: gentle and easy. She had a feeling that she was going to have to work for it, though. 

“Alright,” Bow said. “Down to business.”

Adora couldn’t help but smile. Bow had that effect. Whenever he walked into a room, it was nearly impossible not to get a little bit happier. 

“Adora?” Glimmer prompted, picking up a cookie. 

Adora was tempted to shove a cookie into her mouth whole to avoid this conversation for another few minutes, but she decided against it.

“Catra got weird and distant,” she said. “She’s been snapping at people all day, and then she snapped at me earlier. Well. Kind of. Not really?”

“What did she say?” Bow asked.

“I asked her if I did something wrong,” Adora started. “And then she said no.”

“Okay, that doesn’t sound bad at all,” Glimmer said. The way she said it almost convinced Adora that it really wasn’t bad. Almost.

“Yeah, but I asked her if she was sure nothing was wrong, and she just said she wanted to be alone,” Adora said sadly.

“She’s allowed to want space,” Bow said gently. He took Adora’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“I know,” Adora said. “I just want her to not… y’know. Yell at everyone about it.”

“And that’s also valid,” Bow said.

“I think you two need to communicate,” Glimmer said around a mouthful of cookie. 

“I know,” Adora said. “But that’s kind of hard to do when she’ll do anything to avoid talking about her feelings.”

“Fair,” Bow said. “Okay. Pretend I’m Catra. What would you say to me if you could say anything at all?”

“Um,” Adora said. She was having an exceptionally hard time picturing Catra’s face instead of Bow’s. Bow’s face was so naturally sweet and gentle. Catra was… beautiful. But she was hotheaded, and her face held more intensity than Bow’s entire body did. “Okay…”

“Just do it,” Glimmer said. “I know it’s, like, weird or whatever. But trust us.”

“Okay,” Adora said. “Um, I’d say that… I guess I’d say that I’m scared she thinks she made a mistake by dating me. Or that I’m overwhelming her, and she wants me to stop, but she doesn’t know how to tell me. Or that I’m scared she doesn’t actually like me how I like her.”

Adora was all too aware of how quiet and shaky her voice was.

Bow’s shoulder’s drooped and his face fell. “Adora,” he said gently. “Come here.”

Adora gratefully leaned into Bow’s hug. Glimmer wrapped her arms around Adora, too, and she wasn’t sure she had the words to tell her friends how grateful she was for them. This all seemed so stupid, but it was hard, and Adora was tired of pretending that it wasn’t.

“What do I do?” Adora asked, her voice muffled by Bow’s shoulder.

Bow let go of her and braced his hands on her shoulders. He took a breath and gave Adora one of those looks that promised everything was going to be okay without saying a single word. “I think you just have to let her reach out when she’s ready.”

That wasn’t what Adora wanted to hear. “I know,” she said glumly. 

“She loves you,” Glimmer said gently. “And I know her. She probably feels real shitty about yelling at you. Just give her some time, okay?”

Adora nodded reluctantly. She didn’t want to give Catra time. She wanted to drive over to Catra’s house and demand that she tell her what was going on. She was tired of feeling like this, but she stayed on Glimmer’s bed.

“Have a cookie in the meantime,” Bow offered, holding out the tupperware.

Adora took the cookie, and it was good enough that it almost solved everything with just one bite. 

For a little while, the anxious weight on Adora’s chest dissipated. She ate too many cookies and let herself laugh, and then, at exactly 10:09, her phone lit up with a text from Catra:

Catra  
hey, can we talk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, uh, sorry this took so long. real quick: since i'm getting overwhelmed with school, i'm probably not gonna be updating every week anymore. i'll probably be updating every other week or so? sorry ://
> 
> anyways, i'm sorry this one got so angsty. i swear i meant to let them be happy for a little bit first, but oh well here we are
> 
> adora: hm catra seems mad better ask her what's up  
> catra: fuck off  
> adora: ok bye i guess sorry for existing  
> catra: promptly bursting into tears
> 
> also haha i kind of didn't mean to make catra and adora's scenes parallel each other so heavily, but like that happened and i like how it turned out.
> 
> thank you all for reading and commenting and leaving kudos. it seriously means a lot to me and motivates me to keep writing! i love u all and i will see you in a week or two (whenever i have the time and energy to post again)


	13. all i wanted was you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which catra is Bad At Communicating

It took all weekend and most of the next week for Catra and Adora to find a time to talk. Catra had spent the weekend dealing with Shadow Weaver, and Adora had been bombarded with tests and homework all week long. Adora spent the week looking longingly at Catra, who was even more distant than she’d been the last week.

On Friday, Hordak announced that he had family matters to deal with, so rehearsal was cancelled. Catra insisted on spending a little while in the auditorium, going through the props that were already laid out and making lists of what was still needed. Adora suspected that it was just a way to stall.

Finally, Catra decided that the props were in their places and the lists were as complete as they could have been. She wordlessly grabbed her keys and Adora followed after her like a lost puppy. She was almost embarrassed about it. Almost. At this point, she was just frustrated. She wanted Catra to talk to her. She missed her. 

The car ride to Catra’s house was awkwardly quiet, even with music playing in the background. Adora tried asking Catra how her day had been, but all she got was a quiet hum. 

Adora nodded, put off, and passed the rest of the drive by looking out the window and watching the strip mall and grocery store and elementary school zip by. 

Catra didn’t talk until she and Adora were settled awkwardly in the living room. Adora had kept her backpack close; the keychains gave her something to fidget with. She sat on the floor in front of the fireplace that hadn’t been used in decades and crossed her legs. Catra curled up on the end of the couch farthest away from Adora.

“So,” Catra said, not even looking at Adora. “We should talk.”

“Yeah, duh,” Adora said, trying not to let the hurt show in her voice. Of course they should talk. That was all Adora had wanted for almost two weeks, and all Catra had done was brush her off.

Catra sighed. “I owe you an explanation.”

“That would be great,” Adora said. She tried to say it gently, but it came out a little harsher than she intended. Catra flinched. 

“Um,” Catra said. She took a deep breath. “This kind of stuff is hard for me to say, so gimme a minute.”

“What stuff? Feelings?” Adora asked, desperately trying to cut through the tension.

Catra rolled her eyes. “Yes. Feelings.”

“Sorry,” Adora said quietly. “Go ahead. I’m listening.”

“Thanks,” Catra said. “Um, I guess I just started to get distant because I was scared? And overwhelmed?”

“Scared about what?” Adora asked. 

Catra shrugged. “I’ve never done any of this before. I don’t wanna mess it up.”

“I haven’t done any of it either,” Adora said. She resisted the urge to crack a joke about how, even though she was scared, she hadn’t iced Catra out for almost two weeks.

“I know,” Catra said. “It just seems to come easier to you.”

Adora shrugged. “Not really. I just try not to let myself think about it.”

“Fair enough, I guess,” Catra said. “I shouldn’t have, y’know, gotten so distant for so long. It wasn’t fair to you.”

“No,” Adora agreed. “It wasn’t.”

Part of her wanted to say something more, to make Catra apologize for real. She deserved at least that, right? It wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? Two weeks, and this was all Catra could give her? It didn’t feel fair. 

But the louder voice in Adora’s head told her to bite her tongue. Pushing Catra to say something she didn’t want to wouldn’t end well. And “I’m sorry” wasn’t something that Catra ever wanted to say. Come to think of it, Adora didn’t think she’d ever heard Catra say those words in all the time they’d been friends.

Instead of pushing for an apology, Adora did what she knew would put this behind them:

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I probably overwhelmed you, and maybe I pushed too hard when I shouldn’t have.”

Catra shrugged again. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Well, it wasn’t yours either.”

Yes, it was. It definitely was. Adora had been hoping that, in offering Catra her own apology, she would get one back. Especially since Adora really didn’t think she had much of anything to apologize for. Of course, she got nothing from Catra.

“Good talk,” Adora said bitterly. She hadn’t meant to say it, but the words slipped out of her mouth and she couldn’t take them back.

Catra laughed a single, harsh laugh. “You’re the one who wanted to have this talk,” she said.

“Yeah, because you spent two weeks practically ignoring me,” Adora said. Well. There was no going back now.

“No, I didn’t,” Catra said. “I was dealing with shit, so excuse me if I didn’t have time for everything you wanted to do.”

“It’s not about that,” Adora said quietly. “I’m sorry. I was just worried about you, that’s all. I want you to know that I’m here for you. As your best friend and your girlfriend.”

“I know,” Catra said, softening a little bit. “And I’m here for you, too.”

“Thanks,” Adora said. “I should, um, get going.”

“Want me to take you home?” Catra offered, already reaching for her keys.

“Nah,” Adora said. “I’ll call Glimmer.”

Apparently there was going back.

The last thing Adora wanted was to sit alone in a car with Catra. Although, sitting alone with Glimmer was only a little bit better. 

Glimmer showed up in fishnets, a pleated skirt, a school color sweater, and bright red lipstick. Apparently, she hadn’t bothered changing after practice.

“How’d it go?” she asked eagerly, clearly not seeing the look on Adora’s face. 

Adora shrugged, trying not to cry. Two weeks, and she’d hardly gotten anything out of Catra. She was starting to think that dating was going to be really, really bad for her and Catra in the long run.

“Hey,” Glimmer said, gently squeezing Adora’s shoulder. “You okay?”

Adora just shrugged.

***

Catra dropped her head into her hands. What had she been thinking? Adora deserved more from her. Why couldn’t she just make the words come out of her mouth? She was sorry. She was so sorry. It wasn’t fair that she iced Adora out, and still, Adora was the one apologizing. Adora deserved more from her.

There were so many things Catra wished she could say. But she hadn’t said any of them. She’d barely even managed to remind Adora that she cared about her. 

Catra flopped back down onto the couch, dreading spending the night alone with her thoughts. Melog was wandering the house, looking for a sunny spot to nap in, so she was on her own.

By dinnertime, Catra wasn’t even a little bit hungry. She pulled out her homework to distract herself, but she couldn’t focus on it for more than a couple of minutes. There had to be something she could do to make this right. 

What had her creative writing teacher said? Letters. Sometimes it was easier to write out how you felt than say it. Maybe Catra could write Adora a letter. Then, she’d be able to apologize and remind Adora how much she cared about her at once. But would Adora think that was weird? Maybe. Did Catra care? Very much.

Catra spent another twenty minutes staring down at a blank sheet of lined paper, tapping a pen on the table. She started and scrapped the letter twice. After the third draft she had to tear up, Catra put on her “hopeless yearning” playlist in hopes that it would make her writing sound more genuine. Surprisingly, it worked.

When she set out to write the letter, Catra had hoped that she would end up with pages upon pages of writing, conveying all of her feelings to Adora. Catra wanted to apologize and remind Adora that she loved her all at once. What she ended up with was this:

Adora,

Hey. My creative writing teacher mentioned that sometimes, writing your feelings is easier than actually saying them. So, that’s what I decided to do. Clearly. Anyway, I feel really bad about how our talk went, so I wanted to try and make it right. You deserve better than a vague, half assed explanation, so here goes:

Lately, I’ve been having a really hard time with a lot of things, but the main one is how I feel about you. I care about you. A lot. And I’ve wanted to be dating you since we were fourteen. But what I didn’t realize is that actually being with you is going to take some getting used to. It’s scary. And it’s an adjustment, but please, please don’t take that the wrong way. My feelings for you haven’t changed. I still very much want to be your girlfriend, I just need you to be patient with me for a little while so I can adjust. 

Also, you probably know that I tend to shut down when I get overwhelmed. That’s what’s been happening lately. But it still wasn’t fair to you. I should have at least explained to you what was going on instead of lashing out and then not talking to you for a week. That wasn’t fair at all, and I promise to do my absolute best to keep it from happening in the future. 

Please know that, no matter what, I love you. You’ve been my best friend for three years, and now you’re my girlfriend, too. You make me so incredibly happy, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I want to be able to make you as happy as you make me. Please just be patient with me, and talk to me when something’s wrong. 

I’m sorry. I promise I’ll do better.

Catra

Catra folded the letter up and wrote Adora’s name on it in cursive. She sealed it up with a sticker so that she couldn’t go back and overthink what she’d written. Those last two parts had been… hard to write. 

It wasn’t like she didn’t think about those things all the time. But actually putting them to words - especially words that she fully intended on giving to Adora to read - was different. It was terrifying.

Catra decided that she couldn’t show up with only a folded piece of paper, so, an hour of stress induced baking and overthinking later, Catra had a batch of brownies sprinkled with powdered sugar to give Adora as a peace offering. 

The sun was starting to go down, and Catra almost let herself use that as an excuse to stay home and eat the brownies herself and just give the letter to Adora when she saw her at school on Monday. But Catra wasn’t a child and she had a car and she couldn’t eat that many brownies on her own. So she gathered up her present and her letter and her courage and got in the car.

She took the long way. 

And when she knocked on the door, Angella answered.

“Hello, dear,” Angella chirped pleasantly. She was holding a hand painted mug with wisps of steam curling out of it.

“Hey,” Catra said. “Uh, I brought something for Adora.”

“Oh!” Angella said. “One moment.”

“Of course,” Catra said, holding her brownies and her letter a little tighter. 

“Adora!” Angella called up the stairs. “Catra has something for you!”

For a long moment, nothing happened. Footsteps startled Catra and she looked over at the stairs, expecting to see a blonde ponytail. Instead, she got fuschia space buns. Of course Glimmer was Adora’s middle man right now.

“Hey,” Catra said nervously, scanning Glimmer’s face for any signs of anger. Luckily, she didn’t find any. “These are for Adora. Where is she?”

“She’s upstairs,” Glimmer said. Her tone warned Catra not to press any further. “I’m sure she’ll appreciate these.”

“I hope so,” Catra said. Suddenly, the entryway was suffocating and Catra couldn’t pass her present on to Glimmer fast enough. “I should get home and make dinner.”

Glimmer nodded. Her face softened a bit. “I’ll have Adora call you when she’s feeling up to it.”

“Thanks,” Catra said. Her voice was barely a whisper.

Catra took the long way home again. She liked being able to focus on driving instead of her own deafening thoughts. Plus, when she got home all she could do was eat dinner, do homework, and wait anxiously for Adora to call.

Eventually, though, Catra had to stop wasting gas and just go home. Melog was waiting for her on the couch, licking his paws insistently. Catra curled up next to him and scratched his ears. In no time, he was purring gently and Catra’s anxiety was starting to ease.

Catra was starting to consider getting up and getting something to eat when her phone buzzed and sent her heart rate through the roof all over again. She took a deep breath before she turned her phone over. When she did, she was greeted with Adora’s name.

Adora  
Thank you  
Also, the brownies were really good :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! sorry this took so fuckin long to get out. i've been super busy and lacking motivation. also, sorry that this is a bit shorter. it's angsty, tho, so i hope that makes up for it. i'm gonna try to take less time getting the next chapter out, but no promises
> 
> anyway, thank you so so much for reading! it really does mean a lot to me!


	14. coming home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which catra finally figures out how to be a good girlfriend and adora's brain shuts down

Adora really couldn’t stay mad at Catra. She was doing her best, after all. Plus, they were both under a lot of pressure: between applying to college, keeping up with school, and stage managing, neither of them had much energy for anything else. And it wasn’t like either of them really had any idea how to do any of this, anyway. Adora really couldn’t blame Catra for being overwhelmed when she was feeling the exact same way. She might have been handling it better, but she wasn’t going to bring that up with Catra. It wasn’t fair of her.

Luckily, there was a perfect distraction for the both of them fast approaching: homecoming. Catra had finally agreed to go to a dance with Adora, and Adora was not about to let that opportunity pass her by. She wouldn’t waste the dance being mad at her girlfriend. Girlfriend. Adora had a girlfriend. That still threw her off sometimes. She bit back a smile and forced her eyes back to the essay she was supposed to be reading through. 

It was hard, though, because now she was imagining what it would be like to dance with Catra. And what it would be like to lean against the wall and judge everyone else’s outfits with Catra. And leave early to go buy snacks and spend the rest of the nights wearing pajamas and watching movies. Wait. Since when was Adora the kind of person to leave a dance early? Adora blinked down at her essay. Since she and Catra started dating, apparently.

Adora shrugged down at her paper, trying to force back another smile. No one smiled at academic essays about the pros and cons of different economic systems. Especially not ones written by people who so clearly favored capitalism. She’d only gotten through the first paragraph. She glanced over at the clock. She had… all of five more minutes to get through the rest of this. Was it really that important? 

Adora spent the last five minutes she had highlighting things that looked important.

***

Things seemed to have smoothed over with Adora. Catra’s letter and brownies had done the trick. A weight had lifted off of Catra’s shoulders when she’d gotten Adora’s text on Sunday night asking if Catra was planning on driving Adora to school. Of course she was planning on it.

Everything still felt a little bit… breakable, though. There was a weird tension that hadn’t been there, like tissue paper pulled tight, waiting to tear apart. The way that Adora held Catra’s hand had turned tentative, and her eyes were always searching, looking for something to go wrong again. Catra really couldn’t blame her. She hadn’t exactly been a good girlfriend these last couple of weeks, but she planned to make it all up to her at homecoming. Catra would suck it up, make herself look pretty, and stay at the dance as long as Adora wanted to. She’d even go to the football game on Friday if Adora wanted to.

Catra dropped her backpack at her feet and leaned against the wall. She pulled her ponytail out and let her hair flop down into its usual wavy mess. Having it up was giving her a headache. Or maybe it was Perfuma and Scorpia trying and failing to lead the caffeinated band kids in breathing exercises right down the hall. They were being impossibly loud.

“Hey,” Adora said, startling Catra. “What’s wrong? You look like someone stole your cat.”

“First of all, I’d never let that happen,” Catra said. “Second of all, look.”

Catra pointed down the hall to where Scorpia and Perfuma were.

“Oh,” Adora said. “It’s… kind of sweet.”

“No, it’s not,” Catra said.

“It’s not,” Adora agreed. “I love them. But, why would they do that?”

“No idea,” Catra shrugged. “Lunch?”

Adora nodded and followed Catra into the makeup room.

Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle were already sitting there. Kyle was showing something to Rogelio on his phone, and Rogelio seemed entirely unimpressed. Lonnie had a notebook out in front of her and was frantically flipping through pages.

“Woah, what’s going on?” Catra asked, hopping up onto the counter and crossing her legs underneath her.

“I’m trying to get Rogelio to come to homecoming with me,” Kyle said. His voice was squeaky. He was the same age as Catra and Adora, but he still kind of sounded like a nervous fourteen year old. Maybe that’s who he was inwardly.

“Apparently this test is next period,” Lonnie said, not looking up from her notes.

“What class?” Adora asked.

“Math,” Lonnie said.

“Oh, sorry,” Adora said sympathetically. “Can’t help you there.”

Lonnie shot her a look. “Then let me study, please?”

“Right, yeah,” Adora said. Then, quieter, “Sorry.”

Lonnie waved off her apology, and Catra knew that was her way of telling Adora that she wasn’t upset.

“Alrighty,” Catra said. “Anybody have anything interesting to talk about?”

***

After school, Catra found herself sitting back in the makeup room, looking at the messy collage of things stuck to the walls: old art, show posters, pieces of tape. 

“Hey, Wildcat,” Scorpia said, startling Catra.

“Hey,” Catra said. They were the only two in the room, and it was, admittedly, a little awkward. Where was everyone else? Rehearsal started in ten minutes.

“How have you been?” Scorpia asked. Catra eyed her suspiciously. Scorpia sounded like she was trying to get something out of Catra. 

“Pretty good,” Catra said, but she had a feeling that the tension in her voice gave her away.

“I promise no one put me up to talking to you,” Scorpia said. “I just wondered how you’ve been.”

Catra nodded. “Kinda stressed,” she said. “There’s just a lot going on.”

“Yeah,” Scorpia said, hugging her arms around her. “I know what you mean.”

“How’s football?” Catra asked, unwilling to let awkward silence settle.

“It’s good,” Scorpia said. “Not quite the same without Adora, but, y’know. How’s the play going?”

“Fine,” Catra said. “Better if the actors would get off book.”

Scorpia laughed, and it sounded genuine. It made Catra smile. She and Scorpia hadn’t been close in a long time, and she missed her. She missed Scorpia’s unabashed kindness and gentleness. Sure, she was an amazing football player, but she also gave the best hugs (not that Catra would ever admit it) and she could make anyone smile with just a few words. She hadn’t deserved everything Catra had thrown at her when they were younger.

“Hey, do you and Perfuma wanna come to homecoming with me and Adora?” Catra asked, surprising herself.

“Oh!” Scorpia looked a little bit stunned. “Yes! Of course!”

“Awesome,” Catra said. “We don’t really have any plans yet, but we can definitely make some.”

“Should we start a group chat?” Scorpia asked giddily.

“Sure,” Catra said, pulling her phone out of her back pocket. She started a new group chat with the four of them and sent off a quick text asking if anyone had any ideas for homecoming plans. Right as she sent the text, Adora appeared in the doorway, groaning.

“I’m gonna kill my math teacher,” she said, dropping her backpack on the floor and flopping into an empty chair.

“What happened?” Catra asked.

“He won’t let me retake the unit test. He says I have to wait until the final, even though I missed two lessons.”

“That’s bullshit,” Catra said.

“Which teacher?” Scorpia asked.

“Brown,” Adora said.

“Oh, he’s the worst,” Scorpia said. “I had him last year. I can help you study for the next test if you want.”

“Thanks,” Adora said. “Maybe. If I miss any lessons.”

“Okay,” Scorpia nodded eagerly. “Me and Catra were just talking about homecoming. She invited me and Perfuma to go with you two.”

“Really?” Adora asked, glancing over at Catra, who just smiled and shrugged. “That’d be great.”

“That’s what I said!”

“It’ll be good to hang out with you again. I miss seeing you at practice,” Adora said.

“I miss yout too!” Scorpia said, holding her arms out. 

She gave Adora a bear hug, and when she let go, she pulled her phone out.

“Oh, crap,” Scorpia said, frowning. “I’m gonna be late. See you two later!”

***

“So, were you planning on going to the game tomorrow?” Catra asked. She was laying with her head in Adora’s lap. Adora was twirling Catra’s hair around her fingers.

“I don’t know,” Adora said. “I’ve been trying not to think about it, honestly.”

“How come?” Catra asked, sitting up and turning to face Adora. Adora reached for one of Catra’s hands, and Catra let her take it.

Adora shrugged. “People expect me to be there, but I don’t know if I actually want to go.”

“We could just go for a little bit,” Catra suggested.

“What’s up with you?” Adora asked. “Usually you’d be thrilled that I’m not dragging you to this.”

“I dunno,” Catra said. “I mean, it’ll be cold and terrible, but it’d be nice to see Scorpia play, right?”

“Yeah,” Adora said. “We could sit with Perfuma or something.”

“Doesn’t Glimmer want you to watch her perform?”

“Right, yeah,” Adora said. “So we’d have to stay at least until halftime.”

“We can manage that, right?”

“I think so,” Adora said. 

“I’ll drive, so we can leave whenever if it gets to be too much,” Catra offered.

Adora nodded and took a deep breath. “Okay. Yeah.”

“Hey,” Catra said, squeezing Adora’s hand. “You good?”

“I guess I just feel a little guilty about ditching the team and not really thinking twice about it.”

“You definitely did think twice,” Catra said. “You get to make your own decisions. You’re almost an adult.”

“I know,” Adora said. “I know.”

“So we’ll go to the game,” Catra said. “And we’ll find Perfuma -”

“And Bow,” Adora cut in.

“We’ll find Perfuma and Bow,” Catra said. “And we’ll stay to watch Glimmer perform, and then we can leave anytime.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Adora said. 

When she smiled, Catra couldn’t help but smile back, relieved that she’d finally handled something well.

***

Hordak didn’t cancel rehearsals on Friday. He never did. He was very vocal about his adamant hatred of homecoming. He thought it was obnoxious and unnecessary. Frankly, so did a lot of theater kids. Usually, it worked out well. This year, though, Catra was anxious to get out of rehearsals so that she and Adora could go get ready. Catra was finally being a good girlfriend, and she wasn’t going to let a grumpy middle aged man who hated his job get in the way of that.

The game started at 7:00, and Hordak didn’t let them out of rehearsals until almost 6:00. It was fine. They could be a little late. Nothing exciting happened at football games, anyway. Catra didn’t even know the rules. To her, football was just throwing a ball and running back and forth. And head injuries. There were a lot of those. Frankly, it was a miracle that Adora’s head was still intact.

Adora wore her red letterman jacket and her hair in its usual poofy ponytail. Catra borrowed one of Adora’s school sweatshirts because she didn’t have any of her own, and she touched up her makeup in the bathroom before they left.

“Ready?” Adora asked. She was standing by the door, swinging her arms anxiously.

“Mhm,” Catra said. She leaned up and kissed Adora. When she pulled away, Adora’s face was bright red. Catra fought the urge to tease her about it.

Catra and Adora got back to the school right at 7:00. Already, there was nowhere to park. They wasted ten minutes circling all of the student parking lots before they gave up and drove a couple blocks away to park. 

They walked back to the school holding hands, not talking. The sounds of the game carried all the way to where they were, filling the silence. Catra had to guide Adora to the ticket line. Only then did she realize that this was the first game that Adora had been to, but not played in. 

When they got inside, Catra decided that this was her own personal hell. Two different obnoxiously bass boosted songs were playing from two different speakers. The air smelled like over buttered popcorn and shitty chocolate chip cookies. Shouts and cheers rang out periodically, and crowds of people milled about.

“I’m gonna text Bow,” Adora said. “I think he came early with Glimmer. He usually helps the girls get ready.”

“They let him do that?” Catra asked.

“I guess so,” Adora said. She kept a hold of Catra’s hand, and Catra smiled up at her.

“Bow’s still inside with them,” Adora said.

“Text Perfuma,” Catra suggested.

Adora typed out another text. “She says she’s in front of the bleachers.”

“To the bleachers we go, then.”

Perfuma was exactly where she said she’d be, wearing one of Scorpia’s jackets. She had those stupid little school spirit dots on her face, and her hair was braided back. She was craning her neck to be able to properly see the field. Did she actually know how football worked?

“Hey!” Perfuma said when she saw Catra and Adora. She insisted on hugging both of them. Catra grumbled, but she let it happen. “I’m so glad you two made it!”

“Yeah,” Adora said. “Me, too.”

Perfuma said something about how the game was going, recounting the highlights thus far with animated hand gestures and words Catra couldn’t make sense of. Adora seemed enthralled, though, so Catra wrapped an arm around Adora’s waist and tried to listen.

It felt like an eternity before the players filed off of the field and the halftime show started. They brought out the princesses and their escorts first, and made a whole show of crowning the homecoming queen. Unsurprisingly, it was Mermista. She was a senior, and even though she was generally grumpy, she was hilarious. Catra hadn’t met anyone who genuinely didn’t like her.

The marching band did their thing, and Catra couldn’t really see the appeal of it. They were off key, and she saw two different Freshmen trip over their own feet.

Catra did like the dance team’s performance, though. Maybe she was biased since she actually liked Glimmer. Right before they marched out, Bow bounced over and said a quick hello, then said something about going to film the performance. The marching band cleared out, forming a rectangle for the dancers to perform anything. Catra actually watched. She liked the homecoming dance. There was a lot of kicking and a lot of pom pom waving, just like all their other dances. But this one was especially pretty. The band even got their shit together and played well.

The girls filed back off the field, and the third quarter of the game started. Somehow, Catra and Adora got dragged inside with the dancers. It got them out of the cold, though, so Catra didn’t mind. Apparently, the dancers got ready in a health classroom, so Catra sat on a table, occasionally tossing out reassurances about the performance as Adora and Bow helped unzip uniforms and take down buns.

By the time Catra and Adora finally left, Catra was exhausted. From how quiet Adora was, she was, too. 

When Catra pulled up in front of Adora’s house, Adora didn’t get out of the car. She and Catra just sat there for a little while, holding hands. At some point, Adora leaned over and rested her head on Catra’s shoulder. Catra kissed her temple and ruffled her hair. All of the little puzzle pieces that she’d been missing before seemed to slide right into place.

***

“Just hold still, will you?” Glimmer asked. She was holding eyeliner in one hand and Adora’s face in the other. “This won’t take that long if you just stop moving your face.”

“Okay, okay,” Adora said, staying as still as she could. 

“That’s better,” Glimmer said.

Twenty long minutes later, Glimmer finally decided that there was enough makeup on Adora’s face. Adora looked in the mirror. She had to admit, she looked good. Glimmer had put gold sparkles on her eyelids, given her dramatic eyeliner, highlighted cheekbones, and red lipstick.

“Now go get dressed,” Glimmer ordered. 

Adora looked down at the clothes set out on her bed. Bright red pants and a matching blazer, with a fitted dress shirt. What had she been thinking when she bought this? It was way, way too much. 

Reluctantly, she put it on anyway. It fit as well as she remembered. Adora spent a few minutes looking at herself in the mirror, adjusting her collar and the sleeves of her jacket. It was strange. She’d never worn anything like this before. Usually, she just threw on a dress and a pair of cheap heels that she’d inevitably take off twenty minutes into the dance. She felt better wearing this. More like herself. 

“Adora?” Angella’s voice called from downstairs. “Catra’s here.”

Adora’s heart skipped a beat. Was this going to be too much? Was she going to be overdressed?

Adora shoved her shoes onto her feet, slid her phone into her pocket, and grabbed her wallet from her desk. She rushed downstairs and nearly tripped over her own feet when she got there.

Catra was standing, talking to Angella. Adora couldn’t hear what they were saying, and she didn’t really care. All she cared about was what Catra was wearing: black pants, a burgundy lace corset top, and a black jacket tossed over one of her shoulders. Her hair was curled she she was wearing minimal makeup. Yes, Adora had seen the outfit before, but this was different. Now, she was actually allowed to look at Catra without it being weird.

“Hey,” Adora said, her throat dry. 

When Catra turned to look at Adora, Adora got to watch her brain short circuit. Angella looked back and forth between them.

“Are you girls okay?” she asked, when neither of them had said anything coherent after a full minute.

“Mhm,” Adora murmured. All Catra offered was a nod.

“Well, you two had better get going, then,” Angella said.

“Right,” Catra said, snapping back to reality. She grinned at Adora. “You look pretty.”

“You too,” Adora said. “That doesn’t even cover it.”

“I know,” Catra said over her shoulder, winking. “Ready to go, princess?”

***

Catra and Adora walked hand in hand to where Scorpia and Perfuma were waiting for them against the far wall of the gym. The lights were dimmed, and colors danced over the walls, floor, and ceiling. Predictably awful music blared, and people shouted. It was all a little overwhelming, but Catra gripped Adora’s hand tighter and hoped that she wouldn’t have to stay too long.

It way longer than it should have to get across the room. People kept stopping Catra and Adora to compliment their outfits, and that was more than okay with Catra. If people wanted to tell her she was pretty, she really wasn’t going to complain. 

Scorpia and Perfuma were holding little dixie cups of water and leaning against the wall. They both looked a little overwhelmed. Catra couldn’t blame them. Perfuma was wearing a flowy pink dress and strappy sandals. Scorpia was wearing a fitted black dress. There was a flowery clip in her hair. 

“Hey!” Perfuma yelled over the music. She insisted on hugging Catra and Adora again, and Catra just let it happen, turning her face to save her makeup. Scorpia hugged Catra, too, and Catra actually hugged her back.

“Do you guys wanna dance?” Scorpia asked. “I wanna dance.”

Catra looked over at Adora.

“Sure,” Adora shrugged. Catra nodded.

Once they started dancing, Catra didn’t get the satisfaction of flustering Adora. Instead, Adora managed to turn her cheeks bright red. Catra was swung around in turns and lifts that didn’t at all match the music that was playing. But apparently, Adora felt the need to make Catra’s brain stop working properly. By the time they left the dance floor, they were both breathing hard.

“How’re you doing?” Adora asked.

“Tired,” Catra admitted, wrapping her arms around Adora’s neck. She looked up at her girlfriend and couldn’t help but smile.

“You wanna get out of here?” 

Catra nodded gratefully. “But I wanna keep hanging out.”

“Me, too,” Adora said softly. Catra couldn’t quite hear her voice over the noise of the dance, but she knew well enough what Adora was saying.

***

They took the long way home, letting music fill the silence that neither of them had the energy to properly fill. Adora said a few things about the terrible music choices of the year and the kid who had tried to crowdsurf and gotten kicked out. Catra told Adora about the used condom that had apparently been sitting on the floor, and they both laughed, disgusted.

When they got back to Adora’s house, Angella insisted that they sit and have a cup of tea with her and tell her everything once they changed into something more comfortable.

Catra had to admit, it was nice to just sit and talk with a mother who really cared. She’d never had that before, and she’d never really taken Angella up on her offers. Now, sitting with her hands wrapped around a warm mug of tea, shoulder brushing against Adora’s, she felt safe. Comfortable.

Catra spent the night. They didn’t go to sleep until late. Glimmer got home a little after midnight and insisted on recounting everything that had happened after Catra and Adora left. Apparently, someone else had tried to crowdsurf and one of the math teachers had fallen and hurt his knee. Catra half listened. She was more concerned with her half asleep girlfriend whose head got heavier and heavier on her shoulder by the minute.

Eventually, Glimmer realized how tired Catra and Adora were, and left. 

“Don’t do anything stupid,” she sang from the doorway.

Catra rolled her eyes and lovingly flipped Glimmer off.

Once Glimmer was gone, Adora laid down and pulled Catra into her arms. Catra tucked her head under Adora’s chin and let her eyes drop closed. Adora was asleep in minutes. It took Catra longer to fall asleep, but she was happy. 

Everything was falling into place, exactly as it should have been. Catra fell asleep to the rhythm of Adora’s heartbeat, soft and steady in her ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i hope you enjoyed this fluff to make up for all the angst i threw at you! the homecoming incidents are based off of actual shit that went down at my junior homecoming, by the way.
> 
> thank you so so much for reading! it means a lot to me! i'll see you in a couple weeks with the next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think! if you have any ideas for future chapters/character cameos, please tell me, and maybe i'll throw them in somewhere :)


End file.
